[Script for The Spoony Experiment: Matrix: Revolutions]
[Copyright 2004 Noah Antwiler]



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< 00:00:05 > M: Brought to you by NyQuil.
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< 00:00:08 > T: It's time for Animaniacs!
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< 00:00:10 > M: So what's this movie about?
< 00:00:11 > T: Oh, well it's quite simple.  The human race is enslaved by a race of plumber snakes, and kept locked in a virtual reality simulation for no readily apparent reason.  And Keanu Reeves is The Chosen One.
< 00:00:12 > M: What, the guy from Point Break?
< 00:00:13 > T: Yeah.
< 00:00:14 > M: Oh my god.
< 00:00:15 > T: No no it was really good.
< 00:00:16 > M: But Keanu Reeves...I mean, Ted "Theodore" Logan?  Humanity's last hope?  Just kill yourself.
< 00:00:17 > T: Well anyway, there's a lot of fortune cookie crap thrown in there too.  Oh, and "love" is the ultimate weapon against the machines.
< 00:00:18 > M: Love?  Against robots?  Keep thinkin' that when I create clones of me and enslave you.
< 00:00:19 > T: Oh yeah and Hugo Weaving is Agent Smith.  Basically he's the lost Blues Brother who can create copies of himself.
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< 00:00:39 > T: The Marketing Division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation was the first against the wall when The Matrix Revolutions came.
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< 00:00:45 > T: Pitch Black, starring Vin Diesel.
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< 00:00:48 > **HALLEELUJAH!  HALLELUJAH!**
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< 00:00:53 > M: This is what a urinal sees!
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< 00:00:55 > T: Whoaaaa! We're on a Matrix Bungee Cord!
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< 00:01:01 > T: Whoaaaa!  Booiiiing!
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< 00:01:07 > T: We must be looking at Greenland.
< 00:01:08 > M: I saw a Green Lantern comic like this once.
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< 00:01:12 > T: If ya smell what the Rock is cookin'!
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< 00:01:16 > M: Somebody jiggle the movie, the screen saver kicked in.
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< 00:01:19 > T: Just crashed to a blue screen, I dunno what happened.
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< 00:01:23 > M: You wanna order pizzas online?
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< 00:01:32 > T: I was gonna watch "Who Wants to Marry My Dad" tonight, too.
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< 00:01:39 > M: Then deploy the butter sauce!!
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< 00:01:42 > T: After the apocalypse, sports bras will still be in abundance!
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< 00:01:46 > M: Oh my god, I dreamt I was in Speed driving a bus.
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< 00:01:53 > T: Nope, still stupid.
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< 00:01:59 > M: Still sucking his gut in.
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< 00:02:08 > T: Like "Who put the Bop in the Bop She Bop She Bop"
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< 00:02:15 > M: Or he's got one psychotic cat.
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< 00:02:22 > T: Maybe he just wants out of this crappy movie.
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< 00:02:26 > M: Tell Ron to get out of the chair, I wanna play City of Heroes.
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< 00:02:36 > T: Narrow the search to really stupid people.
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< 00:02:40 > M: It'd run faster if you turned off Kazaa, dude.
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< 00:02:45 > T: A brain?  I said bring up Neo's scan.
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< 00:02:49 > M: These wooly pullovers chafe.
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< 00:02:55 > T: Yeah.  And you'd know.
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< 00:03:02 > *Eeeew!*
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< 00:03:05 > T: Oh wow!  Neo is 802.11 Compliant.  He's gone wireless.
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< 00:03:10 > M: Dude dude get the Quad Damage!
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< 00:03:13 > T: Ah man I hate when people use shields in CounterStrike.
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< 00:03:24 > M: Did we pick up the keg yet?
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< 00:03:35 > T: Lubejob, I want you on sandwich duty.
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< 00:03:40 > M: Someone just sent you an instant message.
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< 00:03:46 > T: Is our refridgerator running?
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< 00:03:49 > M: WAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!
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< 00:03:54 > T: Lights out, NO TALKING!
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< 00:04:01 > T: Oh man, so that's why absinthe is illegal in the States...
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< 00:04:05 > *aaah!*
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< 00:04:11 > M: I'm an annoying kid!
< 00:04:12 > T: Aren't they all?
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< 00:04:19 > M: I dunno man, I was out with the guys and we went partyin'...
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< 00:04:26 > T: Well duh.
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< 00:04:39 > M: No idiots allowed.
< 00:04:40 > T: oooh.
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< 00:04:55 > *hum the "Stayin' Alive" theme*
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< 00:05:04 > T: We're going to see Morpheus' grandma.
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< 00:05:11 > M: Eew, do you smell that?
< 00:05:12 > T: Smells like cigarettes and ass in here!
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< 00:05:18 > M: They shortchanged me at Burger King AGAIN.
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< 00:05:22 > T: Aw MAN did Seraph fart?
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< 00:05:27 > M: You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they...
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< 00:05:32 > T: But for some reason they felt the need to stretch this crap into three movies.

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< 00:05:43 > M: I'm addicted to CSI: Miami.
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< 00:05:56 > *cigarette-sucking sound*
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< 00:06:02 > T: Explaining all this crap gives me more screen time.
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< 00:06:07 > M: Who?
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< 00:06:13 > T: Nebraska?
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< 00:06:18 > M: You'll have to track him down.
< 00:06:19 > T: Gaah!
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< 00:06:26 > T: He'll kick his caboose.
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< 00:06:35 > M: Oh he makes the best cake.
< 00:06:36 > T: Mmm!  Orgasmic.
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< 00:06:44 > T: Oh, I was gonna ask you for a ride, actually...
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< 00:06:54 > M: She got killed though.  Great job you did.
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< 00:06:58 > T: You mind if I use your bathroom?
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< 00:07:13 > M: Just roll with it, it'll end the movie much quicker.
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< 00:07:25 > T: Morpheus, hurry up, we're double-parked.
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< 00:07:30 > M: He needs help, all right.
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< 00:07:33 > T: Look, just leave me alone kid.
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< 00:07:40 > M: It was most bogus, dude.
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< 00:07:44 > T: I'm very annoying.
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< 00:07:51 > M: Aw man, now I gotta spend 5 minutes talking to these guys now.
< 00:07:52 > T: I hate these most egregious talking scenes, dude.

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< 00:07:57 > M: Do I have to whoop your ass, is that it?
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< 00:08:07 > T: I don't care.  Do you care?
< 00:08:08 > M: Nope.
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< 00:08:22 > T: Whoaaa, be excellent, all right?
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< 00:08:28 > M: I believe your word for it is "bitch"
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< 00:08:35 > T: Yeah, but he's used to not knowing stuff.
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< 00:08:40 > M: Nebraska?
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< 00:08:47 > T: You read the script.
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< 00:08:51 > M: And he does not bathe.
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< 00:09:01 > T: Oh dude, that was a really long sentence...
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< 00:09:11 > M: Yeah, pipe down honey, man talk here.
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< 00:09:21 > T: I do it for my annoying time wasting child.
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< 00:09:38 > M: So basically the kid's the equivalent of an Internet Cookie.
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< 00:09:42 > T: Whoa, soap opera staring going on now.
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< 00:09:54 > M: Oh I can't take this Star Trek crap.
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< 00:10:02 > T: Told you Sorbo, love is the ultimate weapon.
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< 00:10:06 > M: I'm just sorta hungry, really.
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< 00:10:10 > M: Uhhhh, my Playstation 2.
< 00:10:11 > T: No way!
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< 00:10:20 > T: Look I'm sorry we're taking the subway, I didn't know they'd boot my car for a couple tickets.
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< 00:10:26 > M: Johnny Damon from the Red Sox?

< 00:10:27 > T: Nah, not hairy enough.
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< 00:10:31 > T: We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.
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< 00:10:37 > M: A dentist could help you.
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< 00:10:45 > T: Can you imagine the funk of urine and flat beer trailing off him?
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< 00:10:48 > M: Whoo, he's quick for a man in crunchy underwear.
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< 00:10:52 > T: To the Hobomobile!
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< 00:10:57 > M: Let's see, how many calories did I burn?
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< 00:11:01 > T: It's Extreme Turnstile Jumping, on ESPN-4.
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< 00:11:05 > M: James Woods is Kyle Reese in The Terminator.
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< 00:11:09 > T: Damn he's fast!  Discarded McDonald's garbage must be full of vitamins.
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< 00:11:14 > M: Can't you shoot him in the leg or something?
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< 00:11:19 > M: Al Gore's really hit the skids since the election.
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< 00:11:23 > T: Smelly, unshaven, and thoroughly vile.  Truly he's a minion of the French.
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< 00:11:33 > M: I know what you're thinking, did I fire 12 shots or only 11.  From my revolver. 
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< 00:11:42 > T: Just follow the cloud of intense B.O.
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< 00:11:46 > M: Yes, i think we can work in another good 5 minutes of talking before getting the plot moving.
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< 00:11:54 > T: Yeah, 'cause it looks like he's got so much to do.
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< 00:11:58 > M: Maybe he didn't like Point Break.
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< 00:12:02 > T: Which one?
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< 00:12:05 > 
< 00:12:06 > 
< 00:12:07 > 
< 00:12:08 > 
< 00:12:09 > 
< 00:12:10 > 
< 00:12:11 > M: What does that mean?
< 00:12:12 > 
< 00:12:13 > 
< 00:12:14 > 
< 00:12:15 > T: She's way too annoying.
< 00:12:16 > 
< 00:12:17 > 
< 00:12:18 > 
< 00:12:19 > 
< 00:12:20 > 
< 00:12:21 > 
< 00:12:22 > 
< 00:12:23 > M: He charges an arm and a leg.
< 00:12:24 > 
< 00:12:25 > 
< 00:12:26 > 
< 00:12:27 > 
< 00:12:28 > 
< 00:12:29 > T: Oh man, here we go again.
< 00:12:30 > 
< 00:12:31 > 
< 00:12:32 > 
< 00:12:33 > 
< 00:12:34 > 
< 00:12:35 > 
< 00:12:36 > M: I resent all of you!
< 00:12:37 > 

< 00:12:38 > 
< 00:12:39 > 

< 00:12:40 > 
< 00:12:41 > 
< 00:12:42 > 
< 00:12:43 > 
< 00:12:44 > 
< 00:12:45 > T: Can we please end this scene? Have you no sense of decency?  It's terrible!
< 00:12:46 > 
< 00:12:47 > 
< 00:12:48 > 
< 00:12:49 > 
< 00:12:50 > T: Yes, maybe now something will HAPPEN!!
< 00:12:51 > 
< 00:12:52 > 
< 00:12:53 > 
< 00:12:54 > 
< 00:12:55 > 
< 00:12:56 > M: No, I think we'll be just fine without you, beefcake.
< 00:12:57 > 
< 00:12:58 > 
< 00:12:59 > 
< 00:13:00 > 
< 00:13:01 > 
< 00:13:02 > 
< 00:13:03 > 
< 00:13:04 > 
< 00:13:05 > T: Got lots of panhandling and smelling like ass to do.
< 00:13:06 > 
< 00:13:07 > 
< 00:13:08 > 
< 00:13:09 > 
< 00:13:10 > 
< 00:13:11 > 
< 00:13:12 > M: I... am an FBI agent...
< 00:13:13 > 
< 00:13:14 > 
< 00:13:15 > 
< 00:13:16 > T: Weren't you in that Dracula movie??
< 00:13:17 > 
< 00:13:18 > 
< 00:13:19 > 
< 00:13:20 > M: Maybe they just wanted to give you a flea bath.
< 00:13:21 > 

< 00:13:22 > 
< 00:13:23 > 

< 00:13:24 > 
< 00:13:25 > 
< 00:13:26 > 
< 00:13:27 > 
< 00:13:28 > 
< 00:13:29 > M: In the Matrix they don't take American Express.
< 00:13:30 > 
< 00:13:31 > 
< 00:13:32 > 
< 00:13:33 > 
< 00:13:34 > 
< 00:13:35 > 

< 00:13:36 > 
< 00:13:37 > 
< 00:13:38 > T: Oh ok.  Can I order pizza or something here?
< 00:13:39 > 
< 00:13:40 > 
< 00:13:41 > 
< 00:13:42 > 
< 00:13:43 > 
< 00:13:44 > 
< 00:13:45 > M: Stephen Baldwin seems out of place in this movie.
< 00:13:46 > 
< 00:13:47 > 
< 00:13:48 > 
< 00:13:49 > 
< 00:13:50 > T: Down here, *I* break the wind.
< 00:13:51 > 
< 00:13:52 > 
< 00:13:53 > 
< 00:13:54 > 
< 00:13:55 > 
< 00:13:56 > 
< 00:13:57 > 
< 00:13:58 > T: I believe in a God with a nice haircut and no gingivitis.
< 00:13:59 > 
< 00:14:00 > 
< 00:14:01 > 
< 00:14:02 > 
< 00:14:03 > 
< 00:14:04 > M: So he's The One, but Kurt Cobain here can just kick his lily ass?
< 00:14:05 > 
< 00:14:06 > 
< 00:14:07 > 
< 00:14:08 > 
< 00:14:09 > 
< 00:14:10 > T: Uggggggh I fell on my keys, dude...
< 00:14:11 > 
< 00:14:12 > 
< 00:14:13 > 
< 00:14:14 > 
< 00:14:15 > 
< 00:14:16 > 
< 00:14:17 > M: I'll show him, I'm totally gonna pee in that corner over there.
< 00:14:18 > 
< 00:14:19 > 

< 00:14:20 > 
< 00:14:21 > 
< 00:14:22 > 
< 00:14:23 > 
< 00:14:24 > 
< 00:14:25 > 
< 00:14:26 > T: Exchange fruity pseudo-philosophy?
< 00:14:27 > 
< 00:14:28 > 
< 00:14:29 > 
< 00:14:30 > 
< 00:14:31 > 
< 00:14:32 > *ningningingnign*SPLAT**

< 00:14:33 > 
< 00:14:34 > 
< 00:14:35 > 
< 00:14:36 > 
< 00:14:37 > 
< 00:14:38 > 
< 00:14:39 > T: Try making train noises!
< 00:14:40 > 
< 00:14:41 > 
< 00:14:42 > 
< 00:14:43 > M: "What Dreams May Come" was terrible.
< 00:14:44 > 
< 00:14:45 > 
< 00:14:46 > 

< 00:14:47 > 
< 00:14:48 > 
< 00:14:49 > 
< 00:14:50 > 
< 00:14:51 > T: Welcome to the fashion victim nightmare that is the Australian night life.
< 00:14:52 > 
< 00:14:53 > 
< 00:14:54 > 
< 00:14:55 > 
< 00:14:56 > 
< 00:14:57 > 
< 00:14:58 > M: Baby got BACK! *sing the song*
< 00:14:59 > 
< 00:15:00 > 
< 00:15:01 > 
< 00:15:02 > 
< 00:15:03 > 
< 00:15:04 > T: *whistle the Good Bad & Ugly theme*
< 00:15:05 > 
< 00:15:06 > 
< 00:15:07 > 
< 00:15:08 > 

< 00:15:09 > 
< 00:15:10 > 
< 00:15:11 > 
< 00:15:12 > T: Harro.  My name is Inigo Montoya...
< 00:15:13 > 
< 00:15:14 > 
< 00:15:15 > 
< 00:15:16 > 
< 00:15:17 > 
< 00:15:18 > 
< 00:15:19 > M: They must get their dialogue from the Henchman's Book of Threats.
< 00:15:20 > 
< 00:15:21 > 
< 00:15:22 > 

< 00:15:23 > 
< 00:15:24 > 
< 00:15:25 > 
< 00:15:26 > 
< 00:15:27 > T: Or if you pay the $5 COVER CHARGE!
< 00:15:28 > 
< 00:15:29 > 
< 00:15:30 > 
< 00:15:31 > 
< 00:15:32 > T: Death by Shiatsu!
< 00:15:33 > 
< 00:15:34 > 
< 00:15:35 > M: She must be really sneaky in all that pleather.
< 00:15:36 > 
< 00:15:37 > 
< 00:15:38 > 
< 00:15:39 > T: Yup, these guys are easily defeated.  Must be working with the French.
< 00:15:40 > 

< 00:15:41 > 
< 00:15:42 > 
< 00:15:43 > 
< 00:15:44 > T: Ugh, every time I go to a club it's gotta be 80s night or some crap.
< 00:15:45 > 
< 00:15:46 > 
< 00:15:47 > 
< 00:15:48 > 
< 00:15:49 > 
< 00:15:50 > 
< 00:15:51 > 
< 00:15:52 > 
< 00:15:53 > 
< 00:15:54 > 
< 00:15:55 > 

< 00:15:56 > 
< 00:15:57 > 
< 00:15:58 > 
< 00:15:59 > 
< 00:16:00 > 
< 00:16:01 > 
< 00:16:02 > M: Do we have to tip him?
< 00:16:03 > 
< 00:16:04 > 
< 00:16:05 > 
< 00:16:06 > T: (as Morpheus) Oh...well I saw the sign and sorta left my guns in the car...whoops.
< 00:16:07 > 
< 00:16:08 > 
< 00:16:09 > 
< 00:16:10 > T: (sing) Move, bitch!  Get out the way!
< 00:16:11 > 
< 00:16:12 > 
< 00:16:13 > 
< 00:16:14 > 
< 00:16:15 > M: WHOA!  Take a note man, do not become a coat checker.
< 00:16:16 > 
< 00:16:17 > 
< 00:16:18 > 
< 00:16:19 > 
< 00:16:20 > T: Look out!  Here comes the Spider-Man!
< 00:16:21 > 
< 00:16:22 > 
< 00:16:23 > 
< 00:16:24 > 
< 00:16:25 > 
< 00:16:26 > 
< 00:16:27 > 

< 00:16:28 > T: Cool, a gunfight in a room with pillars on each side.  At least it's something new.
< 00:16:29 > 
< 00:16:30 > 
< 00:16:31 > 
< 00:16:32 > 
< 00:16:33 > 
< 00:16:34 > 
< 00:16:35 > 
< 00:16:36 > 
< 00:16:37 > 
< 00:16:38 > 
< 00:16:39 > 
< 00:16:40 > M: Check out the size of those guns on the wall, must be a drinks special for postal workers tonight.
< 00:16:41 > 
< 00:16:42 > 
< 00:16:43 > 
< 00:16:44 > 
< 00:16:45 > 
< 00:16:46 > 
< 00:16:47 > 
< 00:16:48 > 
< 00:16:49 > 
< 00:16:50 > 
< 00:16:51 > 
< 00:16:52 > M: They'll never shoot me if I bounce around in the open like an idiot!
< 00:16:53 > 
< 00:16:54 > 
< 00:16:55 > 
< 00:16:56 > 
< 00:16:57 > 
< 00:16:58 > 
< 00:16:59 > 
< 00:17:00 > T: So how does the gas mask help?
< 00:17:01 > 
< 00:17:02 > 

< 00:17:03 > 
< 00:17:04 > 
< 00:17:05 > 
< 00:17:06 > 
< 00:17:07 > 
< 00:17:08 > M: Uhhhh, it doesn't.
< 00:17:09 > 
< 00:17:10 > 
< 00:17:11 > 
< 00:17:12 > T: WOW he had about 5 seconds to line up that shot, too.
< 00:17:13 > 
< 00:17:14 > 
< 00:17:15 > 

< 00:17:16 > 
< 00:17:17 > 
< 00:17:18 > 
< 00:17:19 > 
< 00:17:20 > 
< 00:17:21 > 
< 00:17:22 > 
< 00:17:23 > M: Damn, I thought the fruity gymnastics routine would really throw them, urrgh!

< 00:17:24 > 
< 00:17:25 > 

< 00:17:26 > 
< 00:17:27 > 
< 00:17:28 > 
< 00:17:29 > T: This movie is SO ripping off The Matrix.  Oh...wait...
< 00:17:30 > 
< 00:17:31 > 
< 00:17:32 > 
< 00:17:33 > 
< 00:17:34 > 
< 00:17:35 > M: It's the Gimp!  All right!

< 00:17:36 > T: Looks like Catwoman.

< 00:17:37 > 
< 00:17:38 > 
< 00:17:39 > 
< 00:17:40 > 
< 00:17:41 > M: I'll just stand here and let you hit me.  It's part of my master fighting technique...
< 00:17:42 > 
< 00:17:43 > 
< 00:17:44 >  
< 00:17:45 > 
< 00:17:46 > M: Oh, well, ow, then...

< 00:17:47 > 
< 00:17:48 > 
< 00:17:49 > 
< 00:17:50 > 
< 00:17:51 > 
< 00:17:52 > 
< 00:17:53 > 
< 00:17:54 > 
< 00:17:55 > T: Poor Ben Affleck.
< 00:17:56 > 
< 00:17:57 > 
< 00:17:58 > 
< 00:17:59 > 
< 00:18:00 > M: Ow!
< 00:18:01 > T: Another S&M club?  We're just revisiting the material that worked in the first movie now.
< 00:18:02 > 
< 00:18:03 > 
< 00:18:04 > M: Oooh ow ow ow.  Hey why did you hit me when I twisted your nipples?  She seemed to like it.

< 00:18:05 > 
< 00:18:06 > 

< 00:18:07 > 
< 00:18:08 > 
< 00:18:09 > 
< 00:18:10 > 
< 00:18:11 > 
< 00:18:12 > 
< 00:18:13 > 
< 00:18:14 > 
< 00:18:15 > 
< 00:18:16 > 
< 00:18:17 > T: My god, Trinity, a room full of people who dress weirder than we do...
< 00:18:18 > 
< 00:18:19 > 
< 00:18:20 > 
< 00:18:21 > 
< 00:18:22 > 
< 00:18:23 > 
< 00:18:24 > 
< 00:18:25 > M: Might I suggest shooting the DJ?
< 00:18:26 > 
< 00:18:27 > 
< 00:18:28 > 
< 00:18:29 > 
< 00:18:30 > 

< 00:18:31 > 
< 00:18:32 > 
< 00:18:33 > 
< 00:18:34 > T: Zat is one goofy dance zey're doing.
< 00:18:35 > 
< 00:18:36 > 
< 00:18:37 > 
< 00:18:38 > 
< 00:18:39 > 
< 00:18:40 > M: Trophy wife!  Bring zem to me!
< 00:18:41 > 
< 00:18:42 > 
< 00:18:43 > 
< 00:18:44 > 
< 00:18:45 > 
< 00:18:46 > 
< 00:18:47 > T: I wish to ramble endlessly about cause and effect to you!
< 00:18:48 > 
< 00:18:49 > 
< 00:18:50 > *YAY!!! THE MUSIC'S STOPPED!  WOOO!*
< 00:18:51 > 
< 00:18:52 > 
< 00:18:53 > 
< 00:18:54 > 
< 00:18:55 > 
< 00:18:56 > 
< 00:18:57 > 
< 00:18:58 > 
< 00:18:59 > 
< 00:19:00 > M: Oh please just shoot him now.
< 00:19:01 > 
< 00:19:02 > 
< 00:19:03 > 
< 00:19:04 > 
< 00:19:05 > 
< 00:19:06 > 
< 00:19:07 > 
< 00:19:08 > 
< 00:19:09 > 
< 00:19:10 > 

< 00:19:11 > 
< 00:19:12 > T: Very well, I surrender!
< 00:19:13 > 
< 00:19:14 > 
< 00:19:15 > 
< 00:19:16 > 
< 00:19:17 > M: Not really, just 6 or 7 S&M weirdos.
< 00:19:18 > 
< 00:19:19 > 
< 00:19:20 > 
< 00:19:21 > 
< 00:19:22 > 
< 00:19:23 > 
< 00:19:24 > 
< 00:19:25 > 
< 00:19:26 > 
< 00:19:27 > 
< 00:19:28 > 
< 00:19:29 > T: After all, if you can't trust a greasy Frenchman, who can you trust?
< 00:19:30 > 
< 00:19:31 > 
< 00:19:32 > 

< 00:19:33 > 
< 00:19:34 > 
< 00:19:35 > 
< 00:19:36 > 
< 00:19:37 > 
< 00:19:38 > 
< 00:19:39 > 
< 00:19:40 > 
< 00:19:41 > 
< 00:19:42 > 
< 00:19:43 > 
< 00:19:44 > 
< 00:19:45 > 
< 00:19:46 > 
< 00:19:47 > 
< 00:19:48 > 

< 00:19:49 > M: These people dress like freaks, man.
< 00:19:50 > T: Ever see anime cosplayers?
< 00:19:51 > M: Yeah but they're just sad.
< 00:19:52 > T: Hm...subtle distinction.
< 00:19:53 > 
< 00:19:54 > 
< 00:19:55 > 
< 00:19:56 > 
< 00:19:57 > 
< 00:19:58 > M: How much plastic and dead cows did it take in an effort to make these idiots look cool?
< 00:19:59 > 
< 00:20:00 > 
< 00:20:01 > T: Allow me to pick up where we left off.  Ze only factual reality is cause and effect.  Choice is an illusion perpet--

< 00:20:02 > M: Shut up!
< 00:20:03 > 
< 00:20:04 > Eeeeew!
< 00:20:05 > T: David Blaine in two years.
< 00:20:06 > 
< 00:20:07 > 
< 00:20:08 > 
< 00:20:09 > 
< 00:20:10 > 
< 00:20:11 > 
< 00:20:12 > 
< 00:20:13 > M: We don't care!
< 00:20:14 > 
< 00:20:15 > 
< 00:20:16 > 
< 00:20:17 > 
< 00:20:18 > 
< 00:20:19 > 
< 00:20:20 > 
< 00:20:21 > 
< 00:20:22 > 
< 00:20:23 > T: Ah, cause & effect, he's back on track.
< 00:20:24 > 
< 00:20:25 > 
< 00:20:26 > 
< 00:20:27 > 
< 00:20:28 > 
< 00:20:29 > 
< 00:20:30 > 
< 00:20:31 > 
< 00:20:32 > 
< 00:20:33 > 
< 00:20:34 > 
< 00:20:35 > 
< 00:20:36 > 
< 00:20:37 > 
< 00:20:38 > T: Okay I don't know, why are you here?
< 00:20:39 > 
< 00:20:40 > 
< 00:20:41 > 
< 00:20:42 > 
< 00:20:43 > 
< 00:20:44 > 
< 00:20:45 > 
< 00:20:46 > 
< 00:20:47 > 
< 00:20:48 > 
< 00:20:49 > 
< 00:20:50 > 
< 00:20:51 > 
< 00:20:52 > 
< 00:20:53 > 
< 00:20:54 > M: Who wants some jello shots?  Anyone?
< 00:20:55 > 
< 00:20:56 > 
< 00:20:57 > 

< 00:20:58 > 
< 00:20:59 > 
< 00:21:00 > 
< 00:21:01 > 
< 00:21:02 > 
< 00:21:03 > 
< 00:21:04 > 
< 00:21:05 > T: Eeew, he's all turned on, now.
< 00:21:06 > 
< 00:21:07 > 
< 00:21:08 > 
< 00:21:09 > 
< 00:21:10 > 
< 00:21:11 > 
< 00:21:12 > 
< 00:21:13 > 
< 00:21:14 > 

< 00:21:15 > 
< 00:21:16 > 
< 00:21:17 > M: Uhhh...do you have the Paris Hilton video?  I can give you that.
< 00:21:18 > 
< 00:21:19 > 
< 00:21:20 > 
< 00:21:21 > 
< 00:21:22 > 
< 00:21:23 > 

< 00:21:24 > 
< 00:21:25 > 
< 00:21:26 > T: I want...a shrubbery!
< 00:21:27 > 
< 00:21:28 > 
< 00:21:29 > 
< 00:21:30 > M: Herpes?
< 00:21:31 > 
< 00:21:32 > 
< 00:21:33 > 
< 00:21:34 > 
< 00:21:35 > 
< 00:21:36 > 
< 00:21:37 > 
< 00:21:38 > 
< 00:21:39 > 
< 00:21:40 > 
< 00:21:41 > 
< 00:21:42 > 
< 00:21:43 > 
< 00:21:44 > 
< 00:21:45 > 
< 00:21:46 > 
< 00:21:47 > M: Good lord this guy drones on.
< 00:21:48 > 
< 00:21:49 > 
< 00:21:50 > 
< 00:21:51 > 
< 00:21:52 > 
< 00:21:53 > 
< 00:21:54 > 
< 00:21:55 > 
< 00:21:56 > 
< 00:21:57 > 
< 00:21:58 > 
< 00:21:59 > T: Where some see this movie, I see the backs of my eyelids, COME ON!
< 00:22:00 > 
< 00:22:01 > 
< 00:22:02 > 
< 00:22:03 > 
< 00:22:04 > 

< 00:22:05 > 
< 00:22:06 > 
< 00:22:07 > 
< 00:22:08 > 
< 00:22:09 > 
< 00:22:10 > 
< 00:22:11 > 
< 00:22:12 > 
< 00:22:13 > M: Can someone freshen my drink?  Anyone?
< 00:22:14 > 
< 00:22:15 > 
< 00:22:16 > 
< 00:22:17 > 
< 00:22:18 > 
< 00:22:19 > 
< 00:22:20 > M: Amen, sister!
< 00:22:21 > 
< 00:22:22 > 
< 00:22:23 > T: Whoa, something's happening, that can't be right!
< 00:22:24 > 
< 00:22:25 > 
< 00:22:26 > 
< 00:22:27 > 
< 00:22:28 > 
< 00:22:29 > 
< 00:22:30 > M: It's like beating up the entire backstage of a Rammstein concert.
< 00:22:31 > 
< 00:22:32 > 
< 00:22:33 > 
< 00:22:34 > 
< 00:22:35 > 
< 00:22:36 > T: This was not a very good plan, if you think about it.
< 00:22:37 > 
< 00:22:38 > 
< 00:22:39 > 
< 00:22:40 > 
< 00:22:41 > 
< 00:22:42 > 
< 00:22:43 > T: Cool, a Franco-Sado-Maso-Japi-Mexican Standoff.
< 00:22:44 > 
< 00:22:45 > 
< 00:22:46 > 
< 00:22:47 > 
< 00:22:48 > M: *FART*
< 00:22:49 > 
< 00:22:50 > 
< 00:22:51 > 
< 00:22:52 > 
< 00:22:53 > 
< 00:22:54 > 

< 00:22:55 > 
< 00:22:56 > 
< 00:22:57 > 
< 00:22:58 > 
< 00:22:59 > M: Must be that time for her.
< 00:23:00 > 
< 00:23:01 > 
< 00:23:02 > 
< 00:23:03 > 
< 00:23:04 > 
< 00:23:05 > 
< 00:23:06 > 
< 00:23:07 > 
< 00:23:08 > 
< 00:23:09 > 
< 00:23:10 > 
< 00:23:11 > T: You can probably understand why he finds that hard to believe.  I mean, it's Keanu.
< 00:23:12 > 
< 00:23:13 > 
< 00:23:14 > 
< 00:23:15 > 
< 00:23:16 > 
< 00:23:17 > M: And that's my only line!
< 00:23:18 > 
< 00:23:19 > 
< 00:23:20 > 

< 00:23:21 > 
< 00:23:22 > 
< 00:23:23 > 
< 00:23:24 > 
< 00:23:25 > 
< 00:23:26 > 
< 00:23:27 > 
< 00:23:28 > T: Ok, I cave immediately.
< 00:23:29 > 
< 00:23:30 > 
< 00:23:31 > 
< 00:23:32 > T: We're gonna rock on through, to Mobil Avenue...

< 00:23:33 > 
< 00:23:34 > 
< 00:23:35 > M: I wonder what would happen if I peed on the third rail.
< 00:23:36 > 
< 00:23:37 > 
< 00:23:38 > 
< 00:23:39 > M: I somehow got through Sweet November, I can get through this.
< 00:23:40 > 
< 00:23:41 > 
< 00:23:42 > 
< 00:23:43 > 
< 00:23:44 > T: YAWN!
< 00:23:45 > 
< 00:23:46 > 
< 00:23:47 > T: Could you people at home help me out?
< 00:23:48 > 
< 00:23:49 > 
< 00:23:50 > 
< 00:23:51 > 
< 00:23:52 > 
< 00:23:53 > 
< 00:23:54 > 
< 00:23:55 > M: Here comes the plot railroad.
< 00:23:56 > 
< 00:23:57 > M: So basically, this entire movie is padding and the last 30 minutes of Reloaded.
< 00:23:58 > 
< 00:23:59 > 
< 00:24:00 > 
< 00:24:01 > 
< 00:24:02 > 
< 00:24:03 > 
< 00:24:04 > 
< 00:24:05 > 
< 00:24:06 > T: *Terminator* Come with me if you want to live.
< 00:24:07 > 
< 00:24:08 > 
< 00:24:09 > 
< 00:24:10 > 
< 00:24:11 > M: *pleather squeaking noise*
< 00:24:12 > 
< 00:24:13 > 
< 00:24:14 > 
< 00:24:15 > 
< 00:24:16 > T: *From Here to Eternity music*
< 00:24:17 > 
< 00:24:18 > 

< 00:24:19 > 
< 00:24:20 > M: Oh come on.  You know he was in "Much Ado About Nothing," don't you.
< 00:24:21 > 
< 00:24:22 > 
< 00:24:23 > 
< 00:24:24 > T: Okay, place your bets.  I give it 3 to 1 the next scene is more talky filler.
< 00:24:25 > M: Nah I'm not taking that bet.
< 00:24:26 > 
< 00:24:27 > 
< 00:24:28 > 
< 00:24:29 > 
< 00:24:30 > 
< 00:24:31 > 
< 00:24:32 > 
< 00:24:33 > T: Yeah, told you not to get your hopes up.

< 00:24:34 > 
< 00:24:35 > 
< 00:24:36 > 
< 00:24:37 > 
< 00:24:38 > M: *as Neo* You know, this whole Matrix thing is like that Allegory by So-Crates.
< 00:24:39 > 
< 00:24:40 > 
< 00:24:41 > 
< 00:24:42 > 
< 00:24:43 > 
< 00:24:44 > 
< 00:24:45 > T: I have to kill another 5 minutes of movie off by talking.
< 00:24:46 > 
< 00:24:47 > 
< 00:24:48 > 
< 00:24:49 > 
< 00:24:50 > 
< 00:24:51 > 
< 00:24:52 > M: No, next week, YES I MEAN NOW.
< 00:24:53 > 
< 00:24:54 > 
< 00:24:55 > 
< 00:24:56 > 
< 00:24:57 > 
< 00:24:58 > 
< 00:24:59 > 
< 00:25:00 > 
< 00:25:01 > T: Wow, baking cookies.  THRILL AT THE ACTION OF THE MATRIX!
< 00:25:02 > 
< 00:25:03 > 
< 00:25:04 > 
< 00:25:05 > 
< 00:25:06 > 
< 00:25:07 > M: Oh god, the kid again...
< 00:25:08 > 
< 00:25:09 > 
< 00:25:10 > 
< 00:25:11 > 
< 00:25:12 > T: You'd think she'd have known when he'd be here.
< 00:25:13 > 
< 00:25:14 > 
< 00:25:15 > 
< 00:25:16 > 
< 00:25:17 > 
< 00:25:18 > 
< 00:25:19 > 
< 00:25:20 > 
< 00:25:21 > M: You're probably wondering why I look different.  Allow me to explain for ten minutes.
< 00:25:22 > 
< 00:25:23 > 
< 00:25:24 > 
< 00:25:25 > 
< 00:25:26 > 
< 00:25:27 > T: If only I had my gun.
< 00:25:28 > 
< 00:25:29 > 
< 00:25:30 > 
< 00:25:31 > 
< 00:25:32 > 
< 00:25:33 > 
< 00:25:34 > M: The stupid part.
< 00:25:35 > 
< 00:25:36 > 
< 00:25:37 > 
< 00:25:38 > 
< 00:25:39 > 
< 00:25:40 > 
< 00:25:41 > 
< 00:25:42 > 
< 00:25:43 > 
< 00:25:44 > 
< 00:25:45 > 
< 00:25:46 > 
< 00:25:47 > 
< 00:25:48 > M: I never thought I'd long for two idiots flying around in a magic phone booth.
< 00:25:49 > 
< 00:25:50 > 
< 00:25:51 > 
< 00:25:52 > 
< 00:25:53 > 
< 00:25:54 > T: Pretty much the same, but the fashion sense has gone downhill.
< 00:25:55 > 
< 00:25:56 > 
< 00:25:57 > 
< 00:25:58 > 
< 00:25:59 > 
< 00:26:00 > 
< 00:26:01 > 
< 00:26:02 > 
< 00:26:03 > 
< 00:26:04 > 
< 00:26:05 > M: Slow down!  This isn't boring enough!
< 00:26:06 > 

< 00:26:07 > 
< 00:26:08 > 
< 00:26:09 > 
< 00:26:10 > 

< 00:26:11 > T: Why?  Well the Wachowskis split their movie into two inferior attempts to cash in.
< 00:26:12 > 
< 00:26:13 > 
< 00:26:14 > 
< 00:26:15 > 
< 00:26:16 > 
< 00:26:17 > M: Well you're about as helpful as a broken leg.
< 00:26:18 > 
< 00:26:19 > 

< 00:26:20 > 
< 00:26:21 > 
< 00:26:22 > 
< 00:26:23 > 
< 00:26:24 > T: Oh god...
< 00:26:25 > 
< 00:26:26 > 
< 00:26:27 > 
< 00:26:28 > 
< 00:26:29 > T: Sorbo just kill me now, I just can't take this, man...
< 00:26:30 > 
< 00:26:31 > 
< 00:26:32 > 
< 00:26:33 > 
< 00:26:34 > 
< 00:26:35 > 
< 00:26:36 > 
< 00:26:37 > 
< 00:26:38 > T: Nothing's happening!  Just nothing!  Choice choice cause and effect, it means nothing!  It all means nothing!  Make it stop!!
< 00:26:39 > 
< 00:26:40 > 

< 00:26:41 > 
< 00:26:42 > 
< 00:26:43 > 
< 00:26:44 > 
< 00:26:45 > 
< 00:26:46 > 
< 00:26:47 > 
< 00:26:48 > 
< 00:26:49 > 
< 00:26:50 > 
< 00:26:51 > M: God?  Oh, I guess not.
< 00:26:52 > 
< 00:26:53 > T: It means "Go stick your head in a pig."
< 00:26:54 > 
< 00:26:55 > 
< 00:26:56 > 
< 00:26:57 > 
< 00:26:58 > 
< 00:26:59 > M: I farted.
< 00:27:00 > 
< 00:27:01 > 
< 00:27:02 > 
< 00:27:03 > 
< 00:27:04 > T: Why did they put me in "Constantine?"
< 00:27:05 > 
< 00:27:06 > 
< 00:27:07 > 
< 00:27:08 > 
< 00:27:09 > 
< 00:27:10 > 
< 00:27:11 > 
< 00:27:12 > 
< 00:27:13 > 
< 00:27:14 > M: Uh, the Force?
< 00:27:15 > 
< 00:27:16 > 
< 00:27:17 > T: Tell me why a program feels the need to chain smoke.
< 00:27:18 > 
< 00:27:19 > 
< 00:27:20 > 
< 00:27:21 > 
< 00:27:22 > 
< 00:27:23 > 
< 00:27:24 > M: Whoa, that sounds like crap writing to me.
< 00:27:25 > 
< 00:27:26 > 
< 00:27:27 > 
< 00:27:28 > 
< 00:27:29 > T: Nebraska?
< 00:27:30 > 
< 00:27:31 > 
< 00:27:32 > 
< 00:27:33 > 
< 00:27:34 > 
< 00:27:35 > 
< 00:27:36 > 
< 00:27:37 > M: I'm disappointed by it.
< 00:27:38 > 
< 00:27:39 > 
< 00:27:40 > T: I'm so confused, dude...
< 00:27:41 > 
< 00:27:42 > 
< 00:27:43 > 
< 00:27:44 > 
< 00:27:45 > 
< 00:27:46 > 
< 00:27:47 > 
< 00:27:48 > T: Colonel Sanders was just yankin' your chain.
< 00:27:49 > 
< 00:27:50 > 
< 00:27:51 > 
< 00:27:52 > 
< 00:27:53 > 
< 00:27:54 > 

< 00:27:55 > M: But he does get every cable channel.
< 00:27:56 > 
< 00:27:57 > 
< 00:27:58 > 
< 00:27:59 > 
< 00:28:00 > 
< 00:28:01 > 
< 00:28:02 > 
< 00:28:03 > 
< 00:28:04 > *blah blah blah blah...*
< 00:28:05 > 
< 00:28:06 > 
< 00:28:07 > 
< 00:28:08 > 
< 00:28:09 > 
< 00:28:10 > 
< 00:28:11 > 

< 00:28:12 > T: To drag the plot along by the balls until we die.
< 00:28:13 > 
< 00:28:14 > 
< 00:28:15 > 
< 00:28:16 > M: I mean, who cares?
< 00:28:17 > 
< 00:28:18 > 
< 00:28:19 > 
< 00:28:20 > M: Candy?
< 00:28:21 > 
< 00:28:22 > 
< 00:28:23 > 
< 00:28:24 > 
< 00:28:25 > 
< 00:28:26 > 
< 00:28:27 > T: Letting Zion get nuked will end the war.  Let's roll.
< 00:28:28 > 
< 00:28:29 > 
< 00:28:30 > 
< 00:28:31 > 
< 00:28:32 > 
< 00:28:33 > 
< 00:28:34 > 
< 00:28:35 > M: Will our lengthy exposition help in any way?
< 00:28:36 > 
< 00:28:37 > 
< 00:28:38 > 
< 00:28:39 > 
< 00:28:40 > 
< 00:28:41 > 
< 00:28:42 > 
< 00:28:43 > 
< 00:28:44 > 

< 00:28:45 > 
< 00:28:46 > 
< 00:28:47 > T: Google?
< 00:28:48 > 
< 00:28:49 > 
< 00:28:50 > 
< 00:28:51 > M: Nebraska?
< 00:28:52 > 
< 00:28:53 > 
< 00:28:54 > 
< 00:28:55 > 
< 00:28:56 > 
< 00:28:57 > 
< 00:28:58 > 
< 00:28:59 > T: Uhhh...is the answer "Jesus?"
< 00:29:00 > 
< 00:29:01 > 
< 00:29:02 > 
< 00:29:03 > 
< 00:29:04 > 
< 00:29:05 > 
< 00:29:06 > 
< 00:29:07 > 
< 00:29:08 > 
< 00:29:09 > 
< 00:29:10 > 
< 00:29:11 > 
< 00:29:12 > M: What about "The Song That Never Ends?"
< 00:29:13 > T: What about that Tetris, or Asteroids!
< 00:29:14 > 
< 00:29:15 > 

< 00:29:16 > 
< 00:29:17 > 
< 00:29:18 > 
< 00:29:19 > M: I hear the audience snoring.
< 00:29:20 > 
< 00:29:21 > 
< 00:29:22 > 
< 00:29:23 > 
< 00:29:24 > 

< 00:29:25 > 
< 00:29:26 > T: You know it, sunshine.
< 00:29:27 > 
< 00:29:28 > 
< 00:29:29 > 
< 00:29:30 > 
< 00:29:31 > 
< 00:29:32 > 
< 00:29:33 > 
< 00:29:34 > 
< 00:29:35 > T: By now he will have summoned an army great enough to launch an assault upon Middle Earth.
< 00:29:36 > 
< 00:29:37 > 
< 00:29:38 > 
< 00:29:39 > 
< 00:29:40 > 
< 00:29:41 > M: But he can do a decent British accent.
< 00:29:42 > 
< 00:29:43 > 
< 00:29:44 > 
< 00:29:45 > 
< 00:29:46 > 
< 00:29:47 > 
< 00:29:48 > M: He's the Darth Vader to your Luke.
< 00:29:49 > T: The Thulsa Doom to your Conan.
< 00:29:50 > M: The Mike Piazza to your Roger Clemens.
< 00:29:51 > 
< 00:29:52 > 
< 00:29:53 > 
< 00:29:54 > 
< 00:29:55 > 
< 00:29:56 > 
< 00:29:57 > 
< 00:29:58 > 
< 00:29:59 > 
< 00:30:00 > 
< 00:30:01 > 
< 00:30:02 > 
< 00:30:03 > 
< 00:30:04 > 
< 00:30:05 > T: Uh oh, time for the big Number 2.
< 00:30:06 > 
< 00:30:07 > 
< 00:30:08 > 
< 00:30:09 > 
< 00:30:10 > M: I can't believe I slept through On Air With Ryan Seacrest again.  Damn.
< 00:30:11 > 
< 00:30:12 > 
< 00:30:13 > 

< 00:30:14 > 
< 00:30:15 > 
< 00:30:16 > T: You talkin' to me?
< 00:30:17 > 
< 00:30:18 > M: BLARGH don't lean on my crotch when you do that.
< 00:30:19 > 
< 00:30:20 > 
< 00:30:21 > 
< 00:30:22 > 
< 00:30:23 > M: I feel most excellent, babe.
< 00:30:24 > 
< 00:30:25 > 
< 00:30:26 > 
< 00:30:27 > T: There must have been a special on ugly wool pullovers at Old Navy.
< 00:30:28 > 
< 00:30:29 > 
< 00:30:30 > 
< 00:30:31 > M: I can't remember my lines.
< 00:30:32 > 
< 00:30:33 > 
< 00:30:34 > 

< 00:30:35 > T: I wish the writers would give me something to say.
< 00:30:36 > 
< 00:30:37 > 
< 00:30:38 > 
< 00:30:39 > 
< 00:30:40 > 
< 00:30:41 > 

< 00:30:42 > 
< 00:30:43 > 
< 00:30:44 > 
< 00:30:45 > T: Ha ha!  Settle in, dude, we ain't done talkin' yet!  Not by a long shot!
< 00:30:46 > 
< 00:30:47 > 
< 00:30:48 > 
< 00:30:49 > 
< 00:30:50 > M: Now I hope you've learned what happens when you put kitty in the oven.
< 00:30:51 > 
< 00:30:52 > 
< 00:30:53 > 
< 00:30:54 > T: You are SICK!
< 00:30:55 > 
< 00:30:56 > 
< 00:30:57 > 
< 00:30:58 > 
< 00:30:59 > 
< 00:31:00 > 
< 00:31:01 > 
< 00:31:02 > M: Dharma and Greg is on...
< 00:31:03 > 
< 00:31:04 > 

< 00:31:05 > 
< 00:31:06 > 
< 00:31:07 > 
< 00:31:08 > 
< 00:31:09 > 
< 00:31:10 > 
< 00:31:11 > 
< 00:31:12 > 
< 00:31:13 > 
< 00:31:14 > 
< 00:31:15 > M: But there's only so much of you that we can take.
< 00:31:16 > 
< 00:31:17 > 
< 00:31:18 > 
< 00:31:19 > 
< 00:31:20 > 
< 00:31:21 > 
< 00:31:22 > 
< 00:31:23 > 
< 00:31:24 > T: *sing "These Boots Were Made for Walkin'"*
< 00:31:25 > 
< 00:31:26 > 
< 00:31:27 > 
< 00:31:28 > 
< 00:31:29 > 
< 00:31:30 > M: Jet Li in "The Babysitter"
< 00:31:31 > 
< 00:31:32 > 
< 00:31:33 > 
< 00:31:34 > 
< 00:31:35 > 
< 00:31:36 > T: Use the kid as a battering ram!
< 00:31:37 > M: Be nice!
< 00:31:38 > 
< 00:31:39 > 
< 00:31:40 > 
< 00:31:41 > 
< 00:31:42 > 
< 00:31:43 > 
< 00:31:44 > 
< 00:31:45 > 
< 00:31:46 > 
< 00:31:47 > 
< 00:31:48 > 
< 00:31:49 > M: Let me go check the breakers real quick.
< 00:31:50 > 
< 00:31:51 > 
< 00:31:52 > 
< 00:31:53 > 
< 00:31:54 > 
< 00:31:55 > 
< 00:31:56 > 
< 00:31:57 > 
< 00:31:58 > T: They CLONED Tommy Lee Jones.
< 00:31:59 > 
< 00:32:00 > 
< 00:32:01 > 
< 00:32:02 > 
< 00:32:03 > M: You know, this movie does make me question my existence.  "Is this world real?"  "Am I really here?" "Is there a God that could save me from this movie?"
< 00:32:04 > 
< 00:32:05 > 
< 00:32:06 > 
< 00:32:07 > 
< 00:32:08 > 
< 00:32:09 > 
< 00:32:10 > 
< 00:32:11 > 
< 00:32:12 > 
< 00:32:13 > T: Hello?  Don't you have those keys that can just warp you anywhere?
< 00:32:14 > 
< 00:32:15 > 
< 00:32:16 > 
< 00:32:17 > 
< 00:32:18 > 
< 00:32:19 > 
< 00:32:20 > 

< 00:32:21 > 
< 00:32:22 > 
< 00:32:23 > 
< 00:32:24 > 
< 00:32:25 > 
< 00:32:26 > T: What?
< 00:32:27 > M: What?
< 00:32:28 > T: Nothin' just thought you wanted something.
< 00:32:29 > 
< 00:32:30 > 
< 00:32:31 > 
< 00:32:32 > 
< 00:32:33 > 

< 00:32:34 > 
< 00:32:35 > M: Ya think?
< 00:32:36 > 
< 00:32:37 > 
< 00:32:38 > 
< 00:32:39 > 
< 00:32:40 > 
< 00:32:41 > 
< 00:32:42 > 
< 00:32:43 > T: We were wondering if you had any black shoe polish.

< 00:32:44 > 
< 00:32:45 > 

< 00:32:46 > 
< 00:32:47 > 
< 00:32:48 > 
< 00:32:49 > 
< 00:32:50 > 
< 00:32:51 > 
< 00:32:52 > 
< 00:32:53 > 
< 00:32:54 > 
< 00:32:55 > M: I'm like level 14 now.
< 00:32:56 > 
< 00:32:57 > 
< 00:32:58 > 
< 00:32:59 > 
< 00:33:00 > T: Bite me, Elrond!
< 00:33:01 > 
< 00:33:02 > 
< 00:33:03 > 
< 00:33:04 > 
< 00:33:05 > 
< 00:33:06 > M: She said you sucked in "The Interview!"
< 00:33:07 > 
< 00:33:08 > 
< 00:33:09 > 
< 00:33:10 > 
< 00:33:11 > 
< 00:33:12 > 
< 00:33:13 > 
< 00:33:14 > T: Oh no you di-int!
< 00:33:15 > 
< 00:33:16 > 
< 00:33:17 > Both: "Can we use your bathroom?"
< 00:33:18 > 
< 00:33:19 > 
< 00:33:20 > 
< 00:33:21 > T: ohhhh cigarette, if only you could do all the things a man could do... my god I love tar.
< 00:33:22 > 
< 00:33:23 > 
< 00:33:24 > 
< 00:33:25 > 
< 00:33:26 > 
< 00:33:27 > 
< 00:33:28 > 
< 00:33:29 > 
< 00:33:30 > 
< 00:33:31 > M: We're here to offer you a free Watchtower, ma'am.
< 00:33:32 > 
< 00:33:33 > 
< 00:33:34 > 
< 00:33:35 > 
< 00:33:36 > 
< 00:33:37 > 
< 00:33:38 > T: Stare into this little red light, please.
< 00:33:39 > 
< 00:33:40 > 
< 00:33:41 > 
< 00:33:42 > 

< 00:33:43 > 
< 00:33:44 > 
< 00:33:45 > 
< 00:33:46 > 
< 00:33:47 > M: Kinda hoped you'd be hotter.
< 00:33:48 > 
< 00:33:49 > 
< 00:33:50 > 
< 00:33:51 > 
< 00:33:52 > 
< 00:33:53 > 
< 00:33:54 > 
< 00:33:55 > 
< 00:33:56 > 
< 00:33:57 > 

< 00:33:58 > 
< 00:33:59 > M: Hey, she taught Miss Cleo everything she knows.
< 00:34:00 > 
< 00:34:01 > 
< 00:34:02 > 
< 00:34:03 > 
< 00:34:04 > 
< 00:34:05 > 
< 00:34:06 > 
< 00:34:07 > T: I didn't have exact change for the bus.
< 00:34:08 > 
< 00:34:09 > 
< 00:34:10 > 
< 00:34:11 > 
< 00:34:12 > M: Here's JOHNNY!

< 00:34:13 > 
< 00:34:14 > 

< 00:34:15 > 
< 00:34:16 > 
< 00:34:17 > 
< 00:34:18 > 
< 00:34:19 > 
< 00:34:20 > 
< 00:34:21 > 
< 00:34:22 > 
< 00:34:23 > 
< 00:34:24 > 
< 00:34:25 > T: This was really deep conversation.  TWO MOVIES AGO!
< 00:34:26 > 
< 00:34:27 > 
< 00:34:28 > 
< 00:34:29 > 
< 00:34:30 > 
< 00:34:31 > 
< 00:34:32 > 
< 00:34:33 > 
< 00:34:34 > M: I crack us up!
< 00:34:35 > 
< 00:34:36 > 
< 00:34:37 > 
< 00:34:38 > 
< 00:34:39 > 
< 00:34:40 > 
< 00:34:41 > 
< 00:34:42 > 
< 00:34:43 > 
< 00:34:44 > 
< 00:34:45 > 
< 00:34:46 > M: Wow, even The Oracle's bored of all this talking.
< 00:34:47 > 
< 00:34:48 > 
< 00:34:49 > 
< 00:34:50 > 
< 00:34:51 > 
< 00:34:52 > 
< 00:34:53 > 

< 00:34:54 > 
< 00:34:55 > 
< 00:34:56 > 
< 00:34:57 > 

< 00:34:58 > M: Whoa!  Computer dust devil!
< 00:34:59 > 
< 00:35:00 > 
< 00:35:01 > T: Heh, this movie blows.  Get it?
< 00:35:02 > 
< 00:35:03 > 
< 00:35:04 > 
< 00:35:05 > 
< 00:35:06 > 
< 00:35:07 > 
< 00:35:08 > M: Whew, that was a rough one.
< 00:35:09 > 
< 00:35:10 > 
< 00:35:11 > 
< 00:35:12 > 
< 00:35:13 > 
< 00:35:14 > 
< 00:35:15 > 
< 00:35:16 > 
< 00:35:17 > 
< 00:35:18 > T: Wow, you know, it's actually a lot easier to see without these!
< 00:35:19 > 
< 00:35:20 > 
< 00:35:21 > 
< 00:35:22 > 
< 00:35:23 > 
< 00:35:24 > 
< 00:35:25 > 
< 00:35:26 > T: Huhuh now I get it, the Pope & Carmen Electra!
< 00:35:27 > 
< 00:35:28 > 
< 00:35:29 > M: It's always great when you can work in a good ol' Ming the Merciless maniacal laugh.
< 00:35:30 > 
< 00:35:31 > 
< 00:35:32 > 
< 00:35:33 > T: *KAFF KAFF* eeew black lung.
< 00:35:34 > 
< 00:35:35 > 
< 00:35:36 > 
< 00:35:37 > 
< 00:35:38 > 
< 00:35:39 > 
< 00:35:40 > M: I just killed them all and I woke up here.
< 00:35:41 > 
< 00:35:42 > Both: We instantly believe you.
< 00:35:43 > 
< 00:35:44 > 
< 00:35:45 > 
< 00:35:46 > 
< 00:35:47 > 
< 00:35:48 > T: Uh, would you buy “Stigmata?”
< 00:35:49 > 
< 00:35:50 > 
< 00:35:51 > 
< 00:35:52 > 
< 00:35:53 > 
< 00:35:54 > 


< 00:35:55 > T: Looks like I’m nuttier than a PayDay bar.
< 00:35:56 > 
< 00:35:57 > 
< 00:35:58 > 
< 00:35:59 > M: Maybe my cat did it.
< 00:36:00 > T: Yeah, I’d actually buy that.
< 00:36:01 > 
< 00:36:02 > 
< 00:36:03 > 
< 00:36:04 > 
< 00:36:05 > 
< 00:36:06 > 
< 00:36:07 > 
< 00:36:08 > 
< 00:36:09 > 
< 00:36:10 > M: *sing Who Are You theme from CSI*
< 00:36:11 > 
< 00:36:12 > 
< 00:36:13 > T: UGGGH I hate you…
< 00:36:14 > 
< 00:36:15 > 
< 00:36:16 > 

< 00:36:17 > 
< 00:36:18 > 
< 00:36:19 > M: Has he been tested for the *cuckoo!  cuckoo!*
< 00:36:20 > 
< 00:36:21 > 
< 00:36:22 > 
< 00:36:23 > 
< 00:36:24 > 
< 00:36:25 > 
< 00:36:26 > 
< 00:36:27 > 
< 00:36:28 > 
< 00:36:29 > T: Hmmm yes, technobabble, tell me more.
< 00:36:30 > 
< 00:36:31 > 
< 00:36:32 > 
< 00:36:33 > 
< 00:36:34 > M: Try tickle torture!
< 00:36:35 > 
< 00:36:36 > 
< 00:36:37 > T: You’re the only one who loves me, Hand.  And you love me a LOT…
< 00:36:38 > 
< 00:36:39 > M: *like a medicine commercial* Are you troubled by constipation?  Sexual dysfunction?
< 00:36:40 > 
< 00:36:41 > 
< 00:36:42 > 
< 00:36:43 > T: Oh my god, this turd is going to be legendary…
< 00:36:44 > 
< 00:36:45 > 

< 00:36:46 > 
< 00:36:47 > 
< 00:36:48 > 
< 00:36:49 > M: Oh no!  He changed movies on us!  We’re watching Hackers!
< 00:36:50 > 
< 00:36:51 > 
< 00:36:52 > T: *fart* uggggh!
< 00:36:53 > 
< 00:36:54 > 
< 00:36:55 > 
< 00:36:56 > 
< 00:36:57 > 
< 00:36:58 > M: No, the Logos.
< 00:36:59 > 
< 00:37:00 > 
< 00:37:01 > M: Goddamn it!
< 00:37:02 > 
< 00:37:03 > 
< 00:37:04 > 
< 00:37:05 > 
< 00:37:06 > T: These are the voyages of the S.S. Tetanus.
< 00:37:07 > 
< 00:37:08 > 
< 00:37:09 > 
< 00:37:10 > 
< 00:37:11 > 
< 00:37:12 > M: Party lights on.
< 00:37:13 > 
< 00:37:14 > 
< 00:37:15 > 
< 00:37:16 > 
< 00:37:17 > T: It’s a good thing there are all these twisting pipe-filled passageways without any apparent function or purpose around beneath the earth.
< 00:37:18 > 
< 00:37:19 > 
< 00:37:20 > 
< 00:37:21 > 
< 00:37:22 > M: Would you quit playing Zaxxon and drive the ship?
< 00:37:23 > 
< 00:37:24 > 
< 00:37:25 > 
< 00:37:26 > 
< 00:37:27 > T: Ugh I hate people who slow down to watch accidents.
< 00:37:28 > 
< 00:37:29 > 
< 00:37:30 > 
< 00:37:31 > 
< 00:37:32 > 
< 00:37:33 > 
< 00:37:34 > M: *as Russel Crowe* We can’t negotiate unless we have Proof of Life.

< 00:37:35 > 
< 00:37:36 > 
< 00:37:37 > 
< 00:37:38 > 
< 00:37:39 > T: No, it’s not alive.
< 00:37:40 > 
< 00:37:41 > 
< 00:37:42 > 
< 00:37:43 > M: Goddamnit!
< 00:37:44 > 
< 00:37:45 > 
< 00:37:46 > 
< 00:37:47 > 
< 00:37:48 > T: And they land right on her.
< 00:37:49 > 
< 00:37:50 > 
< 00:37:51 > 
< 00:37:52 > 
< 00:37:53 > 

< 00:37:54 > M: *as C-3P0* Sir, it’s quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable.
< 00:37:55 > 
< 00:37:56 > 
< 00:37:57 > 
< 00:37:58 > 
< 00:37:59 > T: Chewie—I mean Morpheus, you’re with me.
< 00:38:00 > M: I wish I had more lines.
< 00:38:01 > 
< 00:38:02 > 
< 00:38:03 > T: Whoa, eerie memories of Ben Affleck in “Armageddon” all of a sudden.
< 00:38:04 > M: American parts, Soviet parts, all made in Taiwan!
< 00:38:05 > 
< 00:38:06 > 
< 00:38:07 > 
< 00:38:08 > 
< 00:38:09 > 
< 00:38:10 > 
< 00:38:11 > M: OK, everyone remember where we parked.
< 00:38:12 > 
< 00:38:13 > 
< 00:38:14 > T: Dude, I don’t think she pasted herself to the side of your ship.  Dumbass.
< 00:38:15 > 
< 00:38:16 > 
< 00:38:17 > 
< 00:38:18 > M: Lots of gopher holes down here!
< 00:38:19 > 
< 00:38:20 > 
< 00:38:21 > 
< 00:38:22 > 
< 00:38:23 > 
< 00:38:24 > T: *Morpheus* Why won’t they let me say anything?  I’m a good actor.  I had such good lines before.
< 00:38:25 > 
< 00:38:26 > 
< 00:38:27 > M: Aw man, bruthas always get killed in sci-fi movies like this…
< 00:38:28 > 
< 00:38:29 > 
< 00:38:30 > 
< 00:38:31 > T: Robots with tentacles.  Oh goodie, I bet there’s a whole group of sick anime fanboys jumping all over this one.
< 00:38:32 > 
< 00:38:33 > 
< 00:38:34 > 
< 00:38:35 > 
< 00:38:36 > 
< 00:38:37 > 
< 00:38:38 > M: Hey, they got cable.
< 00:38:39 > 
< 00:38:40 > T: I dunno, there’s something just fascinating up there.  Can’t stop looking at it.
< 00:38:41 > 
< 00:38:42 > 
< 00:38:43 > 
< 00:38:44 > M: Yep, just like I thought.  Mynocks.  Chewin’ on the power cables.
< 00:38:45 > 
< 00:38:46 > 
< 00:38:47 > T: I didn’t do it!
< 00:38:48 > 
< 00:38:49 > 
< 00:38:50 > 
< 00:38:51 > 
< 00:38:52 > 
< 00:38:53 > 
< 00:38:54 > 
< 00:38:55 > T: I bet she does!
< 00:38:56 > M: Calm down.
< 00:38:57 > 
< 00:38:58 > 
< 00:38:59 > 
< 00:39:00 > 
< 00:39:01 > M: Uhm…that’s my only line.
< 00:39:02 > 
< 00:39:03 > 
< 00:39:04 > 
< 00:39:05 > 
< 00:39:06 > 
< 00:39:07 > T: Beat.  Beat.  Beat.  Beat.
< 00:39:08 > 
< 00:39:09 > 
< 00:39:10 > 
< 00:39:11 > 
< 00:39:12 > 
< 00:39:13 > 
< 00:39:14 > 
< 00:39:15 > 
< 00:39:16 > 
< 00:39:17 > 

< 00:39:18 > 
< 00:39:19 > M: Uhhhh…so uh, how are things with you and Ron?


< 00:39:20 > 
< 00:39:21 > 
< 00:39:22 > 
< 00:39:23 > 
< 00:39:24 > 
< 00:39:25 > 
< 00:39:26 > M: A lot of stuff about why she looks different.  Nothing useful.
< 00:39:27 > 
< 00:39:28 > 
< 00:39:29 > 
< 00:39:30 > 
< 00:39:31 > 
< 00:39:32 > 
< 00:39:33 > T: She told you to seek better scripts?
< 00:39:34 > 
< 00:39:35 > 
< 00:39:36 > 
< 00:39:37 > 
< 00:39:38 > 
< 00:39:39 > 
< 00:39:40 > 
< 00:39:41 > 
< 00:39:42 > 
< 00:39:43 > 
< 00:39:44 > M: Ey mon, don’t worry be happy!
< 00:39:45 > T: No problam!
< 00:39:46 > 
< 00:39:47 > 
< 00:39:48 > 
< 00:39:49 > 
< 00:39:50 > 
< 00:39:51 > 
< 00:39:52 > 
< 00:39:53 > 
< 00:39:54 > M: Our best war clichés are being prepared for the assault.
< 00:39:55 > 
< 00:39:56 > 
< 00:39:57 > 
< 00:39:58 > 
< 00:39:59 > 
< 00:40:00 > T: He said “mount” huh huh.
< 00:40:01 > 
< 00:40:02 > 
< 00:40:03 > 
< 00:40:04 > M: Where they’ll kill us in single file.
< 00:40:05 > 
< 00:40:06 > 
< 00:40:07 > 
< 00:40:08 > 
< 00:40:09 > 
< 00:40:10 > 
< 00:40:11 > 
< 00:40:12 > 
< 00:40:13 > 
< 00:40:14 > 
< 00:40:15 > 
< 00:40:16 > T: Anyone stupid enough to go, really.
< 00:40:17 > 
< 00:40:18 > 
< 00:40:19 > 
< 00:40:20 > 
< 00:40:21 > 
< 00:40:22 > 
< 00:40:23 > 
< 00:40:24 > 
< 00:40:25 > 
< 00:40:26 > 
< 00:40:27 > 
< 00:40:28 > 
< 00:40:29 > 
< 00:40:30 > 
< 00:40:31 > 
< 00:40:32 > 
< 00:40:33 > 

< 00:40:34 > 
< 00:40:35 > 

< 00:40:36 > T: What does this have to do with your parking tickets?
< 00:40:37 > 
< 00:40:38 > 
< 00:40:39 > 
< 00:40:40 > 
< 00:40:41 > 
< 00:40:42 > M: Not only is this another talking scene, it’s a political talking scene.  I thought you said these Matrix movies were cool.
< 00:40:43 > 
< 00:40:44 > 
< 00:40:45 > 
< 00:40:46 > 
< 00:40:47 > 
< 00:40:48 > 
< 00:40:49 > 
< 00:40:50 > 
< 00:40:51 > 
< 00:40:52 > T: Can you imagine how much frayed knitwork is down there?  It's incalculable.
< 00:40:53 > 
< 00:40:54 > 
< 00:40:55 > 
< 00:40:56 > 
< 00:40:57 > M: Oh good, the kids should be around the high explosives.
< 00:40:58 > 
< 00:40:59 > 
< 00:41:00 > 
< 00:41:01 > 

< 00:41:02 > 
< 00:41:03 > 

< 00:41:04 > 
< 00:41:05 > 
< 00:41:06 > 
< 00:41:07 > 
< 00:41:08 > 
< 00:41:09 > M: I’M NOT!  GOING!  WITH! YOU!
< 00:41:10 > 
< 00:41:11 > 
< 00:41:12 > 
< 00:41:13 > 
< 00:41:14 > 
< 00:41:15 > 
< 00:41:16 > 
< 00:41:17 > 
< 00:41:18 > 

< 00:41:19 > 
< 00:41:20 > T: I will slap the stupid out of you, woman.
< 00:41:21 > 
< 00:41:22 > 
< 00:41:23 > 
< 00:41:24 > 
< 00:41:25 > 
< 00:41:26 > 
< 00:41:27 > 
< 00:41:28 > M: Because we have to work in every war cliché we can.
< 00:41:29 > 
< 00:41:30 > 
< 00:41:31 > 
< 00:41:32 > 
< 00:41:33 > 
< 00:41:34 > 
< 00:41:35 > 
< 00:41:36 > 
< 00:41:37 > T: I will if you keep grabbing my arms while I’m making explosives, idiot.
< 00:41:38 > 
< 00:41:39 > 
< 00:41:40 > 
< 00:41:41 > 
< 00:41:42 > 
< 00:41:43 > 
< 00:41:44 > 
< 00:41:45 > 
< 00:41:46 > 
< 00:41:47 > 
< 00:41:48 > 


< 00:41:49 > M: Invest in war bonds?
< 00:41:50 > 
< 00:41:51 > 
< 00:41:52 > 
< 00:41:53 > 
< 00:41:54 > 
< 00:41:55 > 
< 00:41:56 > 
< 00:41:57 > T: Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s back to the daily grind.
< 00:41:58 > M: Ugggggh.
< 00:41:59 > 


< 00:42:00 > 
< 00:42:01 > 
< 00:42:02 > 
< 00:42:03 > T: Wheelbarrow races!
< 00:42:04 > 
< 00:42:05 > 
< 00:42:06 > 
< 00:42:07 > M: And he wipes out in turn 4.
< 00:42:08 > 
< 00:42:09 > 
< 00:42:10 > 
< 00:42:11 > 
< 00:42:12 > 
< 00:42:13 > M: I been thinking that all movie, bro.
< 00:42:14 > 
< 00:42:15 > 
< 00:42:16 > 
< 00:42:17 > 

< 00:42:18 > 
< 00:42:19 > T: I’m Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate!
< 00:42:20 > 
< 00:42:21 > 
< 00:42:22 > 
< 00:42:23 > 

< 00:42:24 > 
< 00:42:25 > 
< 00:42:26 > 
< 00:42:27 > M: Service guarantees citizenship!
< 00:42:28 > T: Whoa, you just can that Starship Troopers crap right now.
< 00:42:29 > 
< 00:42:30 > 
< 00:42:31 > 
< 00:42:32 > 
< 00:42:33 > 
< 00:42:34 > 
< 00:42:35 > 


< 00:42:36 > 
< 00:42:37 > 
< 00:42:38 > 
< 00:42:39 > 
< 00:42:40 > M: War Cliché #4: Gruff Macho badass war veteran and the rookie kid trying to impress him.
< 00:42:41 > 
< 00:42:42 > 
< 00:42:43 > 
< 00:42:44 > 
< 00:42:45 > 
< 00:42:46 > 
< 00:42:47 > M: Bugs don’t take prisoners.
< 00:42:48 > T: I will rip your metal arms off, boy.
< 00:42:49 > 
< 00:42:50 > 
< 00:42:51 > 
< 00:42:52 > 
< 00:42:53 > M: *Full Metal Jacket* How tall are you, private??
< 00:42:54 > 
< 00:42:55 > 
< 00:42:56 > 
< 00:42:57 > 
< 00:42:58 > 
< 00:42:59 > 
< 00:43:00 > 
< 00:43:01 > T: Down periscope!
< 00:43:02 > 
< 00:43:03 > 
< 00:43:04 > 
< 00:43:05 > M: Radar loooove!
< 00:43:06 > 
< 00:43:07 > 
< 00:43:08 > 
< 00:43:09 > 
< 00:43:10 > T: Two dollars a gallon my ass.
< 00:43:11 > 
< 00:43:12 > 
< 00:43:13 > 
< 00:43:14 > T: Establish that lever thingy that will pay off much later in the movie.

< 00:43:15 > 
< 00:43:16 > 

< 00:43:17 > 
< 00:43:18 > 
< 00:43:19 > M: WHOA WHOA TURN IT OFF!
< 00:43:20 > 
< 00:43:21 > 
< 00:43:22 > 
< 00:43:23 > 
< 00:43:24 > 
< 00:43:25 > 
< 00:43:26 > 
< 00:43:27 > M: Don’t need help.  Jump up my butt!  
< 00:43:28 > 
< 00:43:29 > 
< 00:43:30 > T: Awfully hostile attitude towards someone trying to help.  “Yeah, thanks, and wash my windows, bitch!” Cha cha.
< 00:43:31 > 
< 00:43:32 > 
< 00:43:33 > 
< 00:43:34 > 
< 00:43:35 > 
< 00:43:36 > 
< 00:43:37 > 
< 00:43:38 > 
< 00:43:39 > 
< 00:43:40 > M: Ah crap, I need to download the latest video drivers again.
< 00:43:41 > 
< 00:43:42 > 
< 00:43:43 > T: Yeah.  There’s something much more interesting going on in there.
< 00:43:44 > 
< 00:43:45 > 
< 00:43:46 > 
< 00:43:47 > 
< 00:43:48 > 
< 00:43:49 > 
< 00:43:50 > 
< 00:43:51 > 
< 00:43:52 > 
< 00:43:53 > 
< 00:43:54 > 
< 00:43:55 > 
< 00:43:56 > 
< 00:43:57 > 
< 00:43:58 > T: They’re still talking!! Stop talking!  No more talking!
< 00:43:59 > M: No mas!
< 00:44:00 > T: Pas plus!
< 00:44:01 > M: Nicht mehr! 
< 00:44:02 > T: I hate this movie!
< 00:44:03 > 
< 00:44:04 > 
< 00:44:05 > 
< 00:44:06 > 
< 00:44:07 > 
< 00:44:08 > T: And why are we doing that, exactly?
< 00:44:09 > 
< 00:44:10 > 
< 00:44:11 > 
< 00:44:12 > 
< 00:44:13 > 
< 00:44:14 > 
< 00:44:15 > M: Let’s call Will.  He’s great at killing robots.
< 00:44:16 > 
< 00:44:17 > 
< 00:44:18 > 
< 00:44:19 > 
< 00:44:20 > 
< 00:44:21 > 
< 00:44:22 > 
< 00:44:23 > 
< 00:44:24 > 
< 00:44:25 > T: Damn I wish I had some lines.
< 00:44:26 > 
< 00:44:27 > 
< 00:44:28 > 
< 00:44:29 > 
< 00:44:30 > 
< 00:44:31 > 
< 00:44:32 > 
< 00:44:33 > M: Oh naturally.  Right.  Pardon me.
< 00:44:34 > 
< 00:44:35 > 
< 00:44:36 > 
< 00:44:37 > T: My god he CAN talk!
< 00:44:38 > 
< 00:44:39 > 
< 00:44:40 > 
< 00:44:41 > 
< 00:44:42 > 
< 00:44:43 > 
< 00:44:44 > M: Uhhhh, I wet the bed…
< 00:44:45 > 
< 00:44:46 > 
< 00:44:47 > 
< 00:44:48 > 
< 00:44:49 > 
< 00:44:50 > 
< 00:44:51 > 
< 00:44:52 > 
< 00:44:53 > T: But we need more talking and planning scenes to pad the movie out.
< 00:44:54 > 
< 00:44:55 > 
< 00:44:56 > 
< 00:44:57 > 
< 00:44:58 > 
< 00:44:59 > 
< 00:45:00 > 
< 00:45:01 > 
< 00:45:02 > 
< 00:45:03 > M: I want to be a woman.
< 00:45:04 > 
< 00:45:05 > 
< 00:45:06 > M: Oh god.  I HAVE!  TO TAKE!  A SHIP!
< 00:45:07 > 
< 00:45:08 > 
< 00:45:09 > 
< 00:45:10 > 
< 00:45:11 > T: Take me down to the Big Machine City…
< 00:45:12 > 
< 00:45:13 > 
< 00:45:14 > 
< 00:45:15 > 
< 00:45:16 > 
< 00:45:17 > T: But it’s my body, and you can’t stop me.
< 00:45:18 > 
< 00:45:19 > 
< 00:45:20 > M: He says “Goddamn” a lot.
< 00:45:21 > 
< 00:45:22 > 
< 00:45:23 > 
< 00:45:24 > 
< 00:45:25 > 
< 00:45:26 > 

< 00:45:27 > T: Seems like these people are just written in the script solely to be the stubborn irrational voices of opposition.
< 00:45:28 > 
< 00:45:29 > 
< 00:45:30 > 
< 00:45:31 > 
< 00:45:32 > 
< 00:45:33 > 
< 00:45:34 > 

< 00:45:35 > 
< 00:45:36 > 
< 00:45:37 > M: Commander Goddamn has spoken!
< 00:45:38 > 
< 00:45:39 > 
< 00:45:40 > 
< 00:45:41 > 
< 00:45:42 > 
< 00:45:43 > M: I’m in command of over 500 people on this ship…
< 00:45:44 > 
< 00:45:45 > 
< 00:45:46 > 
< 00:45:47 > 
< 00:45:48 > 
< 00:45:49 > 
< 00:45:50 > T: Oh thanks!  But is it a stick?  I never learned to drive one of those.
< 00:45:51 > 
< 00:45:52 > 
< 00:45:53 > 
< 00:45:54 > 
< 00:45:55 > 
< 00:45:56 > 
< 00:45:57 > 
< 00:45:58 > 
< 00:45:59 > 
< 00:46:00 > 
< 00:46:01 > M: Goddamn it Niobe!
< 00:46:02 > 
< 00:46:03 > 
< 00:46:04 > 
< 00:46:05 > 
< 00:46:06 > 
< 00:46:07 > 
< 00:46:08 > T: But!  But!  I have a penis!  You’re supposed to listen to me!
< 00:46:09 > 
< 00:46:10 > 
< 00:46:11 > 
< 00:46:12 > M: I paid for gas, Niobe.
< 00:46:13 > 
< 00:46:14 > T: Goddamn it.
< 00:46:15 > 
< 00:46:16 > M: So uh, do you have the keys, most bodacious babe?
< 00:46:17 > 
< 00:46:18 > T: *as screenwriter* Morpheus casts a look at Neo.  But says nothing.
< 00:46:19 > 
< 00:46:20 > 
< 00:46:21 > 
< 00:46:22 > 
< 00:46:23 > 
< 00:46:24 > 
< 00:46:25 > 
< 00:46:26 > M: *Chewbacca growl*
< 00:46:27 > 
< 00:46:28 > 
< 00:46:29 > 
< 00:46:30 > 
< 00:46:31 > 
< 00:46:32 > 
< 00:46:33 > 
< 00:46:34 > 
< 00:46:35 > T: Station!
< 00:46:36 > 
< 00:46:37 > 
< 00:46:38 > M: And Morpheus once again fades into the background never to be heard from again.
< 00:46:39 > 
< 00:46:40 > T: Ah, at last a glimpse into the writing process of this movie.
< 00:46:41 > 
< 00:46:42 > 

< 00:46:43 > 
< 00:46:44 > 
< 00:46:45 > 
< 00:46:46 > 
< 00:46:47 > 
< 00:46:48 > 
< 00:46:49 > M: Should I drop my pants?
< 00:46:50 > 
< 00:46:51 > 
< 00:46:52 > T: What if I wanted out of this movie?

< 00:46:53 > 
< 00:46:54 > 
< 00:46:55 > 
< 00:46:56 > 
< 00:46:57 > 
< 00:46:58 > M: Why, that would make me evil.
< 00:46:59 > 
< 00:47:00 > 
< 00:47:01 > 
< 00:47:02 > 
< 00:47:03 > 
< 00:47:04 > 
< 00:47:05 > 
< 00:47:06 > T: What if I rode a tank in the general’s rank while the blitzkrieg rained and the bodies stank?
< 00:47:07 > 
< 00:47:08 > 
< 00:47:09 > 
< 00:47:10 > 
< 00:47:11 > 
< 00:47:12 > 
< 00:47:13 > 
< 00:47:14 > M: MWA HA HA HA HA!
< 00:47:15 > 
< 00:47:16 > 
< 00:47:17 > 
< 00:47:18 > 
< 00:47:19 > 
< 00:47:20 > T: You must admit, nobody could have seen this coming.
< 00:47:21 > 
< 00:47:22 > 
< 00:47:23 > 
< 00:47:24 > T: Forced appendectomy.
< 00:47:25 > 
< 00:47:26 > 
< 00:47:27 > 
< 00:47:28 > 
< 00:47:29 > M: She really is about as smart as a box of hair.
< 00:47:30 > 
< 00:47:31 > T: Nobody knows who I am so I die immediately ugggggh!
< 00:47:32 > 
< 00:47:33 > 


< 00:47:34 > 
< 00:47:35 > M: Do you ever knock?  I mean I could have been nude dude!
< 00:47:36 > 
< 00:47:37 > 
< 00:47:38 > 
< 00:47:39 > T: Yah I was just packing my Iron Maiden CDs.
< 00:47:40 > M: Iron Maiden?
< 00:47:41 > *EXCELLENT!*
< 00:47:42 > 
< 00:47:43 > 
< 00:47:44 > 
< 00:47:45 > 
< 00:47:46 > T: I’m sorry I was in Johnny Mnemonic.
< 00:47:47 > 
< 00:47:48 > 
< 00:47:49 > 
< 00:47:50 > 
< 00:47:51 > M: I know kung fu.
< 00:47:52 > 
< 00:47:53 > 
< 00:47:54 > 
< 00:47:55 > 
< 00:47:56 > T: I just can’t when people are watching.
< 00:47:57 > 
< 00:47:58 > 
< 00:47:59 > 
< 00:48:00 > 

< 00:48:01 > 
< 00:48:02 > M: Well when you’re done, you tear off some toilet paper…
< 00:48:03 > 
< 00:48:04 > 
< 00:48:05 > 
< 00:48:06 > T: Well I’ve gotta be in Constantine and stuff…
< 00:48:07 > 
< 00:48:08 > 
< 00:48:09 > 
< 00:48:10 > 
< 00:48:11 > 
< 00:48:12 > M: Let’s talk all about it for hours.
< 00:48:13 > 
< 00:48:14 > 
< 00:48:15 > 
< 00:48:16 > 
< 00:48:17 > 

< 00:48:18 > 
< 00:48:19 > T: His brain’s trying to process the information but the bus speed is just too slow.
< 00:48:20 > 
< 00:48:21 > 
< 00:48:22 > 
< 00:48:23 > 
< 00:48:24 > 
< 00:48:25 > 
< 00:48:26 > 
< 00:48:27 > 
< 00:48:28 > T: Scenes like this are what a cutting room floor was invented for.
< 00:48:29 > 
< 00:48:30 > 
< 00:48:31 > 
< 00:48:32 > 
< 00:48:33 > 
< 00:48:34 > 
< 00:48:35 > 
< 00:48:36 > 
< 00:48:37 > 
< 00:48:38 > M: Yeah, I know.  WE HEARD IT.
< 00:48:39 > 
< 00:48:40 > 
< 00:48:41 > 
< 00:48:42 > 
< 00:48:43 > M: uhhhh your underwear?
< 00:48:44 > 
< 00:48:45 > 
< 00:48:46 > T: She’s right.  Nothing’s changed this whole movie.
< 00:48:47 > 
< 00:48:48 > 
< 00:48:49 > 
< 00:48:50 > M: You humans might actually have something with this “love being the ultimate weapon” thing.  Wielded like this, it’s sure to bore the machines to death.
< 00:48:51 > 
< 00:48:52 > 
< 00:48:53 > 
< 00:48:54 > 
< 00:48:55 > 
< 00:48:56 > 
< 00:48:57 > 
< 00:48:58 > T: You really have to admire the art design for this movie.  Drab gray clothes on drab gray walls in a drab gray world, surrounded by drab gray machines.
< 00:48:59 > 
< 00:49:00 > 
< 00:49:01 > 
< 00:49:02 > 
< 00:49:03 > 
< 00:49:04 > 
< 00:49:05 > M: Prepare the fuzzy dice.
< 00:49:06 > 
< 00:49:07 > 
< 00:49:08 > 
< 00:49:09 > 
< 00:49:10 > 
< 00:49:11 > 
< 00:49:12 > 
< 00:49:13 > T: Can I have your mp3 player when you die?
< 00:49:14 > 
< 00:49:15 > 
< 00:49:16 > 
< 00:49:17 > 
< 00:49:18 > 
< 00:49:19 > 
< 00:49:20 > 
< 00:49:21 > 
< 00:49:22 > M: Party on, Morpheus!

< 00:49:23 > 
< 00:49:24 > 
< 00:49:25 > 
< 00:49:26 > 
< 00:49:27 > T: Whoa yeah, I hadn’t thought about that.
< 00:49:28 > 
< 00:49:29 > 
< 00:49:30 > M: Kiss me Neo.
< 00:49:31 > 
< 00:49:32 > 
< 00:49:33 > 
< 00:49:34 > 
< 00:49:35 > 
< 00:49:36 > T: You damn right it was, twerp.  I’m Morpheus.
< 00:49:37 > 
< 00:49:38 > 
< 00:49:39 > 
< 00:49:40 > 
< 00:49:41 > 
< 00:49:42 > 
< 00:49:43 > M: I wonder where they get all the frayed sweaters.  There’s no sun, so there’s no source of fibers for the clothes.  The boots, too, where’s the leather come from?
< 00:49:44 > T: The Force?
< 00:49:45 > 
< 00:49:46 > 
< 00:49:47 > 
< 00:49:48 > 
< 00:49:49 > 
< 00:49:50 > 
< 00:49:51 > 
< 00:49:52 > 
< 00:49:53 > 
< 00:49:54 > 
< 00:49:55 > 
< 00:49:56 > 
< 00:49:57 > M: No no, about *goddamn* time.
< 00:49:58 > 
< 00:49:59 > 
< 00:50:00 > 
< 00:50:01 > 
< 00:50:02 > 
< 00:50:03 > 
< 00:50:04 >M: Oh no, incoming Star Wars reference. 
< 00:50:05 > 
< 00:50:06 > 
< 00:50:07 > 
< 00:50:08 > T: I dunno, I just got this feeling.  Like I’m not gonna see her again.
< 00:50:09 > 
< 00:50:10 > 
< 00:50:11 > 
< 00:50:12 > 
< 00:50:13 > 
< 00:50:14 > T: *backing up sound*
< 00:50:15 > M: *CRASH*
< 00:50:16 > 
< 00:50:17 > 
< 00:50:18 > 
< 00:50:19 > 
< 00:50:20 > 
< 00:50:21 > 
< 00:50:22 > 
< 00:50:23 > T: Huh huh “Keep honking, I’m reloading,” I love that bumper sticker.
< 00:50:24 > 
< 00:50:25 > 
< 00:50:26 > 
< 00:50:27 > 
< 00:50:28 > M: Hey I never said goodbye to that nice redhead lady.  Wonder where she went.
< 00:50:29 > 
< 00:50:30 > 
< 00:50:31 > 
< 00:50:32 > 
< 00:50:33 > M: You mean we’re actually gonna do something?  Whoa.
< 00:50:34 > 
< 00:50:35 > 
< 00:50:36 > 
< 00:50:37 > 
< 00:50:38 > 
< 00:50:39 > T: Now look what you did, you broke it dumbass.
< 00:50:40 > 
< 00:50:41 > 
< 00:50:42 > 
< 00:50:43 > 
< 00:50:44 > 
< 00:50:45 > 
< 00:50:46 > M: Oh yeah, I was microwaving a burrito in the other room.  Sorry.
< 00:50:47 > 
< 00:50:48 > 
< 00:50:49 > 
< 00:50:50 > 
< 00:50:51 > 
< 00:50:52 > 
< 00:50:53 > 
< 00:50:54 > T: The starship Enterprise never had to deal with crap like this.
< 00:50:55 > 
< 00:50:56 > 
< 00:50:57 > 
< 00:50:58 > 
< 00:50:59 > 
< 00:51:00 > 
< 00:51:01 > T: Splinter Cell!
< 00:51:02 > 
< 00:51:03 > 
< 00:51:04 > 
< 00:51:05 > 
< 00:51:06 > 
< 00:51:07 > 
< 00:51:08 > 
< 00:51:09 > 
< 00:51:10 > 
< 00:51:11 > 
< 00:51:12 > 

< 00:51:13 > 
< 00:51:14 > 
< 00:51:15 > 
< 00:51:16 > 
< 00:51:17 > 
< 00:51:18 > 
< 00:51:19 > M: Is that WD-40 you’re wearing?
< 00:51:20 > 
< 00:51:21 > 
< 00:51:22 > 
< 00:51:23 > 
< 00:51:24 > 
< 00:51:25 > 
< 00:51:26 > T: Well just do it already, sheesh.  You always gotta talk about these things like some Bond villain.
< 00:51:27 > 
< 00:51:28 > 
< 00:51:29 > 
< 00:51:30 > 
< 00:51:31 > 
< 00:51:32 > T: No means NO!!
< 00:51:33 > 
< 00:51:34 > 
< 00:51:35 > M: See? Wasted his time jawin’ at her.
< 00:51:36 > 
< 00:51:37 > 
< 00:51:38 > 
< 00:51:39 > 
< 00:51:40 > 
< 00:51:41 > 
< 00:51:42 > M: Huh huh, he totally got his ass kicked by a girl.
< 00:51:43 > 
< 00:51:44 > 
< 00:51:45 > 
< 00:51:46 > 
< 00:51:47 > M: Look familiar?
< 00:51:48 > T: Shut up!
< 00:51:49 > 
< 00:51:50 > 
< 00:51:51 > 

< 00:51:52 > 
< 00:51:53 > 
< 00:51:54 > 
< 00:51:55 > M: We’re out of coffee.
< 00:51:56 > 

< 00:51:57 > 
< 00:51:58 > 
< 00:51:59 > 
< 00:52:00 > T: Goddamnit.  Wait, who’s Maggie?
< 00:52:01 > 
< 00:52:02 > 
< 00:52:03 > M: Tonight on CSI: Matrix.
< 00:52:04 > 
< 00:52:05 > 
< 00:52:06 > 
< 00:52:07 > T: Guess we should have watched the raving lunatic or something.
< 00:52:08 > 
< 00:52:09 > 
< 00:52:10 > 
< 00:52:11 > M: How many “goddamn”s is it for this guy?
< 00:52:12 > 
< 00:52:13 > 
< 00:52:14 > 
< 00:52:15 > 
< 00:52:16 > T: Oh!  Problem solved, I guess.
< 00:52:17 > 
< 00:52:18 > 
< 00:52:19 > 
< 00:52:20 > 
< 00:52:21 > 
< 00:52:22 > 
< 00:52:23 > 


< 00:52:24 > 

< 00:52:25 > 
< 00:52:26 > 
< 00:52:27 > 
< 00:52:28 > 
< 00:52:29 > 
< 00:52:30 > T: Ever hear of a radio, geniuses?
< 00:52:31 > 
< 00:52:32 > 
< 00:52:33 > 
< 00:52:34 > 
< 00:52:35 > 
< 00:52:36 > M: Uhhh get away from her, you bitch?
< 00:52:37 > 
< 00:52:38 > 
< 00:52:39 > T: uhh?
< 00:52:40 > 
< 00:52:41 > 
< 00:52:42 > 
< 00:52:43 > 
< 00:52:44 > M: Whu?
< 00:52:45 > 

< 00:52:46 > 
< 00:52:47 > 
< 00:52:48 > 
< 00:52:49 > 
< 00:52:50 > 
< 00:52:51 > T: Still not getting it...
< 00:52:52 > 
< 00:52:53 > 
< 00:52:54 > 
< 00:52:55 > 
< 00:52:56 > 
< 00:52:57 > 
< 00:52:58 > 
< 00:52:59 > 
< 00:53:00 > 
< 00:53:01 > M: I…am an FBI…agent.
< 00:53:02 > 
< 00:53:03 > 
< 00:53:04 > 
< 00:53:05 > 
< 00:53:06 > 
< 00:53:07 > 
< 00:53:08 > T: Pop quiz, I got a gun aimed at your head, whaddo you do?
< 00:53:09 > 
< 00:53:10 > 
< 00:53:11 > 
< 00:53:12 > 
< 00:53:13 > 
< 00:53:14 > T: Hey look her throat’s bloody.
< 00:53:15 > 
< 00:53:16 > 
< 00:53:17 > 
< 00:53:18 > 
< 00:53:19 > T: Whoops, guess I was mistaken.
< 00:53:20 > 
< 00:53:21 > 
< 00:53:22 > 
< 00:53:23 > 
< 00:53:24 > 
< 00:53:25 > T: Oh now it is again.
< 00:53:26 > 
< 00:53:27 > 
< 00:53:28 > 
< 00:53:29 > 
< 00:53:30 > 
< 00:53:31 > T: Oh now it’s not.
< 00:53:32 > 
< 00:53:33 > 
< 00:53:34 > 
< 00:53:35 > 
< 00:53:36 > 
< 00:53:37 > 
< 00:53:38 > T: Bloody.
< 00:53:39 > M: Oh, ok.  Here you go.
< 00:53:40 > 
< 00:53:41 > 
< 00:53:42 > 
< 00:53:43 > 
< 00:53:44 > 
< 00:53:45 > 
< 00:53:46 > 

< 00:53:47 > M: Stick your finger in the barrel like Bugs Bunny.
< 00:53:48 > 
< 00:53:49 > 
< 00:53:50 > 
< 00:53:51 > 
< 00:53:52 > 
< 00:53:53 > 
< 00:53:54 > 
< 00:53:55 > 
< 00:53:56 > 
< 00:53:57 > 
< 00:53:58 > 
< 00:53:59 > 
< 00:54:00 > 
< 00:54:01 > 
< 00:54:02 > 
< 00:54:03 > T: Can’t BELIEVE he didn’t shoot.
< 00:54:04 > 
< 00:54:05 > 
< 00:54:06 > 
< 00:54:07 > 
< 00:54:08 > 
< 00:54:09 > M: After he’s said “Mr. Anderson” and every other familiar phrase they share a half dozen times…
< 00:54:10 > 
< 00:54:11 > 
< 00:54:12 > 
< 00:54:13 > 
< 00:54:14 > 
< 00:54:15 > 
< 00:54:16 > 

< 00:54:17 > 
< 00:54:18 > 
< 00:54:19 > 
< 00:54:20 > 
< 00:54:21 > T: Well that’s why we take showers.
< 00:54:22 > 
< 00:54:23 > 
< 00:54:24 > 
< 00:54:25 > 
< 00:54:26 > 
< 00:54:27 > 
< 00:54:28 > 
< 00:54:29 > 
< 00:54:30 > 
< 00:54:31 > T: But we have love and are thus superior!
< 00:54:32 > 
< 00:54:33 > 
< 00:54:34 > 
< 00:54:35 > 
< 00:54:36 > 
< 00:54:37 > 
< 00:54:38 > 
< 00:54:39 > 
< 00:54:40 > M: A good reuben sandwich?
< 00:54:41 > 
< 00:54:42 > 
< 00:54:43 > 
< 00:54:44 > 
< 00:54:45 > 
< 00:54:46 > 
< 00:54:47 > 
< 00:54:48 > 
< 00:54:49 > 
< 00:54:50 > 
< 00:54:51 > 
< 00:54:52 > 
< 00:54:53 > 
< 00:54:54 > 
< 00:54:55 > M: You…Agent Smith?  OH MY GOD!!  WHAT A SHOCKER!!  NO!!!
< 00:54:56 > 
< 00:54:57 > 
< 00:54:58 > 
< 00:54:59 > 
< 00:55:00 > 
< 00:55:01 > 
< 00:55:02 > 
< 00:55:03 > 
< 00:55:04 > 

< 00:55:05 > 
< 00:55:06 > T: Every breath you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you…
< 00:55:07 > 
< 00:55:08 > 
< 00:55:09 > 
< 00:55:10 > 
< 00:55:11 > 
< 00:55:12 > M: Stop talking and KILL HIM!  Are you stupid or something?  You didn’t learn when Trinity kicked your silly ass?
< 00:55:13 > 
< 00:55:14 > 
< 00:55:15 > 
< 00:55:16 > 
< 00:55:17 > 
< 00:55:18 > 
< 00:55:19 > 
< 00:55:20 > 
< 00:55:21 > 
< 00:55:22 > T: So all the kung-fu goes out the window and they resort to schoolyard brawling tactics.
< 00:55:23 > 
< 00:55:24 > 
< 00:55:25 > 
< 00:55:26 > 
< 00:55:27 > 
< 00:55:28 > 
< 00:55:29 > 
< 00:55:30 > 
< 00:55:31 > 
< 00:55:32 > 

< 00:55:33 > 
< 00:55:34 > 
< 00:55:35 > 
< 00:55:36 > 
< 00:55:37 > M: Wait!  I still haven’t figured out who you are!
< 00:55:38 > 
< 00:55:39 > 
< 00:55:40 > 
< 00:55:41 > T: *star trek fight music*
< 00:55:42 > 
< 00:55:43 > 
< 00:55:44 > 

< 00:55:45 > 
< 00:55:46 > 
< 00:55:47 > 
< 00:55:48 > M: Damn these white boys can’t fight.
< 00:55:49 > 
< 00:55:50 > 
< 00:55:51 > 
< 00:55:52 > 
< 00:55:53 > 
< 00:55:54 > 
< 00:55:55 > 
< 00:55:56 > 
< 00:55:57 > M: Look familiar?
< 00:55:58 > T: Yeah yeah, hey I’m not really complaining.  At least something’s happening at last.
< 00:55:59 > 
< 00:56:00 > 
< 00:56:01 > 
< 00:56:02 > 
< 00:56:03 > 
< 00:56:04 > 
< 00:56:05 > 
< 00:56:06 > M: See, we’re supposed to notice how clever the writers are at working some kind of parallel to Greek tragedies into the movie.
< 00:56:07 > 
< 00:56:08 > 
< 00:56:09 > 
< 00:56:10 > 
< 00:56:11 > 
< 00:56:12 > 
< 00:56:13 > 
< 00:56:14 > 
< 00:56:15 > 
< 00:56:16 > 
< 00:56:17 > 
< 00:56:18 > 
< 00:56:19 > 
< 00:56:20 > 
< 00:56:21 > 
< 00:56:22 > M: He should really stop picking his nose.
< 00:56:23 > 
< 00:56:24 > 
< 00:56:25 > 
< 00:56:26 > T: I slept with my contacts in overnight!
< 00:56:27 > 
< 00:56:28 > 
< 00:56:29 > 
< 00:56:30 > 
< 00:56:31 > 
< 00:56:32 > 
< 00:56:33 > 
< 00:56:34 > M: See, if he’d been wearing his sunglasses all the time like he was supposed to, this would not have happened.
< 00:56:35 > 
< 00:56:36 > 
< 00:56:37 > 
< 00:56:38 > 
< 00:56:39 > 
< 00:56:40 > 
< 00:56:41 > 

< 00:56:42 > 
< 00:56:43 > 
< 00:56:44 > 
< 00:56:45 > 
< 00:56:46 > T: Look just stop taunting me and kill me already.
< 00:56:47 > 
< 00:56:48 > 
< 00:56:49 > 
< 00:56:50 > 
< 00:56:51 > 
< 00:56:52 > 
< 00:56:53 > 
< 00:56:54 > 
< 00:56:55 > 
< 00:56:56 > M: He must get his dialogue from the Mortal Kombat villain book.
< 00:56:57 > 
< 00:56:58 > 
< 00:56:59 > 
< 00:57:00 > 
< 00:57:01 > 
< 00:57:02 > T: I totally went back in time and warned myself you’d do this most heinous thing.
< 00:57:03 > 
< 00:57:04 > 
< 00:57:05 > 
< 00:57:06 > M: Hugo Weaving is hot.
< 00:57:07 > 
< 00:57:08 > 
< 00:57:09 > 
< 00:57:10 > 
< 00:57:11 > M: FORE!
< 00:57:12 > 
< 00:57:13 > 
< 00:57:14 > 
< 00:57:15 > 
< 00:57:16 > 
< 00:57:17 > 
< 00:57:18 > 
< 00:57:19 > 
< 00:57:20 > T: He really lost his head there.
< 00:57:21 > 
< 00:57:22 > 
< 00:57:23 > 
< 00:57:24 > 
< 00:57:25 > 
< 00:57:26 > 
< 00:57:27 > 
< 00:57:28 > 
< 00:57:29 > 
< 00:57:30 > 
< 00:57:31 > 
< 00:57:32 > 
< 00:57:33 > 
< 00:57:34 > T: Oh damn, he’s still alive.
< 00:57:35 > 
< 00:57:36 > 
< 00:57:37 > 
< 00:57:38 > 
< 00:57:39 > 
< 00:57:40 > M: A bee stung me!  Can you get me some ice?
< 00:57:41 > 
< 00:57:42 > 
< 00:57:43 > 
< 00:57:44 > T: Be straight with me, is it noticeable?
< 00:57:45 > 
< 00:57:46 > 
< 00:57:47 > 
< 00:57:48 > 
< 00:57:49 > 
< 00:57:50 > 
< 00:57:51 > 
< 00:57:52 > 
< 00:57:53 > T: Ha ha ha ha! At least we can laugh about it.
< 00:57:54 > 
< 00:57:55 > 
< 00:57:56 > 
< 00:57:57 > 
< 00:57:58 > 
< 00:57:59 > 
< 00:58:00 > M: Lot of pencils up there.
< 00:58:01 > 
< 00:58:02 > 
< 00:58:03 > 
< 00:58:04 > 
< 00:58:05 > 
< 00:58:06 > 
< 00:58:07 > 
< 00:58:08 > 
< 00:58:09 > 
< 00:58:10 > 
< 00:58:11 > 
< 00:58:12 > 
< 00:58:13 > T: Well they’re in a big hole aren’t they?  Why don’t the machines just drop a ton of nerve gas in there and kill them all?  Lots easier.
< 00:58:14 > 
< 00:58:15 > 
< 00:58:16 > 

< 00:58:17 > 
< 00:58:18 > 
< 00:58:19 > 
< 00:58:20 > 
< 00:58:21 > 
< 00:58:22 > M: Ohhhh this should be really good!  We’ve been slow building up to this all movie!
< 00:58:23 > 
< 00:58:24 > 
< 00:58:25 > 
< 00:58:26 > 
< 00:58:27 > 
< 00:58:28 > 
< 00:58:29 > 
< 00:58:30 > 

< 00:58:31 > 
< 00:58:32 > 
< 00:58:33 > T: You know, is it too much to expect of a movie called “The Matrix” to actually take place…
< 00:58:34 > M: In the Matrix?  Yeah.
< 00:58:35 > 
< 00:58:36 > 
< 00:58:37 > 
< 00:58:38 > 
< 00:58:39 > 
< 00:58:40 > 
< 00:58:41 > 
< 00:58:42 > 
< 00:58:43 > T: *as Stallone* Send a maniac to catch a maniac…
< 00:58:44 > 
< 00:58:45 > 
< 00:58:46 > 
< 00:58:47 > 
< 00:58:48 > 
< 00:58:49 > M: *Vrooooooom!*
< 00:58:50 > 
< 00:58:51 > 
< 00:58:52 > 
< 00:58:53 > 
< 00:58:54 > T: Never liked that kid.
< 00:58:55 > 
< 00:58:56 > 
< 00:58:57 > 
< 00:58:58 > 
< 00:58:59 > 
< 00:59:00 > 
< 00:59:01 > 
< 00:59:02 > 
< 00:59:03 > M: How cool would it be if Optimus Prime just came into screen and kicked his ass?
< 00:59:04 > 
< 00:59:05 > 
< 00:59:06 > 
< 00:59:07 > 
< 00:59:08 > 
< 00:59:09 > 
< 00:59:10 > 
< 00:59:11 > 
< 00:59:12 > 
< 00:59:13 > T: Ah, finally, we get to see computer graphics artists masturbate all over the screen.
< 00:59:14 > 
< 00:59:15 > 
< 00:59:16 > 
< 00:59:17 > 
< 00:59:18 > 
< 00:59:19 > 
< 00:59:20 > M: Time for my clichéd badass pre-war speech.
< 00:59:21 > 
< 00:59:22 > 
< 00:59:23 > 
< 00:59:24 > 
< 00:59:25 > 
< 00:59:26 > 
< 00:59:27 > T: They may take our lives but they’ll never take our freedom!
< 00:59:28 > 
< 00:59:29 > 
< 00:59:30 > 
< 00:59:31 > 
< 00:59:32 > M: Today is our Independence Day!
< 00:59:33 > 
< 00:59:34 > 
< 00:59:35 > 
< 00:59:36 > 
< 00:59:37 > 
< 00:59:38 > 
< 00:59:39 > 
< 00:59:40 > 
< 00:59:41 > 
< 00:59:42 > 
< 00:59:43 > T: Yeaaaaah!  They’ll never crush the human spirit!
< 00:59:44 > M: Unless they have lots and lots of crushing reinforcements.
< 00:59:45 > T: Well yeah.
< 00:59:46 > 
< 00:59:47 > 
< 00:59:48 > 
< 00:59:49 > 
< 00:59:50 > 
< 00:59:51 > 
< 00:59:52 > 
< 00:59:53 > 
< 00:59:54 > 
< 00:59:55 > T: Looks like the line at the DMV.
< 00:59:56 > 
< 00:59:57 > 
< 00:59:58 > 
< 00:59:59 > 

< 01:00:00 > 
< 01:00:01 > M: *deep voiced man* I’m really scared.
< 01:00:02 > 
< 01:00:03 > 
< 01:00:04 > 
< 01:00:05 > 
< 01:00:06 > 
< 01:00:07 > 
< 01:00:08 > T: Who the hell are you, anyway?
< 01:00:09 > 
< 01:00:10 > 
< 01:00:11 > 
< 01:00:12 > 
< 01:00:13 > 
< 01:00:14 > 

< 01:00:15 > 
< 01:00:16 > 
< 01:00:17 > M: Ah good, back to the endless identical gray tunnels that seem to be everywhere.
< 01:00:18 > 
< 01:00:19 > 
< 01:00:20 > 
< 01:00:21 > 
< 01:00:22 > 
< 01:00:23 > T: My sperm count is amazing!
< 01:00:24 > 
< 01:00:25 > 
< 01:00:26 > 
< 01:00:27 > 
< 01:00:28 > 

< 01:00:29 > 
< 01:00:30 > 
< 01:00:31 > 
< 01:00:32 > M: Oh sorry, I’ll shut the holodeck right off.
< 01:00:33 > 
< 01:00:34 > 
< 01:00:35 > 
< 01:00:36 > 
< 01:00:37 > 
< 01:00:38 > M: Are there any suggestions I can be irrationally resistant to?
< 01:00:39 > 
< 01:00:40 > 
< 01:00:41 > 
< 01:00:42 > 
< 01:00:43 > 
< 01:00:44 > 
< 01:00:45 > 
< 01:00:46 > 
< 01:00:47 > 
< 01:00:48 > 
< 01:00:49 > 
< 01:00:50 > 
< 01:00:51 > T: This is so tense, I don’t think I can take it.
< 01:00:52 > 
< 01:00:53 > 
< 01:00:54 > 
< 01:00:55 > 
< 01:00:56 > 
< 01:00:57 > 
< 01:00:58 > M: This is like Hunt for Red October.  Only it sucks.
< 01:00:59 > 
< 01:01:00 > 
< 01:01:01 > 
< 01:01:02 > 
< 01:01:03 > 
< 01:01:04 > T: Look, it’s the Titanic!
< 01:01:05 > 
< 01:01:06 > 
< 01:01:07 > M: Who am I?
< 01:01:08 > 
< 01:01:09 > 
< 01:01:10 > 
< 01:01:11 > 
< 01:01:12 > 
< 01:01:13 > T: Oh yeah and there’s lots of scrap metal piled up everywhere in these infinite tunnels.  Really weird how all this stuff got here.
< 01:01:14 > 
< 01:01:15 > 
< 01:01:16 > 
< 01:01:17 > 
< 01:01:18 > 
< 01:01:19 > M: Boom!  He got another goddamn in!
< 01:01:20 > 
< 01:01:21 > 

< 01:01:22 > 
< 01:01:23 > 
< 01:01:24 > T: Ah, the great Morpheus, reduced to the Chewbacca chair.
< 01:01:25 > 
< 01:01:26 > 
< 01:01:27 > 
< 01:01:28 > 
< 01:01:29 > 
< 01:01:30 > M: Watch your head! *PONG!*
< 01:01:31 > 
< 01:01:32 > 
< 01:01:33 > 
< 01:01:34 > 
< 01:01:35 > T: Wonder where all the flat-panel monitors came from, too.
< 01:01:36 > 
< 01:01:37 > 
< 01:01:38 > 
< 01:01:39 > 
< 01:01:40 > 
< 01:01:41 > 
< 01:01:42 > 
< 01:01:43 > 
< 01:01:44 > 
< 01:01:45 > 
< 01:01:46 > T: Comin’ ta GET YA!
< 01:01:47 > 
< 01:01:48 > 
< 01:01:49 > M: Oooh the Scrubbing Bubbles from HELL!
< 01:01:50 > 
< 01:01:51 > 
< 01:01:52 > T: All right!  Woo!
< 01:01:53 > 
< 01:01:54 > 
< 01:01:55 > 
< 01:01:58 > 
< 01:01:59 > 
< 01:02:00 > 
< 01:02:01 > 
< 01:02:02 > 
< 01:02:03 > 
< 01:02:04 > 
< 01:02:05 > 
< 01:02:06 > 
< 01:02:07 > M: This is still a better movie than Wing Commander.
< 01:02:08 > T: Yeah.
< 01:02:09 > 

< 01:02:10 > 
< 01:02:11 > 
< 01:02:12 > 
< 01:02:13 > 
< 01:02:14 > 
< 01:02:15 > 
< 01:02:16 > T: I have nothing to say or contribute.
< 01:02:17 > 
< 01:02:18 > 
< 01:02:19 > 
< 01:02:20 > 
< 01:02:21 > 
< 01:02:22 > 
< 01:02:23 > M: Get moving, lardass!
< 01:02:24 > 
< 01:02:25 > 
< 01:02:26 > 
< 01:02:27 > 
< 01:02:28 > 
< 01:02:29 > M: The humans don’t really appear to have any way to escape.  Could drop a nuke down there or something.  Radiation would wipe ‘em out in a week at most.
< 01:02:30 > 
< 01:02:31 > 
< 01:02:32 > 
< 01:02:33 > 
< 01:02:34 > 
< 01:02:35 > 
< 01:02:36 > 
< 01:02:37 > 
< 01:02:38 > T: Ah man, I just remembered.  I forgot to return that video.
< 01:02:39 > 
< 01:02:40 > 
< 01:02:41 > 
< 01:02:42 > 
< 01:02:43 > 
< 01:02:44 > 
< 01:02:45 > M: Ah, good, Spielberg-like scenes of people looking at things shake and vibrate.
< 01:02:46 > 
< 01:02:47 > 
< 01:02:48 > 
< 01:02:49 > 
< 01:02:50 > 
< 01:02:51 > 
< 01:02:52 > 
< 01:02:53 > T: This whole movie is kind of a James Cameron ripoff orgy.  With the giant robots, the hardassed Vasquez-like women, the relationship between Neo and Trinity kinda like in Terminator…
< 01:02:54 > 
< 01:02:55 > 
< 01:02:56 > 
< 01:02:57 > 
< 01:02:58 > 
< 01:02:59 > 
< 01:03:00 > M: If Cuba Gooding Jr. runs out and starts shooting that gun I’m torching the theater.
< 01:03:01 > 
< 01:03:02 > 
< 01:03:03 > 
< 01:03:04 > 
< 01:03:05 > 
< 01:03:06 > 
< 01:03:07 > 

< 01:03:08 > 
< 01:03:09 > 
< 01:03:10 > T: Hey, this movie is BORE-ing.  BORE-ing, get it?
< 01:03:11 > 
< 01:03:12 > 
< 01:03:13 > 
< 01:03:14 > 
< 01:03:15 > 
< 01:03:16 > 
< 01:03:17 > 
< 01:03:18 > T: Star Trek lurch to the left!
< 01:03:19 > 
< 01:03:20 > 
< 01:03:21 > 
< 01:03:22 > 
< 01:03:23 > 
< 01:03:24 > 
< 01:03:25 > 
< 01:03:26 > M: Yeah it figures it’d land on MY car.
< 01:03:27 > 
< 01:03:28 > 
< 01:03:29 > T: Hey look, Courtney Love.
< 01:03:30 > 
< 01:03:31 > 
< 01:03:32 > 
< 01:03:33 > 
< 01:03:34 > M: Lock and load, anonymous extraaaaas!
< 01:03:35 > 
< 01:03:36 > 
< 01:03:37 > 
< 01:03:38 > 
< 01:03:39 > T: John Woo double-gun bots armed!
< 01:03:40 > 
< 01:03:41 > 
< 01:03:42 > M: Waterslide!  Woo!
< 01:03:43 > T: *James Bond theme*
< 01:03:44 > 
< 01:03:45 > 
< 01:03:46 > *AAAAH!*
< 01:03:47 > 
< 01:03:48 > 
< 01:03:49 > T: Computer graphics drum solo!  Yeaaaah!
< 01:03:50 > 
< 01:03:51 > 
< 01:03:52 > 
< 01:03:53 > 
< 01:03:54 > 
< 01:03:55 > 
< 01:03:56 > M: When your deodorant needs to be sports-tough.
< 01:03:57 > 
< 01:03:58 > 
< 01:03:59 > 
< 01:04:00 > 
< 01:04:01 > 
< 01:04:02 > T: Do the robot YMCA dance!
< 01:04:03 > 
< 01:04:04 > 
< 01:04:05 > 
< 01:04:06 > 
< 01:04:07 > 
< 01:04:08 > M: Discobot!
< 01:04:09 > 
< 01:04:10 > 
< 01:04:11 > 
< 01:04:12 > 
< 01:04:13 > 

< 01:04:14 > 
< 01:04:15 > 
< 01:04:16 > 
< 01:04:17 > M: *Rambo yell*
< 01:04:18 > 
< 01:04:19 > T: Whoa!  I just had flashbacks to Tomorrow Never Dies.
< 01:04:20 > 
< 01:04:21 > 
< 01:04:22 > 
< 01:04:23 > 
< 01:04:24 > 

< 01:04:25 > 
< 01:04:26 > 
< 01:04:27 > M: Hey look, the movie’s produced by John Peters!  A giant mechanical spider!
< 01:04:28 > 
< 01:04:29 > 
< 01:04:30 > 
< 01:04:31 > 
< 01:04:32 > 
< 01:04:33 > 
< 01:04:34 > 
< 01:04:35 > 
< 01:04:36 > 
< 01:04:37 > 
< 01:04:38 > T: Those are some bigass binoculars.
< 01:04:39 > 
< 01:04:40 > 
< 01:04:41 > 
< 01:04:42 > 
< 01:04:43 > 
< 01:04:44 > 
< 01:04:45 > M: Wow there’s a lot going on at that greenscreen up there.
< 01:04:46 > 
< 01:04:47 > 
< 01:04:48 > 
< 01:04:49 > 
< 01:04:50 > 
< 01:04:51 > 
< 01:04:52 > 
< 01:04:53 > 
< 01:04:54 > T: Auger this in!
< 01:04:55 > 
< 01:04:56 > 


< 01:04:57 > 
< 01:04:58 > 
< 01:04:59 > 
< 01:05:00 > 
< 01:05:01 > M: Is it customary for our main protagonist to just vanish from the movie for a half hour?
< 01:05:02 > 
< 01:05:03 > 
< 01:05:04 > 
< 01:05:05 > 
< 01:05:06 > 
< 01:05:07 > 
< 01:05:08 > 
< 01:05:09 > 
< 01:05:10 > T: Guest starring Justin Timberlake!
< 01:05:11 > 

< 01:05:12 > 
< 01:05:13 > 
< 01:05:14 > 
< 01:05:15 > 
< 01:05:16 > 
< 01:05:17 > M: Wow.  We might need some more ammo.
< 01:05:18 > 
< 01:05:19 > 
< 01:05:20 > 
< 01:05:21 > 
< 01:05:22 > T: It slices!  It dices!  It makes mashed potatoes and chipped ice!
< 01:05:23 > 
< 01:05:24 > 
< 01:05:25 > 
< 01:05:26 > M: Open wide!  Is it safe?
< 01:05:27 > 
< 01:05:28 > 
< 01:05:29 > 
< 01:05:30 > 
< 01:05:31 > T: *vibrating* Could be worse!  Could be raining!
< 01:05:32 > 
< 01:05:33 > 
< 01:05:34 > 
< 01:05:35 > 
< 01:05:36 > 
< 01:05:37 > 
< 01:05:38 > M: Hey, look at the size of the rockets she’s got.
< 01:05:39 > 
< 01:05:40 > 
< 01:05:41 > 
< 01:05:42 > 
< 01:05:43 > 
< 01:05:44 > 
< 01:05:45 > 
< 01:05:46 > 
< 01:05:47 > T: oof, she pulled a Tonya Harding on the Destructobot.
< 01:05:48 > 
< 01:05:49 > 
< 01:05:50 > 
< 01:05:51 > 
< 01:05:52 > 
< 01:05:53 > 
< 01:05:54 > 
< 01:05:55 > 
< 01:05:56 > 
< 01:05:57 > M: I just had a thought..who in the hell am I?
< 01:05:58 > 
< 01:05:59 > 
< 01:06:00 > 
< 01:06:01 > 
< 01:06:02 > 
< 01:06:03 > 
< 01:06:04 > T: Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to put yourselves in a position where you could be easily swarmed from all sides.
< 01:06:05 > 
< 01:06:06 > 
< 01:06:07 > 
< 01:06:08 > 
< 01:06:09 > 
< 01:06:10 > 
< 01:06:11 > 
< 01:06:12 > 
< 01:06:13 > 
< 01:06:14 > 
< 01:06:15 > M: So why don’t the sentinels have guns?  Wouldn’t that make sense?
< 01:06:16 > T: They had bombs in the previous movie, too.
< 01:06:17 > 
< 01:06:18 > 
< 01:06:19 > 
< 01:06:20 > 
< 01:06:21 > 
< 01:06:22 > M: This is such a cool video game!  Movie!  I mean movie!
< 01:06:23 > 
< 01:06:24 > 
< 01:06:25 > T: Get ‘em, Lenny Kravitz!
< 01:06:26 > 
< 01:06:27 > 
< 01:06:28 > 
< 01:06:29 > 
< 01:06:30 > T: You talkin’ to me?
< 01:06:31 > 
< 01:06:32 > 
< 01:06:33 > 
< 01:06:34 > 
< 01:06:35 > 
< 01:06:36 > 
< 01:06:37 > 
< 01:06:38 > M: Why did I volunteer for this shiiiiii…
< 01:06:39 > 
< 01:06:40 > 
< 01:06:41 > 
< 01:06:42 > T: Go, you jolly pirate man!
< 01:06:43 > 
< 01:06:44 > 
< 01:06:45 > M: You should pin those ears back to reduce your drag factor.
< 01:06:46 > 
< 01:06:47 > 
< 01:06:48 > 
< 01:06:49 > 
< 01:06:50 > 
< 01:06:51 > T: You said that already, sir!
< 01:06:52 > 
< 01:06:53 > 
< 01:06:54 > M: Rambo impressions now!
< 01:06:55 > 
< 01:06:56 > 
< 01:06:57 > 
< 01:06:58 > 
< 01:06:59 > 
< 01:07:00 > 
< 01:07:01 > 
< 01:07:02 > T: *Goofy falling scream*
< 01:07:03 > M: Would have solved a lot of problems just putting your backs to a wall. 
< 01:07:04 > 
< 01:07:05 > 
< 01:07:06 > 
< 01:07:07 > 
< 01:07:08 > T: Is this just Starship Troopers 2?  I miss Michael Ironside.
< 01:07:09 > 
< 01:07:10 > 
< 01:07:11 > M: I miss the quiet dignity of the bugs that shoot fireballs out of their ass.
< 01:07:12 > 
< 01:07:13 > 
< 01:07:14 > 
< 01:07:15 > 
< 01:07:16 > 
< 01:07:17 > 
< 01:07:18 > T: Whoa!
< 01:07:19 > M: So there’s one weapon the humans have that can kill the machines, EMP, and they haven’t used it yet.
< 01:07:20 > 
< 01:07:21 > 
< 01:07:22 > 
< 01:07:23 > 
< 01:07:24 > 
< 01:07:25 > 
< 01:07:26 > 
< 01:07:27 > 
< 01:07:28 > T: They had a hundred years to plan a defense in case the machines attacked, and this is the best they could come up with?
< 01:07:29 > 
< 01:07:30 > 
< 01:07:31 > 
< 01:07:32 > 
< 01:07:33 > 
< 01:07:34 > 
< 01:07:35 > 
< 01:07:36 > 
< 01:07:37 > 
< 01:07:38 > M: Hey, no stealing Keanu’s lines.
< 01:07:39 > 
< 01:07:40 > 
< 01:07:41 > 
< 01:07:42 > 
< 01:07:43 > 
< 01:07:44 > 
< 01:07:45 > T: Well there goes that…building…whatever it did.
< 01:07:46 > 


< 01:07:47 > 
< 01:07:48 > 
< 01:07:49 > 
< 01:07:50 > 
< 01:07:51 > 
< 01:07:52 > 
< 01:07:53 > 

< 01:07:54 > 
< 01:07:55 > 
< 01:07:56 > M: What infantry?  I’ve seen about 2 guys and 2 women.
< 01:07:57 > 
< 01:07:58 > 
< 01:07:59 > 
< 01:08:00 > 
< 01:08:01 > 
< 01:08:02 > T: When did Jean-Claude van Damme sign for this movie?
< 01:08:03 > 
< 01:08:04 > 
< 01:08:05 > 
< 01:08:06 > 
< 01:08:07 > 
< 01:08:08 > 
< 01:08:09 > M: Yeah that thing will take care of it.
< 01:08:10 > 
< 01:08:11 > 
< 01:08:12 > 
< 01:08:13 > 
< 01:08:14 > T: I brought these thermoses of lemonade.
< 01:08:15 > 
< 01:08:16 > 
< 01:08:17 > 
< 01:08:18 > 
< 01:08:19 > 
< 01:08:20 > 
< 01:08:21 > 
< 01:08:22 > 
< 01:08:23 > T: Bazooka Cam?  I don’t see how they can top that storyboarding.
< 01:08:24 > 
< 01:08:25 > 
< 01:08:26 > 
< 01:08:27 > 
< 01:08:28 > 
< 01:08:29 > 
< 01:08:30 > 
< 01:08:31 > 
< 01:08:32 > 
< 01:08:33 > 
< 01:08:34 > 
< 01:08:35 > 
< 01:08:36 > 
< 01:08:37 > 
< 01:08:38 > M: Eat what?  Who yelled a badass one-liner??
< 01:08:39 > 
< 01:08:40 > 
< 01:08:41 > 
< 01:08:42 > 
< 01:08:43 > 
< 01:08:44 > 
< 01:08:45 > 
< 01:08:46 > 
< 01:08:47 > M: *sing the Wild Wild West thing*
< 01:08:48 > 
< 01:08:49 > 
< 01:08:50 > 
< 01:08:51 > 
< 01:08:52 > 
< 01:08:53 > T: Action movie cliché #3: Running from the explosion shot!
< 01:08:54 > 
< 01:08:55 > 
< 01:08:56 > 
< 01:08:57 > 
< 01:08:58 > 
< 01:08:59 > 
< 01:09:00 > T: You captains have pottymouths.
< 01:09:01 > M: I’ve lost track of which guy is Captain Goddamn.
< 01:09:02 > 
< 01:09:03 > 
< 01:09:04 > 

< 01:09:05 > 
< 01:09:06 > 
< 01:09:07 > T: Damn it’s almost like they built these on an assembly line!  Oh wait…
< 01:09:08 > 
< 01:09:09 > 
< 01:09:10 > 

< 01:09:11 > 
< 01:09:12 > 
< 01:09:13 > 
< 01:09:14 > 
< 01:09:15 > 
< 01:09:16 > T: Trinity, let’s rip off Final Flight of the Osiris.
< 01:09:17 > M: But they all died in that.
< 01:09:18 > T: Oh yeah.
< 01:09:19 > 
< 01:09:20 > 
< 01:09:21 > M: *screeeech*
< 01:09:22 > 
< 01:09:23 > 
< 01:09:24 > 
< 01:09:25 > 
< 01:09:26 > 
< 01:09:27 > 
< 01:09:28 > T: I like big butts.
< 01:09:29 > 
< 01:09:30 > 
< 01:09:31 > 
< 01:09:32 > 
< 01:09:33 > 
< 01:09:34 > 
< 01:09:35 > 
< 01:09:36 > 
< 01:09:37 > 
< 01:09:38 > 
< 01:09:39 > 
< 01:09:40 > 
< 01:09:41 > M: It’s like watching someone play a video game.  I hate that.
< 01:09:42 > 
< 01:09:43 > 
< 01:09:44 > 
< 01:09:45 > 
< 01:09:46 > 
< 01:09:47 > 
< 01:09:48 > 
< 01:09:49 > 
< 01:09:50 > T: Wouldn’t be an epic movie without ships chasing each other in a tunnel, would it.
< 01:09:51 > 
< 01:09:52 > 
< 01:09:53 > 
< 01:09:54 > 
< 01:09:55 > 
< 01:09:56 > M: Come on, get into the spirit!  AUUUUGHH!!!
< 01:09:57 > T: RELOAD!  RELOAD!
< 01:09:58 > 
< 01:09:59 > 
< 01:10:00 > 
< 01:10:01 > T: Load beers!
< 01:10:02 > 
< 01:10:03 > 
< 01:10:04 > 
< 01:10:05 > 
< 01:10:06 > 
< 01:10:07 > 
< 01:10:08 > 
< 01:10:09 > 
< 01:10:10 > 
< 01:10:11 > 
< 01:10:12 > M: I wonder where the Matrix went.  That place was cool.  The Real World is really dull.

< 01:10:13 > 
< 01:10:14 > 
< 01:10:15 > 
< 01:10:16 > 
< 01:10:17 > 
< 01:10:18 > 
< 01:10:19 > 
< 01:10:20 > 
< 01:10:21 > 
< 01:10:22 > 
< 01:10:23 > 

< 01:10:24 > 
< 01:10:25 > 
< 01:10:26 > 
< 01:10:27 > T: It’s appropriate this whole place looks like a sewer.
< 01:10:28 > 
< 01:10:29 > 
< 01:10:30 > M: Matt Damn IS Jason Bourne.
< 01:10:31 > 
< 01:10:32 > 
< 01:10:33 > 
< 01:10:34 > 
< 01:10:35 > 
< 01:10:36 > T: *deep man voice* “I wonder how we got up here, babe.”
< 01:10:37 > 
< 01:10:38 > 
< 01:10:39 > 
< 01:10:40 > 
< 01:10:41 > M: *spit noise*
< 01:10:42 > 
< 01:10:43 > 
< 01:10:44 > 
< 01:10:45 > T: Eeew I’m looking up a robot’s skirt!
< 01:10:46 > 
< 01:10:47 > 
< 01:10:48 > 
< 01:10:49 > 
< 01:10:50 > 
< 01:10:51 > 
< 01:10:52 > M: War is hell.  This movie is one long war.
< 01:10:53 > 
< 01:10:54 > 
< 01:10:55 > 
< 01:10:56 > T: *man voice* In case I die, tell my wife I love her.
< 01:10:57 > 
< 01:10:58 > 
< 01:10:59 > 
< 01:11:00 > 
< 01:11:01 > 
< 01:11:02 > 
< 01:11:03 > M: *man voice* Grab my belt, babe.
< 01:11:04 > 
< 01:11:05 > 
< 01:11:06 > 
< 01:11:07 > 
< 01:11:08 > 
< 01:11:09 > 
< 01:11:10 > 
< 01:11:11 > T: Wow she’s one intimidating woman.  I think.
< 01:11:12 > 
< 01:11:13 > 
< 01:11:14 > 
< 01:11:15 > 
< 01:11:16 > 
< 01:11:17 > 
< 01:11:18 > 
< 01:11:19 > 
< 01:11:20 > 
< 01:11:21 > 
< 01:11:22 > 
< 01:11:23 > 
< 01:11:24 > 
< 01:11:25 > 
< 01:11:26 > 
< 01:11:27 > 
< 01:11:28 > M: Get them!  They have a small and relatively ineffective rocket launcher!
< 01:11:29 > 
< 01:11:30 > 
< 01:11:31 > 
< 01:11:32 > 
< 01:11:33 > 
< 01:11:34 > 
< 01:11:35 > 
< 01:11:36 > 
< 01:11:37 > 
< 01:11:38 > 
< 01:11:39 > T: It’s not like we had any shortage of characters with names.  Why follow this person?
< 01:11:40 > 
< 01:11:41 > 
< 01:11:42 > 
< 01:11:43 > 
< 01:11:44 > 
< 01:11:45 > 
< 01:11:46 > M: Ah!  Something goosed me!
< 01:11:47 > 
< 01:11:48 > 
< 01:11:49 > 
< 01:11:50 > 
< 01:11:51 > 

< 01:11:52 > 
< 01:11:53 > T: We have a toilet blockage in line 4.
< 01:11:54 > 
< 01:11:55 > 
< 01:11:56 > 
< 01:11:57 > 
< 01:11:58 > 
< 01:11:59 > M: These guys are driving like crap!
< 01:12:00 > 
< 01:12:01 > 
< 01:12:02 > 
< 01:12:03 > 
< 01:12:04 > 
< 01:12:05 > 
< 01:12:06 > 
< 01:12:07 > 
< 01:12:08 > T: Look in the back, looks like the diagram of a zit.
< 01:12:09 > 
< 01:12:10 > 
< 01:12:11 > 
< 01:12:12 > 
< 01:12:13 > M: It couldn’t possibly be the ship we’ve been searching for for weeks.
< 01:12:14 > 
< 01:12:15 > 
< 01:12:16 > 
< 01:12:17 > 
< 01:12:18 > 
< 01:12:19 > 
< 01:12:20 > 
< 01:12:21 > 
< 01:12:22 > T: If the ship goes below 50 it will explode!  What do you do?
< 01:12:23 > 
< 01:12:24 > 
< 01:12:25 > 
< 01:12:26 > M: *Niobe* I have to get back in time to see The OC.
< 01:12:27 > 
< 01:12:28 > 
< 01:12:29 > 
< 01:12:30 > 
< 01:12:31 > M: You could have just replaced Morpheus with a cardboard standee for this movie.
< 01:12:32 > 
< 01:12:33 > 

< 01:12:34 > 
< 01:12:35 > 
< 01:12:36 > 
< 01:12:37 > 
< 01:12:38 > 
< 01:12:39 > 
< 01:12:40 > 
< 01:12:41 > 
< 01:12:42 >  T: *Chewbacca roar*
< 01:12:43 > 
< 01:12:44 > 
< 01:12:45 > 
< 01:12:46 > 
< 01:12:47 > T: *radio tune* “Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby…”
< 01:12:48 > 
< 01:12:49 > 
< 01:12:50 > 
< 01:12:51 > 
< 01:12:52 > 
< 01:12:53 > M: Wow he’s been firing constantly and his guns haven’t overheated or anything.
< 01:12:54 > 
< 01:12:55 > 
< 01:12:56 > 

< 01:12:57 > 
< 01:12:58 > 
< 01:12:59 > 
< 01:13:00 > 
< 01:13:01 > 
< 01:13:02 > 
< 01:13:03 > 
< 01:13:04 > 
< 01:13:05 > T: Please Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em.
< 01:13:06 > 
< 01:13:07 > 
< 01:13:08 > 
< 01:13:09 > 
< 01:13:10 > 
< 01:13:11 > 
< 01:13:12 > M: Oh come on, it’s clearly a trick by the machines.
< 01:13:13 > 
< 01:13:14 > 
< 01:13:15 > 
< 01:13:16 > 
< 01:13:17 > 
< 01:13:18 > 
< 01:13:19 > T: WHAT DEFENSE SYSTEM?  IT’S ONE GUY!
< 01:13:20 > 
< 01:13:21 > 
< 01:13:22 > 

< 01:13:23 > 
< 01:13:24 > M: You’re fired!
< 01:13:25 > 
< 01:13:26 > 
< 01:13:27 > 
< 01:13:28 > 
< 01:13:29 > 
< 01:13:30 > 
< 01:13:31 > 
< 01:13:32 > 
< 01:13:33 > 
< 01:13:34 > T: *Scotty blabber*
< 01:13:35 > 
< 01:13:36 > 
< 01:13:37 > 
< 01:13:38 > 
< 01:13:39 > 
< 01:13:40 > 
< 01:13:41 > 
< 01:13:42 > 
< 01:13:43 > 
< 01:13:44 > 


< 01:13:45 > M: Well let’s auger this baby in.
< 01:13:46 > 
< 01:13:47 > 
< 01:13:48 > T: Is this where they reach the core of the Death Star?
< 01:13:49 > 
< 01:13:50 > 
< 01:13:51 > 
< 01:13:52 > 
< 01:13:53 > 
< 01:13:54 > 
< 01:13:55 > 
< 01:13:56 > M: It’s a rare movie when the action climax is really a good place to take a bathroom break.
< 01:13:57 > 
< 01:13:58 > 
< 01:13:59 > 
< 01:14:00 > 
< 01:14:01 > 
< 01:14:02 > 
< 01:14:03 > T: Grab the Oh Shit bars!
< 01:14:04 > 
< 01:14:05 > 
< 01:14:06 > 
< 01:14:07 > 
< 01:14:08 > 
< 01:14:09 > 
< 01:14:10 > M: This reminds me of that old Captain Power show.  Only Captain Power was cooler.
< 01:14:11 > 
< 01:14:12 > 
< 01:14:13 > 
< 01:14:14 > 
< 01:14:15 > 
< 01:14:16 > 
< 01:14:17 > 
< 01:14:18 > 


< 01:14:19 > 
< 01:14:20 > T: Whurrrgh I shoulda kept a bucket handy.
< 01:14:21 > 
< 01:14:22 > 
< 01:14:23 > M: Uhhh there’s a lot of red on the screen so I think that’s bad.
< 01:14:24 > 
< 01:14:25 > 
< 01:14:26 > 
< 01:14:27 > T: By most definitions of “too late”, yes.
< 01:14:28 > 
< 01:14:29 > 
< 01:14:30 > 
< 01:14:31 > 
< 01:14:32 > 
< 01:14:33 > 
< 01:14:34 > 
< 01:14:35 > T: Is it wrong for me to be rooting for the machines to win?
< 01:14:36 > M: Well it would mean that the movie would end.
< 01:14:37 > 
< 01:14:38 > 
< 01:14:39 > 
< 01:14:40 > 
< 01:14:41 > 
< 01:14:42 > 
< 01:14:43 > 
< 01:14:44 > 
< 01:14:45 > 
< 01:14:46 > M: Unnngh!  No!  A point-of-view monster!
< 01:14:47 > 
< 01:14:48 > 
< 01:14:49 > T: I kinda wish Kyle Reese from The Terminator would just run in and kick everyone’s ass.
< 01:14:50 > 
< 01:14:51 > 
< 01:14:52 > 
< 01:14:53 > 
< 01:14:54 > T: In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only WAR!
< 01:14:55 > 
< 01:14:56 > 
< 01:14:57 > 
< 01:14:58 > 
< 01:14:59 > 
< 01:15:00 > M: Get me Rex Kramer.
< 01:15:01 > 
< 01:15:02 > 
< 01:15:03 > 
< 01:15:04 > 
< 01:15:05 > M: This’d make a great album cover.
< 01:15:06 > 
< 01:15:07 > 
< 01:15:08 > 
< 01:15:09 > 
< 01:15:10 > T: So their giant robots are armored everywhere except the pilot.
< 01:15:11 > 
< 01:15:12 > 
< 01:15:13 > 
< 01:15:14 > 
< 01:15:15 > M: Kinda reminds me of that scene in UHF when Weird Al is giving Rambo yells at everything.
< 01:15:16 > *Auuuugh!*
< 01:15:17 > T: I’m Tony Montana!  Auuuugh!
< 01:15:18 > M: Come on dude, war cliché time!
< 01:15:19 > T: AUUUUUGH!
< 01:15:20 > M: RELOAD!! RELOAD!!
< 01:15:21 > T: GO GO GO!
< 01:15:22 > M: SERGEANT!!!  WE NEED RETRIEVAL!!!
< 01:15:23 > T: WE’RE PINNED DOWN!
< 01:15:24 > M: MARINES!  WE ARE LEAVING!
< 01:15:25 > T: FREEDOM!!!
< 01:15:26 > M: GET OUTTA HERE!  THAT’S AN ORDER!
< 01:15:27 > T: I’M NOT LEAVING YOU BEHIND!
< 01:15:28 > M: LIEUTENANT DAN!!
< 01:15:29 > T: WE’RE GOING IN!
< 01:15:30 > M: HEAD ‘EM OFF AT THE PASS!
< 01:15:31 > T: GRENADE!!
< 01:15:32 > M: THIS IS A BUG HUNT MAN!
< 01:15:33 > T: LOCK AND LOAD!
< 01:15:34 > M: RICO!  YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!
< 01:15:35 > T: Oh, see, now you bring up Starship Troopers.  I hate you.
< 01:15:36 > 
< 01:15:37 > 
< 01:15:38 > 
< 01:15:39 > 
< 01:15:40 > 
< 01:15:41 > 
< 01:15:42 > 
< 01:15:43 > 
< 01:15:44 > 
< 01:15:45 > 
< 01:15:46 > 
< 01:15:47 > 
< 01:15:48 > 
< 01:15:49 > M: Why don’t they just use armored turrets?  Why are these mech things at all necessary?
< 01:15:50 > 
< 01:15:51 > 
< 01:15:52 > 
< 01:15:53 > 
< 01:15:54 > T: This movie didn’t really work as a sequel to 12 Monkeys.
< 01:15:55 > 
< 01:15:56 > 
< 01:15:57 > 
< 01:15:58 > 
< 01:15:59 > 
< 01:16:00 > 

< 01:16:01 > M: Why is that guy so impossible to kill!  He’s been the only one alive for like 5 minutes!
< 01:16:02 > 
< 01:16:03 > 
< 01:16:04 > 
< 01:16:05 > 
< 01:16:06 > 
< 01:16:07 > T: AUUUUUUUGHH!!!!
< 01:16:08 > 
< 01:16:09 > 
< 01:16:10 > 
< 01:16:11 > M: *nerdy AUUUUGH!*
< 01:16:12 > 
< 01:16:13 > 
< 01:16:14 > 
< 01:16:15 > 
< 01:16:16 > 
< 01:16:17 > 
< 01:16:18 > T: Uhhh, I could use some help out here!
< 01:16:19 > 
< 01:16:20 > 
< 01:16:21 > 
< 01:16:22 > 
< 01:16:23 > M: Maybe they should have just imposed stiff trade sanctions.
< 01:16:24 > 
< 01:16:25 > 
< 01:16:26 > 
< 01:16:27 > 
< 01:16:28 > 
< 01:16:29 > T: Oh man I gotta pee in a hurry!
< 01:16:30 > 
< 01:16:31 > 
< 01:16:32 > 
< 01:16:33 > 
< 01:16:34 > M: The Red Sox / Yankees feud reaches an all new high.
< 01:16:35 > 
< 01:16:36 > 
< 01:16:37 > 
< 01:16:38 > 
< 01:16:39 > T: Ahhhh even in the future nothin’ works.
< 01:16:40 > 
< 01:16:41 > 
< 01:16:42 > 
< 01:16:43 > 
< 01:16:44 > M: *FSSSSSH* AAAAH HOT! AAAH!
< 01:16:45 > 
< 01:16:46 > 
< 01:16:47 > 
< 01:16:48 > M: Pa!  Pa!
< 01:16:49 > 
< 01:16:50 > 
< 01:16:51 > 
< 01:16:52 > T: Only the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers could save us.  Make my monster grow!!!
< 01:16:53 > 
< 01:16:54 > 
< 01:16:55 > 
< 01:16:56 > 
< 01:16:57 > 
< 01:16:58 > M: Piece of Taiwanese crap!!
< 01:16:59 > 
< 01:17:00 > 
< 01:17:01 > *AUUUUGH!*
< 01:17:02 > 
< 01:17:03 > 
< 01:17:04 > 
< 01:17:05 > 
< 01:17:06 > 
< 01:17:07 > T: Wow the machine army actually kinda sucks.
< 01:17:08 > 
< 01:17:09 > 
< 01:17:10 > 
< 01:17:11 > 
< 01:17:12 > 
< 01:17:13 > M: Luckily his front is so well armored.  Oh wait.
< 01:17:14 > 
< 01:17:15 > 
< 01:17:16 > 
< 01:17:17 > 
< 01:17:18 > 
< 01:17:19 > 
< 01:17:20 > T: SURRRRRGE!
< 01:17:21 > 
< 01:17:22 > 
< 01:17:23 > 
< 01:17:24 > 
< 01:17:25 > M: Ohhhh I fell on my keys!
< 01:17:26 > 
< 01:17:27 > 
< 01:17:28 > 
< 01:17:29 > 
< 01:17:30 > T: I just met a girl named Mfune!
< 01:17:31 > 
< 01:17:32 > 
< 01:17:33 > 
< 01:17:34 > M: Ah the grizzled war veteran dying in the arms of the young hero.  Scratch that war cliché off the list.
< 01:17:35 > 
< 01:17:36 > 
< 01:17:37 > 
< 01:17:38 > 
< 01:17:39 > 
< 01:17:40 > 
< 01:17:41 > 
< 01:17:42 > T: Whoo, I did that putting in a contact lens once.
< 01:17:43 > 
< 01:17:44 > 
< 01:17:45 > M: Carry on my tradition of yelling at things.
< 01:17:46 > 
< 01:17:47 > 
< 01:17:48 > 
< 01:17:49 > 
< 01:17:50 > 
< 01:17:51 > 
< 01:17:52 > 
< 01:17:53 > 
< 01:17:54 > 
< 01:17:55 > T: Get me a Band-Aid.
< 01:17:56 > 
< 01:17:57 > 
< 01:17:58 > 
< 01:17:59 > 
< 01:18:00 > 
< 01:18:01 > 
< 01:18:02 > 
< 01:18:03 > M: Ohh…SHIT.
< 01:18:04 > 
< 01:18:05 > 
< 01:18:06 > 
< 01:18:07 > 
< 01:18:08 > 
< 01:18:09 > T: Ah, so that’s why we lost the war.  Our officers are dangerously unqualified.
< 01:18:10 > 
< 01:18:11 > 
< 01:18:12 > 
< 01:18:13 > 
< 01:18:14 > 
< 01:18:15 > 
< 01:18:16 > M: Would he care if I took his wallet?
< 01:18:17 > 
< 01:18:18 > 
< 01:18:19 > 
< 01:18:20 > T: Aw come on, haven’t they arrived yet?
< 01:18:21 > M: They’ve been “almost there” for like 10 minutes now.
< 01:18:22 > 
< 01:18:23 > 
< 01:18:24 > 
< 01:18:25 > T: Uh oh, better get Maaco.
< 01:18:26 > 
< 01:18:27 > 
< 01:18:28 > 
< 01:18:29 > M: Mammie!  Mammie!
< 01:18:30 > 
< 01:18:31 > 
< 01:18:32 > 
< 01:18:33 > 


< 01:18:34 > 
< 01:18:35 > 
< 01:18:36 > T: *Morpheus* Hey if you don’t need me, you mind if I go make myself a sandwich?
< 01:18:37 > 
< 01:18:38 > 
< 01:18:39 > 
< 01:18:40 > 
< 01:18:41 > 
< 01:18:42 > 
< 01:18:43 > T: *sing Iron Man*
< 01:18:44 > 
< 01:18:45 > 
< 01:18:46 > 
< 01:18:47 > 
< 01:18:48 > 
< 01:18:49 > 
< 01:18:50 > 
< 01:18:51 > 
< 01:18:52 > 
< 01:18:53 > 
< 01:18:54 > M: No no, do the Robot!
< 01:18:55 > 
< 01:18:56 > 
< 01:18:57 > 
< 01:18:58 > 
< 01:18:59 > 
< 01:19:00 > 
< 01:19:01 > 
< 01:19:02 > T: He’s at the 30!  The 20!
< 01:19:03 > 
< 01:19:04 > 
< 01:19:05 > 
< 01:19:06 > 
< 01:19:07 > 
< 01:19:08 > M: Wow he’s running away?  We should have thought of that.
< 01:19:09 > 
< 01:19:10 > 
< 01:19:11 > 
< 01:19:12 > 
< 01:19:13 > 
< 01:19:14 > 
< 01:19:15 > 
< 01:19:16 > M: *nerdy Auuuugh!*
< 01:19:17 > 
< 01:19:18 > 
< 01:19:19 > 
< 01:19:20 > 
< 01:19:21 > 
< 01:19:22 > 
< 01:19:23 > 
< 01:19:24 > 
< 01:19:25 > T: *sing* Chain chain chaiiiiin…
< 01:19:26 > 
< 01:19:27 > 
< 01:19:28 > 
< 01:19:29 > 
< 01:19:30 > 
< 01:19:31 > 
< 01:19:32 > M: 2 minutes?  Ah c’mon pick it up…
< 01:19:33 > 
< 01:19:34 > 
< 01:19:35 > 
< 01:19:36 > T: Must be a GoldStar.
< 01:19:37 > 
< 01:19:38 > 
< 01:19:39 > 
< 01:19:40 > 
< 01:19:41 > 
< 01:19:42 > T: *operator* We’re sorry, the call cannot be completed as dialed.
< 01:19:43 > 
< 01:19:44 > 
< 01:19:45 > 
< 01:19:46 > 
< 01:19:47 > 
< 01:19:48 > 
< 01:19:49 > 
< 01:19:50 > 
< 01:19:51 > 
< 01:19:52 > M: What would Jesus do?
< 01:19:53 > 
< 01:19:54 > 
< 01:19:55 > 
< 01:19:56 > T: How about a beer while you’re back there?
< 01:19:57 > 
< 01:19:58 > 
< 01:19:59 > 

< 01:20:00 > 
< 01:20:01 > 
< 01:20:02 > 
< 01:20:03 > M: Why did we put the EMP in such a hard-to-reach place?
< 01:20:04 > 
< 01:20:05 > 
< 01:20:06 > 
< 01:20:07 > 
< 01:20:08 > 
< 01:20:09 > T: Could this movie be worse than Robot Jox?
< 01:20:10 > 
< 01:20:11 > 
< 01:20:12 > 
< 01:20:13 > 
< 01:20:14 > 
< 01:20:15 > 
< 01:20:16 > 
< 01:20:17 > 
< 01:20:18 > 
< 01:20:19 > M: This movie should have just been called The Matrix: Attack of the Robo Squids.
< 01:20:20 > 
< 01:20:21 > 
< 01:20:22 > 
< 01:20:23 > 
< 01:20:24 > 
< 01:20:25 > T: *electrocuting sounds*
< 01:20:26 > 
< 01:20:27 > 
< 01:20:28 > M: Time to grill some big ugly metal seafood!
< 01:20:29 > 
< 01:20:30 > 
< 01:20:31 > 
< 01:20:32 > 
< 01:20:33 > T: But it’s hard!
< 01:20:34 > 
< 01:20:35 > 
< 01:20:36 > 
< 01:20:37 > 
< 01:20:38 > 
< 01:20:39 > 
< 01:20:40 > 
< 01:20:41 > M: I believe…this movie is crap.
< 01:20:42 > 
< 01:20:43 > 
< 01:20:44 > 
< 01:20:45 > 
< 01:20:46 > 
< 01:20:47 > 
< 01:20:48 > 
< 01:20:49 > 
< 01:20:50 > 
< 01:20:51 > T: This scene is almost over!  Yes!
< 01:20:52 > 
< 01:20:53 > 
< 01:20:54 > 
< 01:20:55 > M: Oh look, the garage door opener.  It was here all the time!
< 01:20:56 > 
< 01:20:57 > 
< 01:20:58 > 
< 01:20:59 > 
< 01:21:00 > 
< 01:21:01 > 
< 01:21:02 > T: *sing* All the clothes are brown…and the pipes are gray…
< 01:21:03 > 
< 01:21:04 > 
< 01:21:05 > 
< 01:21:06 > 
< 01:21:07 > 
< 01:21:08 > 
< 01:21:09 > 
< 01:21:10 > 
< 01:21:11 > M: I wish Morpheus was in this movie.
< 01:21:12 > T: He is.
< 01:21:13 > M: What??
< 01:21:14 > 
< 01:21:15 > 
< 01:21:16 > 
< 01:21:17 > 
< 01:21:18 > 
< 01:21:19 > T: Why is it whenever we let the women drive they end up wrecking the nice ships?

< 01:21:20 > 
< 01:21:21 > 
< 01:21:22 > 
< 01:21:23 > 
< 01:21:24 > 
< 01:21:25 > 
< 01:21:26 > 
< 01:21:27 > 
< 01:21:28 > 
< 01:21:29 > 
< 01:21:30 > 
< 01:21:31 > 
< 01:21:32 > M: Wow this seems like a really good idea.  Wonder why they didn’t do that hours ago during the conflict.
< 01:21:33 > 
< 01:21:34 > 
< 01:21:35 > 
< 01:21:36 > 
< 01:21:37 > 
< 01:21:38 > 
< 01:21:39 > 
< 01:21:40 > 
< 01:21:41 > T: Hey look!  The doors got fixed.
< 01:21:42 > M: I’d better go get a fire extinguisher.
< 01:21:43 > 
< 01:21:44 > 
< 01:21:45 > 
< 01:21:46 > 
< 01:21:47 > 
< 01:21:48 > T: Yay! We’ve beaten the first of many many waves!
< 01:21:49 > M: We’re entirely defenseless!
< 01:21:50 > 
< 01:21:51 > 
< 01:21:52 > M: Well I’ll be damned if I’m cleaning all this up.
< 01:21:53 > 
< 01:21:54 > 
< 01:21:55 > 
< 01:21:56 > 
< 01:21:57 > T: You temporarily delayed them.
< 01:21:58 > 
< 01:21:59 > 
< 01:22:00 > 
< 01:22:01 > M: I didn’t really DO anything…
< 01:22:02 > 
< 01:22:03 > 
< 01:22:04 > 
< 01:22:05 > 
< 01:22:06 > 
< 01:22:07 > 
< 01:22:08 > T: Like the Wayans’ brothers making a good movie.
< 01:22:09 > 
< 01:22:10 > 
< 01:22:11 > 
< 01:22:12 > 
< 01:22:13 > 
< 01:22:14 > 
< 01:22:15 > 
< 01:22:16 > 
< 01:22:17 > 
< 01:22:18 > M: Aw man, there’s no way my insurance is gonna cover this.
< 01:22:19 > *AAH!*
< 01:22:20 > 
< 01:22:21 > 
< 01:22:22 > 
< 01:22:23 > 
< 01:22:24 > T: Where were you guys when the dock was being attacked, playing with yourselves?
< 01:22:25 > 
< 01:22:26 > 
< 01:22:27 > 
< 01:22:28 > 
< 01:22:29 > M: I didn’t really like Wind Waker, but that’s just me.
< 01:22:30 > 
< 01:22:31 > 
< 01:22:32 > 
< 01:22:33 > 
< 01:22:34 > 
< 01:22:35 > 
< 01:22:36 > 
< 01:22:37 > M: Well, so the war’s over and now the credits can roll, right?
< 01:22:38 > T: No, this movie’s still got 45 minutes left in it.
< 01:22:39 > M: NO!!!!

< 01:22:40 > 
< 01:22:41 > 
< 01:22:42 > 
< 01:22:43 > 
< 01:22:44 > 
< 01:22:45 > 
< 01:22:46 > 
< 01:22:47 > 
< 01:22:48 > T: Once again proof that love trumps robots.
< 01:22:49 > M: Ah that’s crap.
< 01:22:50 > T: You gotta hug the terminator, Sorbo, not shoot him.
< 01:22:51 > 
< 01:22:52 > 
< 01:22:53 > 
< 01:22:54 > 
< 01:22:55 > 

< 01:22:56 > 
< 01:22:57 > 
< 01:22:58 > 
< 01:22:59 > M: Hey there’s precious little post-apocalyptic bling bling.  I’d hang onto it too.
< 01:23:00 > 
< 01:23:01 > 
< 01:23:02 > 
< 01:23:03 > 
< 01:23:04 > 
< 01:23:05 > 
< 01:23:06 > 
< 01:23:07 > 
< 01:23:08 > 
< 01:23:09 > 
< 01:23:10 > T: Oh boy, here he goes.
< 01:23:11 > 
< 01:23:12 > 
< 01:23:13 > 
< 01:23:14 > M: Oh ram it, Limpdick.
< 01:23:15 > 
< 01:23:16 > 
< 01:23:17 > 
< 01:23:18 > 
< 01:23:19 > 
< 01:23:20 > 
< 01:23:21 > 
< 01:23:22 > T: What war were you watching, man?
< 01:23:23 > 
< 01:23:24 > 
< 01:23:25 > 
< 01:23:26 > 
< 01:23:27 > 
< 01:23:28 > 
< 01:23:29 > 
< 01:23:30 > 
< 01:23:31 > M: You IDIOTS.
< 01:23:32 > 
< 01:23:33 > 
< 01:23:34 > 
< 01:23:35 > 
< 01:23:36 > T: What APUs?  EVERYONE WAS DEAD!
< 01:23:37 > 
< 01:23:38 > 
< 01:23:39 > 
< 01:23:40 > 
< 01:23:41 > 
< 01:23:42 > M: Oh I’m SORRY. CLEARLY you had things well under control.  We’ll just be GOING now.
< 01:23:43 > T: So his plan was to let the machines tire themselves out BEATING US MERCILESSLY.
< 01:23:44 > 
< 01:23:45 > 
< 01:23:46 > 
< 01:23:47 > 
< 01:23:48 > 
< 01:23:49 > 
< 01:23:50 > 
< 01:23:51 > 
< 01:23:52 > 
< 01:23:53 > 
< 01:23:54 > M: Well that just makes me so happy, doesn’t it.
< 01:23:55 > 
< 01:23:56 > 
< 01:23:57 > 
< 01:23:58 > 
< 01:23:59 > T: NAZGUL!
< 01:24:00 > 
< 01:24:01 > 
< 01:24:02 > 
< 01:24:03 > 
< 01:24:04 > T: Your tests came back!
< 01:24:05 > 
< 01:24:06 > 
< 01:24:07 > 
< 01:24:08 > M: Stupid Niobe, derailed my whole plan!
< 01:24:09 > 
< 01:24:10 > 
< 01:24:11 > 
< 01:24:12 > T: They say that shaft is one blocked mutha--
< 01:24:13 > M: Shut yo mouth.
< 01:24:14 > 
< 01:24:15 > 
< 01:24:16 > 
< 01:24:17 > M: Do you feel lucky…PUNK?
< 01:24:18 > 
< 01:24:19 > 
< 01:24:20 > T: BEES!
< 01:24:21 > 
< 01:24:22 > 
< 01:24:23 > 
< 01:24:24 > M: If Raspberries Conquered the World!
< 01:24:25 > 
< 01:24:26 > 
< 01:24:27 > 
< 01:24:28 > 
< 01:24:29 > T: I finally got through!  I’m voting for Diana DiGarmo.
< 01:24:30 > 
< 01:24:31 > 
< 01:24:32 > 
< 01:24:33 > M: Just wait for us to clear the elevator shaf-AAAH!
< 01:24:34 > 
< 01:24:35 > 
< 01:24:36 > 
< 01:24:37 > 
< 01:24:38 > 
< 01:24:39 > 
< 01:24:40 > 
< 01:24:41 > T: Well all that just ended up in my drink.
< 01:24:42 > 
< 01:24:43 > 
< 01:24:44 > M: You wanna go play SOCOM or something? 
< 01:24:45 > 
< 01:24:46 > 
< 01:24:47 > T: CROM!  I have never prayed to you befoah.
< 01:24:48 > 
< 01:24:49 > 
< 01:24:50 > 
< 01:24:51 > 
< 01:24:52 > 
< 01:24:53 > M: Guest starring Judi Densch!
< 01:24:54 > 
< 01:24:55 > 
< 01:24:56 > 
< 01:24:57 > 
< 01:24:58 > 
< 01:24:59 > 
< 01:25:00 > 
< 01:25:01 > T: Oh she said a LOT.
< 01:25:02 > 
< 01:25:03 > 
< 01:25:04 > 
< 01:25:05 > 
< 01:25:06 > 
< 01:25:07 > 
< 01:25:08 > 
< 01:25:09 > 
< 01:25:10 > 
< 01:25:11 > 
< 01:25:12 > M: Do we really have time for this?
< 01:25:13 > 
< 01:25:14 > 
< 01:25:15 > 
< 01:25:16 > 

< 01:25:17 > 
< 01:25:18 > 
< 01:25:19 > T: Twenty, that’s twenty goddamns.  I’ve been counting!
< 01:25:20 > 
< 01:25:21 > 
< 01:25:22 > 
< 01:25:23 > 
< 01:25:24 > 
< 01:25:25 > 
< 01:25:26 > M: Stretching this movie another twenty minutes.
< 01:25:27 > 
< 01:25:28 > 
< 01:25:29 > 
< 01:25:30 > 
< 01:25:31 > 
< 01:25:32 > 
< 01:25:33 > 
< 01:25:34 > 
< 01:25:35 > 
< 01:25:36 > 
< 01:25:37 > T: But look at it this way, it got rid of Neo.
< 01:25:38 > 
< 01:25:39 > 
< 01:25:40 > 
< 01:25:41 > 
< 01:25:42 > 
< 01:25:43 > M: He will never shut up.
< 01:25:44 > 
< 01:25:45 > 
< 01:25:46 > 
< 01:25:47 > 
< 01:25:48 > 
< 01:25:49 > 
< 01:25:50 > 
< 01:25:51 > M: 98…99…100!  Okay, ready or not, here I come.
< 01:25:52 > 
< 01:25:53 > 
< 01:25:54 > T: I keep expecting to see a phone booth racing down these tunnels.
< 01:25:55 > 
< 01:25:56 > 
< 01:25:57 > 
< 01:25:58 > 
< 01:25:59 > 
< 01:26:00 > 
< 01:26:01 > 
< 01:26:02 > 
< 01:26:03 > T: Uh, Trin?  I have to go to the bathroom.  You gotta aim for me.
< 01:26:04 > 
< 01:26:05 > 
< 01:26:06 > 
< 01:26:07 > 
< 01:26:08 > 
< 01:26:09 > 
< 01:26:10 > 
< 01:26:11 > M: I’d just like to take this moment to soak in the rich color palette of The Matrix.
< 01:26:12 > 
< 01:26:13 > 
< 01:26:14 > 
< 01:26:15 > 
< 01:26:16 > 
< 01:26:17 > 
< 01:26:18 > 
< 01:26:19 > 
< 01:26:20 > 
< 01:26:21 > T: From the baby harvesting vineyards of Ernest and Julio Gallo.
< 01:26:22 > 
< 01:26:23 > 
< 01:26:24 > 
< 01:26:25 > 
< 01:26:26 > M: The future of corporate day-care.
< 01:26:27 > 
< 01:26:28 > 
< 01:26:29 > 
< 01:26:30 > T: Hey, check it out, there’s a White Castle there.
< 01:26:31 > 
< 01:26:32 > 
< 01:26:33 > 
< 01:26:34 > 
< 01:26:35 > 
< 01:26:36 > 
< 01:26:37 > M: So this is where they grow Soylent Green.
< 01:26:38 > 
< 01:26:39 > 
< 01:26:40 > 
< 01:26:41 > T: ZUUL!
< 01:26:42 > M: Ghostbusters reference?
< 01:26:43 > T: BOOM!
< 01:26:44 > 
< 01:26:45 > 
< 01:26:46 > 
< 01:26:47 > 
< 01:26:48 > M: I’m like, The One, remember?
< 01:26:49 > 
< 01:26:50 > 
< 01:26:51 > 
< 01:26:52 > 
< 01:26:53 > T: *sing Paradise City*
< 01:26:54 > 

< 01:26:55 > 
< 01:26:56 > 
< 01:26:57 > M: I also sense that strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.
< 01:26:58 > 
< 01:26:59 > 
< 01:27:00 > 
< 01:27:01 > 
< 01:27:02 > 
< 01:27:03 > 
< 01:27:04 > 
< 01:27:05 > 
< 01:27:06 > 
< 01:27:07 > 
< 01:27:08 > T: Follow the road signs that say “Machine Source – 30 miles”
< 01:27:09 > 
< 01:27:10 > 
< 01:27:11 > 
< 01:27:12 > 
< 01:27:13 > 
< 01:27:14 > 
< 01:27:15 > 
< 01:27:16 > 
< 01:27:17 > M: The machines must get great broadband service.
< 01:27:18 > 
< 01:27:19 > 
< 01:27:20 > 
< 01:27:21 > 
< 01:27:22 > T: You gotta hack yo own brain and loop it through Jones!
< 01:27:23 > M: Oh man, a Johnny Mnemonic reference…
< 01:27:24 > 
< 01:27:25 > 
< 01:27:26 > 
< 01:27:27 > 
< 01:27:28 > 
< 01:27:29 > 
< 01:27:30 > M: I think they’re mooning us!
< 01:27:31 > 
< 01:27:32 > 
< 01:27:33 > 
< 01:27:34 > 
< 01:27:35 > 
< 01:27:36 > 
< 01:27:37 > T: Okay guys!  On 3!  Heaaaave!
< 01:27:38 > 
< 01:27:39 > 
< 01:27:40 > 
< 01:27:41 > M: Oh!  Just needed a jumpstart.
< 01:27:42 > 
< 01:27:43 > 
< 01:27:44 > 
< 01:27:45 > 
< 01:27:46 > 
< 01:27:47 > 
< 01:27:48 > T: We have to do ANOTHER war scene?
< 01:27:49 > 
< 01:27:50 > 
< 01:27:51 > M: I oughta just kick your ass.
< 01:27:52 > 
< 01:27:53 > 
< 01:27:54 > T: Light the Bat-Signal.
< 01:27:55 > 
< 01:27:56 > 
< 01:27:57 > 
< 01:27:58 > M: Oh good, I didn’t get enough civil government from the last two scenes.
< 01:27:59 > 
< 01:28:00 > 
< 01:28:01 > 
< 01:28:02 > 
< 01:28:03 > 
< 01:28:04 > 
< 01:28:05 > 
< 01:28:06 > 
< 01:28:07 > T: Where we will put our heads between our knees and kiss our own asses goodbye.
< 01:28:08 > 
< 01:28:09 > 
< 01:28:10 > 
< 01:28:11 > 
< 01:28:12 > 
< 01:28:13 > 
< 01:28:14 > 
< 01:28:15 > 
< 01:28:16 > 
< 01:28:17 > M: Once you dig in…you’ll find it…
< 01:28:18 > 
< 01:28:19 > 
< 01:28:20 > 
< 01:28:21 > 
< 01:28:22 > 
< 01:28:23 > T: *snicker* Yeah—oh you were serious.
< 01:28:24 > M: About as much chance as the Expos making the playoffs.
< 01:28:25 > 
< 01:28:26 > 
< 01:28:27 > 
< 01:28:28 > 
< 01:28:29 > 
< 01:28:30 > 
< 01:28:31 > T: It’s his line.
< 01:28:32 > 
< 01:28:33 > 
< 01:28:34 > 
< 01:28:35 > 


< 01:28:36 > 
< 01:28:37 > 
< 01:28:38 > 
< 01:28:39 > 
< 01:28:40 > 
< 01:28:41 > M: Are we there yet?
< 01:28:42 > 
< 01:28:43 > 
< 01:28:44 > 
< 01:28:45 > 
< 01:28:46 > 
< 01:28:47 > 
< 01:28:48 > T: Rocky Mountain Hiiiiiigh
< 01:28:49 > 
< 01:28:50 > 
< 01:28:51 > 
< 01:28:52 > 
< 01:28:53 > 
< 01:28:54 > 
< 01:28:55 > 
< 01:28:56 > 
< 01:28:57 > 
< 01:28:58 > M: For I am the Kwizatz Haderach!
< 01:28:59 > 
< 01:29:00 > 
< 01:29:01 > 
< 01:29:02 > 
< 01:29:03 > 
< 01:29:04 > 
< 01:29:05 > M: I miss Monica Bellucci.
< 01:29:06 > T: Was she in this movie?
< 01:29:07 > 
< 01:29:08 > 
< 01:29:09 > 


< 01:29:10 > 
< 01:29:11 > 
< 01:29:12 > T: The war was called Judgment Day…the human resistance was led by a man named John Connor.  My son.
< 01:29:13 > 
< 01:29:14 > 
< 01:29:15 > 
< 01:29:16 > 
< 01:29:17 > 
< 01:29:18 > 
< 01:29:19 > 
< 01:29:20 > 
< 01:29:21 > 
< 01:29:22 > 
< 01:29:23 > M: This is one butt-ugly set of robots we got here.  Looks like a giant dog turd.
< 01:29:24 > 
< 01:29:25 > 
< 01:29:26 > 
< 01:29:27 > 
< 01:29:28 > 
< 01:29:29 > 
< 01:29:30 > 
< 01:29:31 > T: Say aaaaah
< 01:29:32 > 
< 01:29:33 > 
< 01:29:34 > 
< 01:29:35 > 
< 01:29:36 > 
< 01:29:37 > 
< 01:29:38 > M: This movie makes less sense than the plot of Final Fantasy 7.
< 01:29:39 > 
< 01:29:40 > 
< 01:29:41 > 
< 01:29:42 > 
< 01:29:43 > 
< 01:29:44 > 
< 01:29:45 > 
< 01:29:46 > T: I don’t think they’ve seen us yet.
< 01:29:47 > 
< 01:29:48 > 
< 01:29:49 > 
< 01:29:50 > 
< 01:29:51 > 

< 01:29:52 > 
< 01:29:53 > M: You DID have a plan for this, right?
< 01:29:54 > 
< 01:29:55 > 
< 01:29:56 > 
< 01:29:57 > T: Stop in the name of love!
< 01:29:58 > 
< 01:29:59 > 
< 01:30:00 > 
< 01:30:01 > 
< 01:30:02 > T: Ha ha!  It worked!
< 01:30:03 > M: Have I mentioned yet that I hate this movie and everything about it?
< 01:30:04 > 
< 01:30:05 > 
< 01:30:06 > 
< 01:30:07 > 
< 01:30:08 > T: It’s a rare movie that can make The Chronicles of Riddick seem philosophical and scientifically plausible.
< 01:30:09 > 
< 01:30:10 > 
< 01:30:11 > 
< 01:30:12 > 
< 01:30:13 > 
< 01:30:14 > 
< 01:30:15 > 
< 01:30:16 > 
< 01:30:17 > 
< 01:30:18 > 
< 01:30:19 > 
< 01:30:20 > M: Well would you like to help out?  THANKS!
< 01:30:21 > 
< 01:30:22 > 
< 01:30:23 > 
< 01:30:24 > 
< 01:30:25 > 
< 01:30:26 > 
< 01:30:27 > T: How many shots of sentinels munching on a fleeing hovercraft do you think we’ve seen?
< 01:30:28 > 
< 01:30:29 > 
< 01:30:30 > 
< 01:30:31 > 
< 01:30:32 > M: It’s pushing my walnut sized brain past its limit!

< 01:30:33 > 
< 01:30:34 > 
< 01:30:35 > 
< 01:30:36 > 

< 01:30:37 > 
< 01:30:38 > 
< 01:30:39 > T: Can I see your license and registrat-aaaah!
< 01:30:40 > 
< 01:30:41 > 
< 01:30:42 > 
< 01:30:43 > 
< 01:30:44 > 
< 01:30:45 > 
< 01:30:46 > M: There can be only one!
< 01:30:47 > 
< 01:30:48 > 
< 01:30:49 > 
< 01:30:50 > 
< 01:30:51 > T: But you’re not doing anything!
< 01:30:52 > 
< 01:30:53 > 
< 01:30:54 > 
< 01:30:55 > 
< 01:30:56 > 

< 01:30:57 > 
< 01:30:58 > M: Oh!  Avoid them!  Wow that was a much smarter plan.
< 01:30:59 > 
< 01:31:00 > 
< 01:31:01 > 
< 01:31:02 > 
< 01:31:03 > 
< 01:31:04 > 
< 01:31:05 > 
< 01:31:06 > 
< 01:31:07 > 
< 01:31:08 > T: *1812 overture*
< 01:31:09 > 
< 01:31:10 > 
< 01:31:11 > 
< 01:31:12 > 
< 01:31:13 > 
< 01:31:14 > 
< 01:31:15 > 
< 01:31:16 > 
< 01:31:17 > 
< 01:31:18 > 
< 01:31:19 > 
< 01:31:20 > M: Ah, he used the Bug Zapper technique.
< 01:31:21 > 
< 01:31:22 > 
< 01:31:23 > 
< 01:31:24 > 
< 01:31:25 > 
< 01:31:26 > T: Can you take me hiiiiigher!
< 01:31:27 > 
< 01:31:28 > 
< 01:31:29 > 
< 01:31:30 > 
< 01:31:31 > 
< 01:31:32 > T: I’ve seen clouds from both sides, now.
< 01:31:33 > 
< 01:31:34 > 
< 01:31:35 > 

< 01:31:36 > 
< 01:31:37 > 
< 01:31:38 > M: This is a beautiful and poetic moment for me and that means I’m probably dead meat! 
< 01:31:39 > 
< 01:31:40 > 
< 01:31:41 > 
< 01:31:42 > 
< 01:31:43 > 
< 01:31:44 > 
< 01:31:45 > 
< 01:31:46 > 
< 01:31:47 > 
< 01:31:48 > M: My god, it’s full of stars!
< 01:31:49 > 
< 01:31:50 > 
< 01:31:51 > 
< 01:31:52 > 
< 01:31:53 > 
< 01:31:54 > T: Oh look, Detroit!
< 01:31:55 > 
< 01:31:56 > 
< 01:31:57 > 
< 01:31:58 > 
< 01:31:59 > 
< 01:32:00 > 

< 01:32:01 > 
< 01:32:02 > 
< 01:32:03 > M: Pull on that thing we established earlier in the movie so it can have a really suspenseful payoff.
< 01:32:04 > 
< 01:32:05 > 
< 01:32:06 > 
< 01:32:07 > 
< 01:32:08 > 
< 01:32:09 > 
< 01:32:10 > 
< 01:32:11 > T: You’d think she’d be better at yanking a shaft.
< 01:32:12 > 
< 01:32:13 > 
< 01:32:14 > 
< 01:32:15 > 
< 01:32:16 > 
< 01:32:17 > M: Come on you piece of Japanese--
< 01:32:18 > 
< 01:32:19 > 
< 01:32:20 > 
< 01:32:21 > 
< 01:32:22 > 
< 01:32:23 > 
< 01:32:24 > 
< 01:32:25 > T: Well the airbags didn’t deploy.
< 01:32:26 > 
< 01:32:27 > 
< 01:32:28 > 
< 01:32:29 > 
< 01:32:30 > T: Once again I present to you…Women Drivers.
< 01:32:31 > 
< 01:32:32 > 
< 01:32:33 > 
< 01:32:34 > 
< 01:32:35 > 
< 01:32:36 > 
< 01:32:37 > 
< 01:32:38 > 
< 01:32:39 > M: Whoa, I had a dream I was in an unnecessary sequel full of padding and mindless scenes of stuff blowing up.  Ah crap…
< 01:32:40 > 
< 01:32:41 > 
< 01:32:42 > 
< 01:32:43 > 
< 01:32:44 > 
< 01:32:45 > 
< 01:32:46 > 
< 01:32:47 > 
< 01:32:48 > T: I pooped again.
< 01:32:49 > 
< 01:32:50 > 
< 01:32:51 > 
< 01:32:52 > 
< 01:32:53 > 
< 01:32:54 > 
< 01:32:55 > M: Follow the blood stain.
< 01:32:56 > 
< 01:32:57 > 
< 01:32:58 > 
< 01:32:59 > 
< 01:33:00 > 
< 01:33:01 > 
< 01:33:02 > 
< 01:33:03 > 
< 01:33:04 > T: Keep going, the arm popped off.
< 01:33:05 > 
< 01:33:06 > 
< 01:33:07 > 
< 01:33:08 > 
< 01:33:09 > 
< 01:33:10 > 
< 01:33:11 > M: Oh you beautiful babe, I will take you to live in San Dimas with me.
< 01:33:12 > 
< 01:33:13 > 
< 01:33:14 > 
< 01:33:15 > 
< 01:33:16 > 
< 01:33:17 > 
< 01:33:18 > 
< 01:33:19 > 
< 01:33:20 > 
< 01:33:21 > 
< 01:33:22 > 
< 01:33:23 > 
< 01:33:24 > 
< 01:33:25 > 
< 01:33:26 > 
< 01:33:27 > T: It looks like everything is made of Mountain Dew LiveWire.
< 01:33:28 > 
< 01:33:29 > 
< 01:33:30 > 
< 01:33:31 > 
< 01:33:32 > 
< 01:33:33 > 
< 01:33:34 > M: Could it have anything to do with the sucking chest wound I’m sitting in?
< 01:33:35 > 
< 01:33:36 > 
< 01:33:37 > 
< 01:33:38 > 
< 01:33:39 > 
< 01:33:40 > 
< 01:33:41 > 
< 01:33:42 > 
< 01:33:43 > 
< 01:33:44 > M: Oh her character got the shaft.
< 01:33:45 > 
< 01:33:46 > 
< 01:33:47 > 
< 01:33:48 > T: DAMN YOU, inanimate carbon rods!  Damn you!
< 01:33:49 > 
< 01:33:50 > 
< 01:33:51 > 
< 01:33:52 > M: It’s just a flesh wound.
< 01:33:53 > 
< 01:33:54 > 
< 01:33:55 > T: Aw, it’s time?  So she’s dead now.
< 01:33:56 > 
< 01:33:57 > 
< 01:33:58 > T: Whoops, guess not. 

< 01:33:59 > 
< 01:34:00 > 
< 01:34:01 > 
< 01:34:02 > 
< 01:34:03 > 
< 01:34:04 > 
< 01:34:05 > 
< 01:34:06 > M: Ok, hurry up and die so I can go do it.
< 01:34:07 > 
< 01:34:08 > 
< 01:34:09 > 
< 01:34:10 > 
< 01:34:11 > 
< 01:34:12 > 
< 01:34:13 > T: So that one lady gets stabbed in the gut with a scalpel and she dies immediately.
< 01:34:14 > M: Trinity gets riddled with a half dozen pieces of rebar and she goes on this long?
< 01:34:15 > 
< 01:34:16 > 
< 01:34:17 > 
< 01:34:18 > 
< 01:34:19 > 
< 01:34:20 > 
< 01:34:21 > 
< 01:34:22 > 
< 01:34:23 > 
< 01:34:24 > 
< 01:34:25 > 
< 01:34:26 > 
< 01:34:27 > T: Where did all this rebar come from?
< 01:34:28 > 
< 01:34:29 > 
< 01:34:30 > 
< 01:34:31 > 
< 01:34:32 > 
< 01:34:33 > 
< 01:34:34 > 
< 01:34:35 > M: She’s dead…NOW.
< 01:34:36 > 
< 01:34:37 > M: AGH!
< 01:34:38 > 
< 01:34:39 > 
< 01:34:40 > 
< 01:34:41 > 
< 01:34:42 > 
< 01:34:43 > 
< 01:34:44 > 
< 01:34:45 > T: This is incredible.
< 01:34:46 > 
< 01:34:47 > 
< 01:34:48 > 
< 01:34:49 > 
< 01:34:50 > 
< 01:34:51 > 
< 01:34:52 > 
< 01:34:53 > 
< 01:34:54 > T: This is just…wow…
< 01:34:55 > 
< 01:34:56 > 
< 01:34:57 > 
< 01:34:58 > 
< 01:34:59 > 
< 01:35:00 > 
< 01:35:01 > M: This is the longest death monologue I think I’ve ever heard.
< 01:35:02 > 
< 01:35:03 > 
< 01:35:04 > 
< 01:35:05 > 
< 01:35:06 > 
< 01:35:07 > 
< 01:35:08 > 
< 01:35:09 > 
< 01:35:10 > T: *sigh*
< 01:35:11 > *BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH*
< 01:35:12 > M: Can we just wrap this scene up, please?  What is this, they going for an Oscar or something?
< 01:35:13 > 
< 01:35:14 > 
< 01:35:15 > 
< 01:35:16 > 
< 01:35:17 > 
< 01:35:18 > 
< 01:35:19 > 
< 01:35:20 > 
< 01:35:21 > 
< 01:35:22 > 
< 01:35:23 > 
< 01:35:24 > 
< 01:35:25 > 
< 01:35:26 > 
< 01:35:27 > T: Are you sure you’re even hurt?  You’re still talking.
< 01:35:28 > M: Haven’t her lungs collapsed or something?  Please?
< 01:35:29 > 
< 01:35:30 > 
< 01:35:31 > 
< 01:35:32 > 
< 01:35:33 > 
< 01:35:34 > 
< 01:35:35 > 
< 01:35:36 > 
< 01:35:37 > M: GRAAAAH!!! DIE!! DIE!! I don’t ask for much! WILL YOU JUST DIE!
< 01:35:38 > 
< 01:35:39 > 
< 01:35:40 > 
< 01:35:41 > 
< 01:35:42 > 
< 01:35:43 > 
< 01:35:44 > 
< 01:35:45 > 
< 01:35:46 > 
< 01:35:47 > 
< 01:35:48 > 
< 01:35:49 > T: Oh thank god she’s dead finally.
< 01:35:50 > 
< 01:35:51 > T: NO!!!!  That’s it!  I’m torching the theater.  It’s done!  It’s over!
< 01:35:52 > M: You fool!  You’ll kill us all!
< 01:35:53 > T: You don’t understand!  This scene will never end!  It will never stop!  That’s what it does!  That’s ALL it does!  It keeps going, and it absolutely will not stop until we are DEAD!
< 01:35:54 > M: You’re right.  You’re RIGHT!  Move over, we can use these chairs and pizza boxes as kindling!  AAAAUUUUGGGGHH!!!
< 01:35:55 > T: Oh no, NO!  I forgot my lighter!
< 01:35:56 > M: Idiot!!  Do you know what you’ve done??
< 01:35:57 > T: I know, I’m sorry!
< 01:35:58 > M: We’re never gonna get out of here now!  Who wrote this crap!!  How is this not in violation of the Geneva Convention?
< 01:35:59 > T: All right all right, this is crazy, man, we need to pull it together.  We’re untouchable, man, The Director’s got nothing on us.  It’s just a movie.  
< 01:36:00 > M: Yeah…yeah, ok.  But she won’t die…she JUST WON’T DIE!  Who IS this woman?  She’s taking longer to die than Mr. Orange in Reservoir Dogs!
< 01:36:01 > 
< 01:36:02 > 
< 01:36:03 > 
< 01:36:04 > 
< 01:36:05 > 
< 01:36:06 > 
< 01:36:07 > 
< 01:36:08 > 
< 01:36:09 > 
< 01:36:10 > 
< 01:36:11 > 
< 01:36:12 > 
< 01:36:13 > 
< 01:36:14 > 
< 01:36:15 > 
< 01:36:16 > 
< 01:36:17 > 
< 01:36:18 > 
< 01:36:19 > 
< 01:36:20 > 
< 01:36:21 > 
< 01:36:22 > 
< 01:36:23 > 
< 01:36:24 > 
< 01:36:25 > 
< 01:36:26 > 
< 01:36:27 > 
< 01:36:28 > 
< 01:36:29 > 

< 01:36:30 > 
< 01:36:31 > 
< 01:36:32 > 
< 01:36:33 > 
< 01:36:34 > 
< 01:36:35 > 
< 01:36:36 > 
< 01:36:37 > 
< 01:36:38 > 
< 01:36:39 > 
< 01:36:40 > 
< 01:36:41 > 
< 01:36:42 > 
< 01:36:43 > M: Oh my god…is this it?  Is it done?
< 01:36:44 > T: I think so!  Our long national nightmare is over!
< 01:36:45 > 
< 01:36:46 > M: You’re absolutely sure you forgot your lighter, right?
< 01:36:47 > 
< 01:36:48 > 
< 01:36:49 > 
< 01:36:50 > 
< 01:36:51 > 
< 01:36:52 > 
< 01:36:53 > 
< 01:36:54 > T: Somewhere Bob, two people are falling in love.
< 01:36:55 > 
< 01:36:56 > 
< 01:36:57 > 
< 01:36:58 > 
< 01:36:59 > 
< 01:37:00 > 
< 01:37:01 > 
< 01:37:02 > M: This movie IS actually less entertaining than having your teeth drilled.
< 01:37:03 > 
< 01:37:04 > 
< 01:37:05 > 
< 01:37:06 > 
< 01:37:07 > 
< 01:37:08 > 
< 01:37:09 > T: There’s only one thing we can do.  Dance party!
< 01:37:10 > 
< 01:37:11 > 
< 01:37:12 > 
< 01:37:13 > 
< 01:37:14 > 
< 01:37:15 > 
< 01:37:16 > M: Oh how will this band of brave greasy extras survive?
< 01:37:17 > 
< 01:37:18 > 
< 01:37:19 > 
< 01:37:20 > 
< 01:37:21 > 
< 01:37:22 > 
< 01:37:23 > T: The words “Neo” and “Doing something quick” just never go together.
< 01:37:24 > 
< 01:37:25 > 
< 01:37:26 > 
< 01:37:27 > 
< 01:37:28 > 
< 01:37:29 > 
< 01:37:30 > M: How many people died in the time it took Neo to get away from Trinity?
< 01:37:31 > 
< 01:37:32 > 
< 01:37:33 > 
< 01:37:34 > 
< 01:37:35 > 
< 01:37:36 > 
< 01:37:37 > 
< 01:37:38 > T: WOW!  Another gray, uninteresting shot!
< 01:37:39 > 
< 01:37:40 > 
< 01:37:41 > 
< 01:37:42 > 
< 01:37:43 > 
< 01:37:44 > 
< 01:37:45 > 
< 01:37:46 > M: Rip off Ridley Scott much?
< 01:37:47 > T: Rip off Giger much?
< 01:37:48 > 
< 01:37:49 > 
< 01:37:50 > 
< 01:37:51 > M: Witness…the anus of the great machine world.
< 01:37:52 > 
< 01:37:53 > 
< 01:37:54 > 
< 01:37:55 > 
< 01:37:56 > 
< 01:37:57 > T: Watch, he gets to the big bad machine and challenges him to best 2 out of 3 Battleship or Twister.
< 01:37:58 > 
< 01:37:59 > 
< 01:38:00 > 
< 01:38:01 > 
< 01:38:02 > 
< 01:38:03 > 
< 01:38:04 > 
< 01:38:05 > 
< 01:38:06 > 
< 01:38:07 > T: Jesus parallels?  Walking on water-like stuff?  GET IT?
< 01:38:08 > 
< 01:38:09 > 
< 01:38:10 > 
< 01:38:11 > M: GooooooldNeo…he’s the man with the goooolden touch..
< 01:38:12 > 
< 01:38:13 > 
< 01:38:14 > 

< 01:38:15 > 
< 01:38:16 > 
< 01:38:17 > 
< 01:38:18 > 
< 01:38:19 > 
< 01:38:20 > 
< 01:38:21 > 
< 01:38:22 > 
< 01:38:23 > 
< 01:38:24 > 
< 01:38:25 > T: What has it got in its pocketses?
< 01:38:26 > 
< 01:38:27 > 
< 01:38:28 > 
< 01:38:29 > 
< 01:38:30 > 
< 01:38:31 > 
< 01:38:32 > M: I WANT ROOM SERVICE!
< 01:38:33 > 
< 01:38:34 > 
< 01:38:35 > 
< 01:38:36 > 
< 01:38:37 > 
< 01:38:38 > 
< 01:38:39 > 
< 01:38:40 > 
< 01:38:41 > T: So…what does he do now?  Throw the ring into the lava?
< 01:38:42 > 
< 01:38:43 > 
< 01:38:44 > 
< 01:38:45 > 
< 01:38:46 > 
< 01:38:47 > 
< 01:38:48 > M: Whoa uh, I never really planned on making it this far.  Sorta dunno what to do now.
< 01:38:49 > 
< 01:38:50 > 
< 01:38:51 > 
< 01:38:52 > 
< 01:38:53 > 
< 01:38:54 > 
< 01:38:55 > 
< 01:38:56 > 
< 01:38:57 > 
< 01:38:58 > 
< 01:38:59 > T: Maybe I should have just phoned ahead and made an appointment.
< 01:39:00 > 
< 01:39:01 > 
< 01:39:02 > 
< 01:39:03 > 
< 01:39:04 > 
< 01:39:05 > 


< 01:39:06 > 
< 01:39:07 > 
< 01:39:08 > M: aaah!  Pinhead from Hellraiser!
< 01:39:09 > 
< 01:39:10 > 
< 01:39:11 > T: It’s the mega sea urchin!
< 01:39:12 > 
< 01:39:13 > 
< 01:39:14 > 
< 01:39:15 > 
< 01:39:16 > M: Say cheese.
< 01:39:17 > 
< 01:39:18 > 
< 01:39:19 > 
< 01:39:20 > T: Ow.  Could you like, turn down your brights?
< 01:39:21 > 
< 01:39:22 > 
< 01:39:23 > 
< 01:39:24 > 
< 01:39:25 > 
< 01:39:26 > 
< 01:39:27 > M: And they rip him apart, Neo dies, and the credits roll!
< 01:39:28 > 
< 01:39:29 > 
< 01:39:30 > 
< 01:39:31 > 
< 01:39:32 > 
< 01:39:33 > 
< 01:39:34 > 
< 01:39:35 > 
< 01:39:36 > T: Okay, I need to be persuasive.  I need to be really convincing…gotta come up with something profound.  Something profound.  Something thoughtful.
< 01:39:37 > 
< 01:39:38 > 
< 01:39:39 > 
< 01:39:40 > 
< 01:39:41 > M: Be excellent to each other!
< 01:39:42 > 
< 01:39:43 > 
< 01:39:44 > 
< 01:39:45 > 
< 01:39:46 > 
< 01:39:47 > 
< 01:39:48 > 
< 01:39:49 > 
< 01:39:50 > 
< 01:39:51 > T: Screw you, we were going to shut down the Matrix anyway.  Kiss off.
< 01:39:52 > 
< 01:39:53 > 
< 01:39:54 > 
< 01:39:55 > 
< 01:39:56 > 
< 01:39:57 > 
< 01:39:58 > T: Where the hell is the Architect?
< 01:39:59 > 
< 01:40:00 > 
< 01:40:01 > 
< 01:40:02 > 
< 01:40:03 > M: Not a problem!
< 01:40:04 > 
< 01:40:05 > 
< 01:40:06 > 
< 01:40:07 > 
< 01:40:08 > 
< 01:40:09 > 
< 01:40:10 > T: Will you come back with me for my high school history project?
< 01:40:11 > 
< 01:40:12 > 
< 01:40:13 > 
< 01:40:14 > 
< 01:40:15 > 
< 01:40:16 > 
< 01:40:17 > M: The machines agree, kill every human alive, and live quite peacefully.
< 01:40:18 > 
< 01:40:19 > 
< 01:40:20 > 
< 01:40:21 > 
< 01:40:22 > 
< 01:40:23 > 
< 01:40:24 > T: Tora tora tora!
< 01:40:25 > 
< 01:40:26 > 
< 01:40:27 > 
< 01:40:28 > 
< 01:40:29 > 
< 01:40:30 > 
< 01:40:31 > M: Could this movie be worse than Pearl Harbor?
< 01:40:32 > 
< 01:40:33 > 
< 01:40:34 > 
< 01:40:35 > 
< 01:40:36 > 
< 01:40:37 > 
< 01:40:38 > 
< 01:40:39 > 
< 01:40:40 > T: They’re picking up Howard Stern on the FM band.
< 01:40:41 > M: Yeah!  The King of All Media saves us again!
< 01:40:42 > 
< 01:40:43 > 
< 01:40:44 > 
< 01:40:45 > 
< 01:40:46 > 
< 01:40:47 > 
< 01:40:48 > M: Would you quit busting my balls, woman?
< 01:40:49 > 
< 01:40:50 > 
< 01:40:51 > 
< 01:40:52 > M: Dammit man, your heroism has no place here!
< 01:40:53 > 
< 01:40:54 > 
< 01:40:55 > 
< 01:40:56 > 
< 01:40:57 > T: Ok, let’s go over welfare reform again.
< 01:40:58 > 
< 01:40:59 > 
< 01:41:00 > 
< 01:41:01 > 
< 01:41:02 > 
< 01:41:03 > 
< 01:41:04 > 
< 01:41:05 > M: I thought he could go wireless.
< 01:41:06 > 
< 01:41:07 > 
< 01:41:08 > 
< 01:41:09 > 
< 01:41:10 > 
< 01:41:11 > T: The hand of friendship!  Wow!
< 01:41:12 > 
< 01:41:13 > 
< 01:41:14 > 
< 01:41:15 > 
< 01:41:16 > 
< 01:41:17 > 
< 01:41:18 > 
< 01:41:19 > 
< 01:41:20 > M: Dad’s gonna send me to military school, dude.
< 01:41:21 > 
< 01:41:22 > 
< 01:41:23 > 
< 01:41:24 > 
< 01:41:25 > 
< 01:41:26 > T: Not where I would have stuck it.
< 01:41:27 > 
< 01:41:28 > 
< 01:41:29 > 
< 01:41:30 > T: Hey, I got one.  How do you say goodbye in Zion?  Zionara!
< 01:41:31 > 
< 01:41:32 > 
< 01:41:33 > 
< 01:41:34 > 
< 01:41:35 > 
< 01:41:36 > 
< 01:41:37 > 
< 01:41:38 > 
< 01:41:39 > 
< 01:41:40 > M: It’s like watching millions of little sperms.
< 01:41:41 > 
< 01:41:42 > 
< 01:41:43 > 
< 01:41:44 > 
< 01:41:45 > 
< 01:41:46 > T: …is kind of an idiot.
< 01:41:47 > 
< 01:41:48 > 
< 01:41:49 > 
< 01:41:50 > M: Whoa, check out the acid rain there.
< 01:41:51 > 
< 01:41:52 > 
< 01:41:53 > 
< 01:41:54 > M: What the—holy crap are we in the Matrix?  Only what, 90 minutes into the movie?  Cool.
< 01:41:55 > 
< 01:41:56 > 
< 01:41:57 > 
< 01:41:58 > 
< 01:41:59 > 
< 01:42:00 > 
< 01:42:01 > 
< 01:42:02 > 
< 01:42:03 > 
< 01:42:04 > 
< 01:42:05 > M: These guys are probably mad because they’d never be able to tell each other apart while playing basketball.
< 01:42:06 > T: Well there’s always shirts vs. skins.
< 01:42:07 > 
< 01:42:08 > 
< 01:42:09 > 
< 01:42:10 > 
< 01:42:11 > 
< 01:42:12 > T: How long do you figure all these guys have been standing on the sidewalks waiting for him to walk down this one particular street?
< 01:42:13 > 
< 01:42:14 > 
< 01:42:15 > 
< 01:42:16 > 
< 01:42:17 > 
< 01:42:18 > 
< 01:42:19 > M: *Smith* You know what the difference is between us Mr. Anderson?
< 01:42:20 > *We make this look good.*
< 01:42:21 > 
< 01:42:22 > 
< 01:42:23 > 
< 01:42:24 > 
< 01:42:25 > 
< 01:42:26 > 
< 01:42:27 > T: This could take a while if he’s planning to kung-fu fight 5 billion or so Smiths.
< 01:42:28 > 
< 01:42:29 > 
< 01:42:30 > 
< 01:42:31 > 
< 01:42:32 > M: Wazzup?
< 01:42:33 > 
< 01:42:34 > 
< 01:42:35 > *Good, Bad, & Ugly theme*
< 01:42:36 > 
< 01:42:37 > 
< 01:42:38 > 
< 01:42:39 > 
< 01:42:40 > 
< 01:42:41 > T: Well the fashion scene is kinda dead.
< 01:42:42 > 
< 01:42:43 > 
< 01:42:44 > 
< 01:42:45 > M: What?  Can’t—can’t hear you from over there.
< 01:42:46 > 
< 01:42:47 > 
< 01:42:48 > 
< 01:42:49 > 
< 01:42:50 > 
< 01:42:51 > 
< 01:42:52 > M: Hah! 
< 01:42:53 > 
< 01:42:54 > 
< 01:42:55 > 
< 01:42:56 > 
< 01:42:57 > T: It would actually be interesting and logical for all my clones to attack you, so we won’t do it.
< 01:42:58 > 
< 01:42:59 > 
< 01:43:00 > 
< 01:43:01 > 
< 01:43:02 > 
< 01:43:03 > M: Wow this is great, isn’t it?  A largely meaningless brawl that basically solves nothing even if either one of them wins.
< 01:43:04 > 
< 01:43:05 > 
< 01:43:06 > 
< 01:43:07 > 
< 01:43:08 > 
< 01:43:09 > 
< 01:43:10 > 
< 01:43:11 > T: You know it’s epic when they crank up the Carmina Burana and slow it way way down.
< 01:43:12 > 
< 01:43:13 > 
< 01:43:14 > 
< 01:43:15 > M: Give it a chance, maybe they’ll show us something we haven’t seen before.
< 01:43:16 >M: Oh, I guess not. 
< 01:43:17 > 
< 01:43:18 > 
< 01:43:19 > 
< 01:43:20 > 
< 01:43:21 > 
< 01:43:22 > 
< 01:43:23 > 
< 01:43:24 > 
< 01:43:25 > 
< 01:43:26 > T: It’d be great if the French guy just ran into view and drilled them both with a folding chair.
< 01:43:27 > 
< 01:43:28 > 
< 01:43:29 > 
< 01:43:30 > 
< 01:43:31 > 
< 01:43:32 > M: *slo mo* Eaaatt fiiiiist
< 01:43:33 > 
< 01:43:34 > T: Ohhh!  I haven’t seen a battle between two white boys so epic since Horshach vs. Screech at Celebrity boxing.
< 01:43:35 > 
< 01:43:36 > 
< 01:43:37 > 
< 01:43:38 > 
< 01:43:39 > 
< 01:43:40 > T: Arrgh!
< 01:43:41 > M: There’s dirt up my crack, Mr. Anderson.  You put it there.
< 01:43:42 > 
< 01:43:43 > 
< 01:43:44 > T: KHAAAAAN!
< 01:43:45 > 
< 01:43:46 > 
< 01:43:47 > 
< 01:43:48 > 
< 01:43:49 > M: Ooooooh

< 01:43:50 > T: Someone broke major wind.
< 01:43:51 > 
< 01:43:52 > 
< 01:43:53 > 
< 01:43:54 > 
< 01:43:55 > M: Pull his jacket over his head like in hockey!
< 01:43:56 > 
< 01:43:57 > 
< 01:43:58 > 
< 01:43:59 > T: *Neo* I will kill him!
< 01:44:00 > 
< 01:44:01 > 
< 01:44:02 > 
< 01:44:03 > M: Stick like Spider-Maaaaan!
< 01:44:04 > 
< 01:44:05 > 
< 01:44:06 > 
< 01:44:07 > 
< 01:44:08 > 
< 01:44:09 > M: Ah ha!  But you forget that after I win, I’m going back in time and hiding this gun for myself!
< 01:44:10 > 
< 01:44:11 > 
< 01:44:12 > 
< 01:44:13 > 
< 01:44:14 > 
< 01:44:15 > 
< 01:44:16 > T: Supermaaaan!
< 01:44:17 > 
< 01:44:18 > 
< 01:44:19 > M:  *screeeeech!*
< 01:44:20 > 
< 01:44:21 > 
< 01:44:22 > 
< 01:44:23 > T: This is rapidly descending into Dragonball Z levels of stupid posturing.
< 01:44:24 > 
< 01:44:25 > 
< 01:44:26 > 
< 01:44:27 > M: My wire team is superior!  Your wire team is weak!
< 01:44:28 > 
< 01:44:29 > 
< 01:44:30 > T: *spring noise*
< 01:44:31 > 
< 01:44:32 > 
< 01:44:33 > 
< 01:44:34 > T: Might I suggest we settle this with a rousing game of Electronic Football?
< 01:44:35 > 
< 01:44:36 > 
< 01:44:37 > 
< 01:44:38 > 
< 01:44:39 > 
< 01:44:40 > M: *Smith* You always did fight like a girl, Mr. Anderson.
< 01:44:41 > 
< 01:44:42 > 
< 01:44:43 > 
< 01:44:44 > 
< 01:44:45 > T: How appropriate, you fight like a cow.  Uh…wait that doesn’t work.
< 01:44:46 > 
< 01:44:47 > 
< 01:44:48 > 
< 01:44:49 > 
< 01:44:50 > M: Can you feel the love tonight?
< 01:44:51 > 
< 01:44:52 > 
< 01:44:53 > T: Foxy lady…comin’ ta GETCHA!
< 01:44:54 > 
< 01:44:55 > 
< 01:44:56 > 
< 01:44:57 > 
< 01:44:58 > 
< 01:44:59 > 
< 01:45:00 > 
< 01:45:01 > 
< 01:45:02 > 
< 01:45:03 > 
< 01:45:04 > M: To watch hockey?
< 01:45:05 > 
< 01:45:06 > 
< 01:45:07 > 
< 01:45:08 > T: Whatever!  Just end the movie first!
< 01:45:09 > 
< 01:45:10 > M: Oh that is so totally bogus.
< 01:45:11 > 
< 01:45:12 > 
< 01:45:13 > 
< 01:45:14 > 
< 01:45:15 > T: Oh flip me off, that’s real mature.
< 01:45:16 > 
< 01:45:17 > 
< 01:45:18 > 
< 01:45:19 > 
< 01:45:20 > 
< 01:45:21 > M: My name…is GOKU!
< 01:45:22 > 
< 01:45:23 > 
< 01:45:24 > 
< 01:45:25 > T: Give me five!
< 01:45:26 > 
< 01:45:27 > 

< 01:45:28 > M: That’s so cute!
< 01:45:29 > 
< 01:45:30 > 
< 01:45:31 > 
< 01:45:32 > T: Hey check it out, they’re dry.
< 01:45:33 > M: *Liu Kang noises*
< 01:45:34 > 
< 01:45:35 > 
< 01:45:36 > M: *slo mo* You diiieeee Joeeeeee
< 01:45:37 > 
< 01:45:38 > 
< 01:45:39 > 
< 01:45:40 > 
< 01:45:41 > 
< 01:45:42 > 
< 01:45:43 > 
< 01:45:44 > 
< 01:45:45 > M: Enough with the bullet time, jeez!
< 01:45:46 > 
< 01:45:47 > 
< 01:45:48 > 
< 01:45:49 > 
< 01:45:50 > T: Haiiiii keeeeeebaaaaaa
< 01:45:51 > 
< 01:45:52 > 
< 01:45:53 > M: Keanu Reeves in The Karate Dude.
< 01:45:54 > 
< 01:45:55 > 
< 01:45:56 > 
< 01:45:57 > 
< 01:45:58 > 
< 01:45:59 > 
< 01:46:00 > T: Shoryuken!
< 01:46:01 > 
< 01:46:02 > 
< 01:46:03 > 
< 01:46:04 > M: GRRRR!
< 01:46:05 > 
< 01:46:06 > T: *goofy scream*
< 01:46:07 > 
< 01:46:08 > M: The kick is up!  The Patriots win!
< 01:46:09 > 
< 01:46:10 > 
< 01:46:11 > 
< 01:46:12 > 
< 01:46:13 > 
< 01:46:14 > T: Whaddo you do?  Shoot the hostage.
< 01:46:15 > 
< 01:46:16 > 
< 01:46:17 > M: I’m singing in the rain, Mr. Anderson.
< 01:46:18 > 
< 01:46:19 > T: AAAAH!!!
< 01:46:20 > 
< 01:46:21 > 
< 01:46:22 > 
< 01:46:23 > M: Seen it.
< 01:46:24 > T: Wasn’t really impressed then, either.
< 01:46:25 > 
< 01:46:26 > 
< 01:46:27 > 
< 01:46:28 > 
< 01:46:29 > 
< 01:46:30 > 
< 01:46:31 > T: Move out of the way, I can’t see.
< 01:46:32 > M: You’re too tall!
< 01:46:33 > 
< 01:46:34 > 
< 01:46:35 > 
< 01:46:36 > 
< 01:46:37 > 
< 01:46:38 > T: It was a green and stormy night.
< 01:46:39 > 
< 01:46:40 > 
< 01:46:41 > 
< 01:46:42 > M: I guess they’re just THUNDERSTRUUUUUCK!
< 01:46:43 > 
< 01:46:44 > 
< 01:46:45 > 
< 01:46:46 > 
< 01:46:47 > 
< 01:46:48 > T: Well, back at it.
< 01:46:49 > 
< 01:46:50 > 
< 01:46:51 > M: TETSUO!!!!
< 01:46:52 > T: KANEDAAA!
< 01:46:53 > 
< 01:46:54 > 
< 01:46:55 > 
< 01:46:56 > 
< 01:46:57 > T: I lost my shades, Mr. Anderson…
< 01:46:58 > 
< 01:46:59 > 
< 01:47:00 > M: *Liu Kang kick sound*
< 01:47:01 > 
< 01:47:02 > 
< 01:47:03 > 
< 01:47:04 > T: Fakey!
< 01:47:05 > M: Giant robots and posturing, must be the Power Rangers.
< 01:47:06 > 
< 01:47:07 > 
< 01:47:08 > 
< 01:47:09 > 
< 01:47:10 > T: The hell is he DOING out there?
< 01:47:11 > 
< 01:47:12 > 
< 01:47:13 > 
< 01:47:14 > M: Hey, he’s taking A Walk In the Clouds!  Ho ho!  Ho!  Oh god…
< 01:47:15 > 
< 01:47:16 > 
< 01:47:17 > 
< 01:47:18 > 
< 01:47:19 > T: Take 3!  STILL DON’T CARE!
< 01:47:20 > 
< 01:47:21 > M: And then he strikes, like Thunderball.
< 01:47:22 > 
< 01:47:23 > 
< 01:47:24 > 
< 01:47:25 > 
< 01:47:26 > M: I love watching two CG people bounce off each other for 10 minutes.
< 01:47:27 > 
< 01:47:28 > 
< 01:47:29 > 
< 01:47:30 > 
< 01:47:31 > T: KAMEHAMEHA!
< 01:47:32 > 
< 01:47:33 > 
< 01:47:34 > 
< 01:47:35 > T: Rock lobster!  Down!  Down!
< 01:47:36 > 
< 01:47:37 > 
< 01:47:38 > 
< 01:47:39 > 
< 01:47:40 > 
< 01:47:41 > M: Oooh he’s got a death grip on his nipples.
< 01:47:42 > T: Just hold me!
< 01:47:43 > 
< 01:47:44 > M: EAT THIS, LITTLE BUDDHA!
< 01:47:45 > 
< 01:47:46 > 
< 01:47:47 > T: Please let the ground be rubbery like last tiiiime!
< 01:47:48 > 
< 01:47:49 > 
< 01:47:50 > 
< 01:47:51 > 
< 01:47:52 > 
< 01:47:53 > M: It’s Independence Day, nooo!
< 01:47:54 > 
< 01:47:55 > 
< 01:47:56 > T: It’s the biggest repetition in this special effect yet!
< 01:47:57 > M: Man they took one trick and just rode it into the ground.  So to speak.
< 01:47:58 > 
< 01:47:59 > 
< 01:48:00 > T: You think the Cubs will go all the way this year?
< 01:48:01 > M: You kidding?  They’ve got Nomar.
< 01:48:02 > 
< 01:48:03 > 
< 01:48:04 > 
< 01:48:05 > 
< 01:48:06 > T: Wow, that’s one bigassed pothole.
< 01:48:07 > 
< 01:48:08 > 
< 01:48:09 > 
< 01:48:10 > M: Bill Gates is cloning himself!
< 01:48:11 > 
< 01:48:12 > 
< 01:48:13 > 
< 01:48:14 > T: Look at the right, it’s where they buried Hoffa.
< 01:48:15 > 
< 01:48:16 > 
< 01:48:17 > 
< 01:48:18 > M: Hugo Weaving in The Shawshank Redemption.
< 01:48:19 > 
< 01:48:20 > 
< 01:48:21 > 
< 01:48:22 > 
< 01:48:23 > M: So why did we even bother with the idea that he can copy himself to infinity if he doesn’t use it when it matters most!  He’s gonna get up!
< 01:48:24 > 
< 01:48:25 > 
< 01:48:26 > 
< 01:48:27 > 
< 01:48:28 > 
< 01:48:29 > T: Oh Trinity, faster…yeah…
< 01:48:30 > 
< 01:48:31 > 
< 01:48:32 > M: Would you like to jump around and stuff some more?
< 01:48:33 > 
< 01:48:34 > 
< 01:48:35 > 
< 01:48:36 > T: And now I gloat over you for 5 minutes when I should just kill you instead.
< 01:48:37 > 
< 01:48:38 > 
< 01:48:39 > 
< 01:48:40 > 
< 01:48:41 > 
< 01:48:42 > 
< 01:48:43 > 
< 01:48:44 > 
< 01:48:45 > 
< 01:48:46 > 
< 01:48:47 > 
< 01:48:48 > 
< 01:48:49 > M: Why can’t you just let this movie end?
< 01:48:50 > 
< 01:48:51 > 
< 01:48:52 > 
< 01:48:53 > T: Why do you DRESS like that?
< 01:48:54 > 
< 01:48:55 > 
< 01:48:56 > 
< 01:48:57 > M: Why…why a third movie?  Why?
< 01:48:58 > 
< 01:48:59 > 
< 01:49:00 > 
< 01:49:01 > 
< 01:49:02 > 
< 01:49:03 > 
< 01:49:04 > T: Ya pussywhipped little…
< 01:49:05 > 
< 01:49:06 > 
< 01:49:07 > M: Hang on…got the wind knocked out of me.
< 01:49:08 > 
< 01:49:09 > 
< 01:49:10 > 
< 01:49:11 > 
< 01:49:12 > 
< 01:49:13 > 
< 01:49:14 > 
< 01:49:15 > 
< 01:49:16 > 
< 01:49:17 > 
< 01:49:18 > 
< 01:49:19 > 
< 01:49:20 > 
< 01:49:21 > 
< 01:49:22 > 
< 01:49:23 > *blah blah blah blah*
< 01:49:24 > 
< 01:49:25 > 
< 01:49:26 > 
< 01:49:27 > 
< 01:49:28 > T: This movie is without meaning or purpose!
< 01:49:29 > M: End!
< 01:49:30 > 
< 01:49:31 > 
< 01:49:32 > 
< 01:49:33 > 
< 01:49:34 > 
< 01:49:35 > 
< 01:49:36 > M: Yes yes, humans are superior because they can love.  JUMP UP MY BUTT!
< 01:49:37 > 
< 01:49:38 > 
< 01:49:39 > 
< 01:49:40 > 
< 01:49:41 > 
< 01:49:42 > 
< 01:49:43 > 
< 01:49:44 > 
< 01:49:45 > T: Look just kill me dude.
< 01:49:46 > 
< 01:49:47 > 
< 01:49:48 > 
< 01:49:49 > 
< 01:49:50 > 
< 01:49:51 > 
< 01:49:52 > M: Well because you keep giving me all the time I need to get up again.
< 01:49:53 > 
< 01:49:54 > 
< 01:49:55 > 
< 01:49:56 > 
< 01:49:57 > 

T: That’s it?  Kind of circular reasoning, really.
< 01:49:58 > 
< 01:49:59 > 
< 01:50:00 > 
< 01:50:01 > 
< 01:50:02 > M: Why is this fight so pointless?  Why why why?
< 01:50:03 > 
< 01:50:04 > 
< 01:50:05 > 
< 01:50:06 > 
< 01:50:07 > 
< 01:50:08 > 
< 01:50:09 > M: So…this entire conflict has really gone nowhere.  Evolved into nothing.
< 01:50:10 > 
< 01:50:11 > 
< 01:50:12 > 
< 01:50:13 > 
< 01:50:14 > T: New joke going ‘round!
< 01:50:15 > T: What did the five fingers say to the face?
< 01:50:16 > M: SLAAAAAAAAAAP!
< 01:50:17 > 
< 01:50:18 > 
< 01:50:19 > 
< 01:50:20 > 
< 01:50:21 > 
< 01:50:22 > 
< 01:50:23 > M: I’m Rick James, bitch!
< 01:50:24 > 
< 01:50:25 > 
< 01:50:26 > 
< 01:50:27 > T: *Rocky theme* Getting strong noooow!
< 01:50:28 > 
< 01:50:29 > 
< 01:50:30 > 
< 01:50:31 > 

M: Making it slower does not make it more dramatic!!
< 01:50:32 > 
< 01:50:33 > 
< 01:50:34 > T: Now drop a piano on his head!
< 01:50:35 > 
< 01:50:36 > 
< 01:50:37 > 
< 01:50:38 > 
< 01:50:39 > M: Now he starts air guitaring in victory.
< 01:50:40 > 
< 01:50:41 > 
< 01:50:42 > 
< 01:50:43 > T: Never have so many spent so much money, and done so little.
< 01:50:44 > 
< 01:50:45 > 
< 01:50:46 > 
< 01:50:47 > 
< 01:50:48 > M: Ok, which one of you had the next number?
< 01:50:49 > T: I’m 45, is anyone here #2?
< 01:50:50 > 
< 01:50:51 > 
< 01:50:52 > 
< 01:50:53 > 
< 01:50:54 > 
< 01:50:55 > M: Keanu Reeves in Jurassic Park 4.
< 01:50:56 > T: Whoa, a T-Rex…
< 01:50:57 > 
< 01:50:58 > 
< 01:50:59 > 
< 01:51:00 > 
< 01:51:01 > M: KOOL-AID!  OH YEAH!
< 01:51:02 > 
< 01:51:03 > 
< 01:51:04 > 
< 01:51:05 > 
< 01:51:06 > T: He’s SuperLawyer!
< 01:51:07 > 
< 01:51:08 > 
< 01:51:09 > 
< 01:51:10 > 
< 01:51:11 > M: And now they discover their true love for each other.
< 01:51:12 > 
< 01:51:13 > 
< 01:51:14 > 
< 01:51:15 > 
< 01:51:16 > 
< 01:51:17 > 
< 01:51:18 > 
< 01:51:19 > T: This is for Chain Reaction, you bastard!
< 01:51:20 > 
< 01:51:21 > 
< 01:51:22 > 
< 01:51:23 > 
< 01:51:24 > 
< 01:51:25 > 
< 01:51:26 > 
< 01:51:27 > 
< 01:51:28 > T: Well that sort of deflates my argument against him using his clones.  I stand corrected.
< 01:51:29 > 
< 01:51:30 > 
< 01:51:31 > 
< 01:51:32 > 
< 01:51:33 > 
< 01:51:34 > 
< 01:51:35 > M: This was 2 minutes ago when I wasted my time talking instead of killing you!
< 01:51:36 > 
< 01:51:37 > 
< 01:51:38 > 
< 01:51:39 > 


< 01:51:40 > 
< 01:51:41 > 
< 01:51:42 > 
< 01:51:43 > 
< 01:51:44 > 
< 01:51:45 > M: I..I take my pants off, no wait that’s stupid…
< 01:51:46 > 
< 01:51:47 > 
< 01:51:48 > 
< 01:51:49 > 
< 01:51:50 > 
< 01:51:51 > T: Bababooey—what the hell?
< 01:51:52 > 
< 01:51:53 > 
< 01:51:54 > 
< 01:51:55 > 
< 01:51:56 > 
< 01:51:57 > 
< 01:51:58 > M: No that wasn’t it…it was—oh yeah, it was “All your base are belong to us.”
< 01:51:59 > 
< 01:52:00 > 
< 01:52:01 > 
< 01:52:02 > 
< 01:52:03 > 
< 01:52:04 > 
< 01:52:05 > 
< 01:52:06 > 
< 01:52:07 > T: Eew no, that’s stupid.  Hang on let me think of something badass.
< 01:52:08 > 
< 01:52:09 > 
< 01:52:10 > 
< 01:52:11 > 
< 01:52:12 > M: Hang on.  Line!
< 01:52:13 > 

T: Uh.  Definitely had something to do with llamas.  Just a sec.  OOOH on the tip of my tongue.
< 01:52:14 > 
< 01:52:15 > 
< 01:52:16 > 
< 01:52:17 > 
< 01:52:18 > 
< 01:52:19 > 
< 01:52:20 > 
< 01:52:21 > 
< 01:52:22 > T: No…is this really all the Wachowskis could come up with?
< 01:52:23 > 
< 01:52:24 > 
< 01:52:25 > 
< 01:52:26 > 
< 01:52:27 > 
< 01:52:28 > M: Hey I bet you hear “Get away from me” a lot.
< 01:52:29 > T: Only by girls.  Then they mace me.
< 01:52:30 > 
< 01:52:31 > 
< 01:52:32 > 
< 01:52:33 > 
< 01:52:34 > 
< 01:52:35 > T: Diet Dr. Pepper does taste more like the regular.
< 01:52:36 > 
< 01:52:37 > 
< 01:52:38 > 
< 01:52:39 > 
< 01:52:40 > 
< 01:52:41 > 
< 01:52:42 > 
< 01:52:43 > M: Will you marry me?
< 01:52:44 > 
< 01:52:45 > 
< 01:52:46 > 
< 01:52:47 > T: Ohhhh right in the package!
< 01:52:48 > 
< 01:52:49 > 
< 01:52:50 > 
< 01:52:51 > 
< 01:52:52 > 
< 01:52:53 > M: Eeew he’s being fisted!
< 01:52:54 > 
< 01:52:55 > 
< 01:52:56 > 
< 01:52:57 > 
< 01:52:58 > T: Black tar heroin.  The writer’s best friend!
< 01:52:59 > 
< 01:53:00 > 
< 01:53:01 > 
< 01:53:02 > 
< 01:53:03 > 
< 01:53:04 > M: Uhhh my hand’s stuck.  Ah crap.
< 01:53:05 > 
< 01:53:06 > 
< 01:53:07 > 
< 01:53:08 > 
< 01:53:09 > 
< 01:53:10 > 
< 01:53:11 > T: Well one thing’s for sure.  This clone will be profoundly stupid.
< 01:53:12 > 
< 01:53:13 > 
< 01:53:14 > 
< 01:53:15 > 
< 01:53:16 > M: Ohhh I pray it is.
< 01:53:17 > 
< 01:53:18 > 
< 01:53:19 > 
< 01:53:20 > 
< 01:53:21 > T: Ah man I need to get these clothes dry cleaned.  This is my only set.
< 01:53:22 > 
< 01:53:23 > 
< 01:53:24 > 
< 01:53:25 > 
< 01:53:26 > 
< 01:53:27 > T: *ACHOO*
< 01:53:28 > 
< 01:53:29 > 
< 01:53:30 > 
< 01:53:31 > M: Do I really have a gap in my teeth?
< 01:53:32 > 
< 01:53:33 > 
< 01:53:34 > T: Aaah the massage chair is going haywire!
< 01:53:35 > 
< 01:53:36 > 
< 01:53:37 > M: Too much symbolism!  Aaah my eyes!
< 01:53:38 > 
< 01:53:39 > 
< 01:53:40 > 
< 01:53:41 > 
< 01:53:42 > 
< 01:53:43 > T: Ulp!  It’s the big one!
< 01:53:44 > M: Elizabeth!
< 01:53:45 > 
< 01:53:46 > 
< 01:53:47 > 
< 01:53:48 > T: Theeee hell?
< 01:53:49 > 
< 01:53:50 > 
< 01:53:51 > M: I can’t be known as a guy who got his ass kicked by Keanu Reeves!
< 01:53:52 > 
< 01:53:53 > 
< 01:53:54 > 
< 01:53:55 > 
< 01:53:56 > T: *BURP*
< 01:53:57 > 
< 01:53:58 > 
< 01:53:59 > 
< 01:54:00 > 
< 01:54:01 > 
< 01:54:02 > 
< 01:54:03 > 
< 01:54:04 > M: Okay!  No problem!  Could just be an isolated case of spontaneous human combustion…
< 01:54:05 > 
< 01:54:06 > 
< 01:54:07 > 
< 01:54:08 > T: Ohhhh shit!
< 01:54:09 > 
< 01:54:10 > 
< 01:54:11 > 
< 01:54:12 > 
< 01:54:13 > 
< 01:54:14 > 
< 01:54:15 > 
< 01:54:16 > 
< 01:54:17 > M: Ohhh I don’t feel so good!  Urrrrk!  *FART*
< 01:54:18 > 
< 01:54:19 > 
< 01:54:20 > 
< 01:54:21 > T: Help me Max Headroom!
< 01:54:22 > 
< 01:54:23 > 
< 01:54:24 > 
< 01:54:25 > M: What the--
< 01:54:26 > T: Huh?
< 01:54:27 > 
< 01:54:28 > M: Oh good, and on top of not answering any of the nagging questions about the Matrix, the ending makes no sense.
< 01:54:29 > 
< 01:54:30 > 
< 01:54:31 > 
< 01:54:32 > 
< 01:54:33 > 
< 01:54:34 > T: Yeah yeah, he’s the Christ figure.  WE GET IT.
< 01:54:35 > M: Okay neat, wow, he’s all spread out like the crucifix.  Neato.
< 01:54:36 > 
< 01:54:37 > 
< 01:54:38 > 
< 01:54:39 > 
< 01:54:40 > T: They must have just had a checklist on hand and started ticking off the “Power of Myth” hero archetypes one by one as they wrote this.
< 01:54:41 > 
< 01:54:42 > 
< 01:54:43 > 
< 01:54:44 > 
< 01:54:45 > 
< 01:54:46 > 
< 01:54:47 > 
< 01:54:48 > 
< 01:54:49 > 
< 01:54:50 > 
< 01:54:51 > M: And Neo’s journey ends where most of his days began.  Face down in sewage.
< 01:54:52 > 
< 01:54:53 > 
< 01:54:54 > 
< 01:54:55 > 
< 01:54:56 > 
< 01:54:57 > 
< 01:54:58 > 
< 01:54:59 > T: And all of this is powered by naked people in cans!
< 01:55:00 > 
< 01:55:01 > 
< 01:55:02 > 
< 01:55:03 > 
< 01:55:04 > 
< 01:55:05 > 
< 01:55:06 > 
< 01:55:07 > 
< 01:55:08 > 
< 01:55:09 > M: Well, bye!
< 01:55:10 > 
< 01:55:11 > 
< 01:55:12 > 
< 01:55:13 > M: I can’t believe that San Dimas moron actually did it!
< 01:55:14 > 
< 01:55:15 > 
< 01:55:16 > 
< 01:55:17 > 
< 01:55:18 > 
< 01:55:19 > T: I’m sure that angry guy can find something to be pissed off about soon enough.
< 01:55:20 > 
< 01:55:21 > 
< 01:55:22 > 
< 01:55:23 > M: Ok guys, wheel in the neutron bomb!
< 01:55:24 > 
< 01:55:25 > 
< 01:55:26 > 
< 01:55:27 > 
< 01:55:28 > 
< 01:55:29 > 
< 01:55:30 > T: Oh holy Neo, we praise thy name.
< 01:55:31 > 
< 01:55:32 > 
< 01:55:33 > 
< 01:55:34 > 
< 01:55:35 > M: Jerome, you ever just want to slap people and you don’t know why?
< 01:55:36 > 
< 01:55:37 > 
< 01:55:38 > 
< 01:55:39 > 
< 01:55:40 > 
< 01:55:41 > 
< 01:55:42 > 
< 01:55:43 > 
< 01:55:44 > 
< 01:55:45 > 
< 01:55:46 > T: Got his ass kicked and failed!
< 01:55:47 > 
< 01:55:48 > 
< 01:55:49 > 
< 01:55:50 > 
< 01:55:51 > M: Good good! Now shut up!
< 01:55:52 > 
< 01:55:53 > 
< 01:55:54 > 
< 01:55:55 > T: That is one annoying kid.
< 01:55:56 > 
< 01:55:57 > 
< 01:55:58 > 
< 01:55:59 > 
< 01:56:00 > 
< 01:56:01 > M: When does the concert start?
< 01:56:02 > 
< 01:56:03 > 
< 01:56:04 > 
< 01:56:05 > 
< 01:56:06 > T: He better not burst into song.
< 01:56:07 > 
< 01:56:08 > 
< 01:56:09 > 
< 01:56:10 > 
< 01:56:11 > 
< 01:56:12 > 
< 01:56:13 > M: Whoaaa 3,000 sweaty people just raised their arms at once.  WHEW!
< 01:56:14 > 
< 01:56:15 > 
< 01:56:16 > 
< 01:56:17 > 
< 01:56:18 > 
< 01:56:19 > 
< 01:56:20 > 
< 01:56:21 > T: Oh and by the way!  There is some bad acid circulating in the crowd!
< 01:56:22 > 
< 01:56:23 > 
< 01:56:24 > 
< 01:56:25 > M: Well, hell of a day, ain’t it?
< 01:56:26 > T: Sure is, Reg.
< 01:56:27 > 
< 01:56:28 > 
< 01:56:29 > 
< 01:56:30 > 
< 01:56:31 > 
< 01:56:32 > 
< 01:56:33 > T: Me too, baby.  Me too.
< 01:56:34 > 
< 01:56:35 > 
< 01:56:36 > 
< 01:56:37 > M: Now how about me and you get outta here and shake these pillars.
< 01:56:38 > 
< 01:56:39 > 
< 01:56:40 > 
< 01:56:41 > 
< 01:56:42 > 
< 01:56:43 > 
< 01:56:44 > 
< 01:56:45 > T: It’s about time she realized that Locke was a total douche.
< 01:56:46 > 
< 01:56:47 > 
< 01:56:48 > 
< 01:56:49 > 
< 01:56:50 > 
< 01:56:51 > M: Never come back!
< 01:56:52 > 
< 01:56:53 > 
< 01:56:54 > 
< 01:56:55 > 
< 01:56:56 > T: Neo was sainted by the Pope that month.  A temple to the Wyld Stallyns was erected in his honor, where people air guitar constantly to honor him.
< 01:56:57 > 
< 01:56:58 > 
< 01:56:59 > 
< 01:57:00 > 
< 01:57:01 > 
< 01:57:02 > 
< 01:57:03 > 
< 01:57:04 > 
< 01:57:05 > M: Well, the only symbolism left to ram down our throats is Arthurian parallelism.
< 01:57:06 > 
< 01:57:07 > 
< 01:57:08 > 
< 01:57:09 > 
< 01:57:10 > 
< 01:57:11 > T: Wait!  Look!  He’s being taken to Avalon on a barge!
< 01:57:12 > M: Arthurian symbolism!
< 01:57:13 > *GOAAAAAL!!!!*
< 01:57:14 > 
< 01:57:15 > 
< 01:57:16 > 
< 01:57:17 > 
< 01:57:18 > 
< 01:57:19 > 
< 01:57:20 > 
< 01:57:21 > 
< 01:57:22 > 
< 01:57:23 > 
< 01:57:24 > 
< 01:57:25 > 
< 01:57:26 > 
< 01:57:27 > M: Ah, and now the last shot of the movie focuses on an evil cat and his shifty eyes as a cliffhanger.
< 01:57:28 > 
< 01:57:29 > 
< 01:57:30 > 
< 01:57:31 > 
< 01:57:32 > 
< 01:57:33 > 
< 01:57:34 > 
< 01:57:35 > 
< 01:57:36 > 
< 01:57:37 > T: Hello!  I’m an annoying child!
< 01:57:38 > 
< 01:57:39 > 
< 01:57:40 > M: I don’t need to put up with this.
< 01:57:41 > 
< 01:57:42 > 
< 01:57:43 > 
< 01:57:44 > 
< 01:57:45 > 
< 01:57:46 > 
< 01:57:47 > *Stayin’ Alive music*
< 01:57:48 > 
< 01:57:49 > 
< 01:57:50 > T: COLONEL SANDERS!
< 01:57:51 > M: KFC is the ultimate secret of the Matrix!  I KNEW he was up to something!
< 01:57:52 > 
< 01:57:53 > 
< 01:57:54 > 
< 01:57:55 > 
< 01:57:56 > T: Well if he created Neo, he did chicken right.
< 01:57:57 > 
< 01:57:58 > 
< 01:57:59 > 
< 01:58:00 > 
< 01:58:01 > 
< 01:58:02 > 
< 01:58:03 > 
< 01:58:04 > 
< 01:58:05 > M: Hey babe.  You’re lookin’ good.
< 01:58:06 > 
< 01:58:07 > 
< 01:58:08 > 
< 01:58:09 > 
< 01:58:10 > 
< 01:58:11 > 
< 01:58:12 > 
< 01:58:13 > T: Until the next frigging sequel, no doubt.
< 01:58:14 > 
< 01:58:15 > 
< 01:58:16 > 
< 01:58:17 > 
< 01:58:18 > 
< 01:58:19 > 
< 01:58:20 > 
< 01:58:21 > 
< 01:58:22 > M: Hah!  Church’s chicken is nothing compared to my empire!
< 01:58:23 > 
< 01:58:24 > 
< 01:58:25 > 
< 01:58:26 > 
< 01:58:27 > 
< 01:58:28 > 
< 01:58:29 > 
< 01:58:30 > 
< 01:58:31 > T: I want out!  Free me!
< 01:58:32 > 
< 01:58:33 > 
< 01:58:34 > 
< 01:58:35 > *OOOOH!*
< 01:58:36 > M: Total human diss there, meatbag!
< 01:58:37 > 
< 01:58:38 > 
< 01:58:39 > T: I gotta go, that Popcorn Chicken doesn’t make itself.
< 01:58:40 > 
< 01:58:41 > 
< 01:58:42 > 
< 01:58:43 > 
< 01:58:44 > 
< 01:58:45 > 
< 01:58:46 > 
< 01:58:47 > M: So what about The Merovingian?  Monica Bellucci?  Seraph?  Did they ultimately factor into this story at all??
< 01:58:48 > 
< 01:58:49 > 
< 01:58:50 > 
< 01:58:51 > 
< 01:58:52 > 
< 01:58:53 > 
< 01:58:54 > 
< 01:58:55 > T: Heh, I wonder if the Smith clone he made out of her was really really short.
< 01:58:56 > 
< 01:58:57 > 
< 01:58:58 > 
< 01:58:59 > 
< 01:59:00 > 
< 01:59:01 > 
< 01:59:02 > 
< 01:59:03 > 
< 01:59:04 > 
< 01:59:05 > 
< 01:59:06 > M: Yeah, that’s called the sun.  It’s there every day.  Dumbass.
< 01:59:07 > 
< 01:59:08 > 
< 01:59:09 > 
< 01:59:10 > 
< 01:59:11 > 
< 01:59:12 > 
< 01:59:13 > T: Now stare at it until your EYES MELT!
< 01:59:14 > 
< 01:59:15 > 
< 01:59:16 > 
< 01:59:17 > M: I don’t think he’s in much condition to care, kid.
< 01:59:18 > 
< 01:59:19 > 
< 01:59:20 > 
< 01:59:21 > 
< 01:59:22 > 
< 01:59:23 > 
< 01:59:24 > 
< 01:59:25 > 
< 01:59:26 > 
< 01:59:27 > *COUGH*Sequel*COUGH*SEQUEL!!
< 01:59:28 > 
< 01:59:29 > 
< 01:59:30 > 
< 01:59:31 > 
< 01:59:32 > 
< 01:59:33 > 
< 01:59:34 > 
< 01:59:35 > 
< 01:59:36 > 
< 01:59:37 > M: No don’t ask her a question!
< 01:59:38 > 
< 01:59:39 > 
< 01:59:40 > 
< 01:59:41 > 
< 01:59:42 > 
< 01:59:43 > 
< 01:59:44 > 
< 01:59:45 > 
< 01:59:46 > T: Now, have I explained to you why I look different yet?
< 01:59:47 > 
< 01:59:48 > 
< 01:59:49 > 
< 01:59:50 > 
< 01:59:51 > 
< 01:59:52 > 
< 01:59:53 > 
< 01:59:54 > 
< 01:59:55 > 
< 01:59:56 > M: Neo will return in The Matrix: Repulsions!
< 01:59:57 > 
< 01:59:58 > 
< 01:59:59 > 
< 02:00:00 > 
< 02:00:01 > 
< 02:00:02 > 
< 02:00:03 > 
< 02:00:04 > 
< 02:00:05 > T: THE SUN WENT OUT!  AAAH!
< 02:00:06 > 
< 02:00:07 > 
< 02:00:08 > 
< 02:00:09 > 
< 02:00:10 > 
< 02:00:11 > 
< 02:00:12 > M: *sing* Sucky movie bite my ass…
< 02:00:13 > 
< 02:00:14 > 
< 02:00:15 > 
< 02:00:16 > T: Sucky movie jump up my butt!
< 02:00:17 > 
< 02:00:18 > 
< 02:00:19 > 
< 02:00:20 > 
< 02:00:21 > 
< 02:00:22 > 
< 02:00:23 > 
< 02:00:24 > 
< 02:00:25 > 
< 02:00:26 > 
< 02:00:27 > T: It doesn’t REALLY seem like Neo improved much of anything!
< 02:00:28 > M: The world still basically sucks…
< 02:00:29 > T: The machines are still unquestionably dominant.
< 02:00:30 > M: And humanity is still basically under their complete thrall.
< 02:00:31 > 
< 02:00:32 > 
< 02:00:33 > 
< 02:00:34 > 
< 02:00:35 > 
< 02:00:36 > 
< 02:00:37 > 
< 02:00:38 > 
< 02:00:39 > 
< 02:00:40 > 
< 02:00:41 > 
< 02:00:42 > 
< 02:00:43 > T: Keanu Reeves as Jesus.
< 02:00:44 > 
< 02:00:45 > 
< 02:00:46 > 
< 02:00:47 > 
< 02:00:48 > M: Wait wait, Laurence Fishburne was NOT in this movie was he?
< 02:00:49 > T: Yeah absolutely.  He had nothing to do, nothing meaningful to say, really.  Actually he was kind of invisible.
< 02:00:50 > 
< 02:00:51 > 
< 02:00:52 > 
< 02:00:53 > 
< 02:00:54 > 
< 02:00:55 > 
< 02:00:56 > 
< 02:00:57 > 
< 02:00:58 > 
< 02:00:59 > 
< 02:01:00 > M: The entire Smith family is really hell on robots.
< 02:01:01 > 
< 02:01:02 > 
< 02:01:03 > 
< 02:01:04 > 
< 02:01:05 > T: Confuse a child!  Give her two first names.
< 02:01:06 > 
< 02:01:07 > 
< 02:01:08 > M: Oh yeah!  He played uh…um…
< 02:01:09 > 
< 02:01:10 > 
< 02:01:11 > 
< 02:01:12 > T: Oh come on, you had to play the movie in bullet time to notice her.
< 02:01:13 > 
< 02:01:14 > M: Monica CALL ME!
< 02:01:15 > 
< 02:01:16 > 
< 02:01:17 > 
< 02:01:18 > 
< 02:01:19 > 
< 02:01:20 > 
< 02:01:21 > 
< 02:01:22 > 
< 02:01:23 > 
< 02:01:24 > T: Anthony Zerbe!  Blink and you missed him!
< 02:01:25 > 
< 02:01:26 > 
< 02:01:27 > 
< 02:01:28 > 
< 02:01:29 > M: Mali Finn!  She’s responsible for the annoying kid!  Boo!
< 02:01:30 > 
< 02:01:31 > 
< 02:01:32 > 
< 02:01:33 > T: FOUL!  Illegal use of a Y.
< 02:01:34 > 
< 02:01:35 > 
< 02:01:36 > 
< 02:01:37 > 
< 02:01:38 > 
< 02:01:39 > 
< 02:01:40 > 
< 02:01:41 > 
< 02:01:42 > 
< 02:01:43 > 
< 02:01:44 > M: Wow, Warner Brothers is willing to admit responsibility for this?
< 02:01:45 > 
< 02:01:46 > 
< 02:01:47 > 
< 02:01:48 > 
< 02:01:49 > T: But these guys were involved too!  It’s not all our fault!
< 02:01:50 > 
< 02:01:51 > 
< 02:01:52 > 
< 02:01:53 > 
< 02:01:54 > 
< 02:01:55 > 
< 02:01:56 > 
< 02:01:57 > T: Yeah, I got a unit for you, Grant.
< 02:01:58 > 
< 02:01:59 > 
< 02:02:00 > 
< 02:02:01 > 
< 02:02:02 > 
< 02:02:03 > M: Because crap of this scale is a group effort.
< 02:02:04 > 
< 02:02:05 > 
< 02:02:06 > 
< 02:02:07 > 
< 02:02:08 > 
< 02:02:09 > 
< 02:02:10 > 
< 02:02:11 > 
< 02:02:12 > T: Watch DragonballZ much, Jeff?
< 02:02:13 > 
< 02:02:14 > 
< 02:02:15 > M: Oh Ricky you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind…
< 02:02:16 > 
< 02:02:17 > 
< 02:02:18 > 
< 02:02:19 > 
< 02:02:20 > 
< 02:02:21 > 
< 02:02:22 > 
< 02:02:23 > 
< 02:02:24 > 
< 02:02:25 > T: Jeez, even Q-Ball Gang Member #1 gets higher billing than Laurence Fishburne.  Burn.
< 02:02:26 > 
< 02:02:27 > 
< 02:02:28 > 
< 02:02:29 > 
< 02:02:30 > 
< 02:02:31 > M: Hey look, Nathanial Lees was Mifune.  He was the guy who brought us AAAAAGHHH!!
< 02:02:32 > 
< 02:02:33 > 
< 02:02:34 > 
< 02:02:35 > 
< 02:02:36 > 
< 02:02:37 > 
< 02:02:38 > T: Darko Tuskan, that’s like the coolest name ever.
< 02:02:39 > 
< 02:02:40 > 
< 02:02:41 > 
< 02:02:42 > 
< 02:02:43 > 
< 02:02:44 > 
< 02:02:45 > 
< 02:02:46 > 
< 02:02:47 > 
< 02:02:48 > 
< 02:02:49 > M: Aw man,the Key Stunts were rigged?  I feel so cheated now.
< 02:02:50 > 
< 02:02:51 > 
< 02:02:52 > 
< 02:02:53 > 
< 02:02:54 > 
< 02:02:55 > 
< 02:02:56 > T: The fights were done by Yuen Wire Team—I mean Yuen Wo Ping.
< 02:02:57 > 
< 02:02:58 > 
< 02:02:59 > 
< 02:03:00 > 
< 02:03:01 > 
< 02:03:02 > 
< 02:03:03 > M: I don’t think I’d call him Fish to his face when he had me on a wire.
< 02:03:04 > 
< 02:03:05 > 
< 02:03:06 > 
< 02:03:07 > 
< 02:03:08 > 
< 02:03:09 > T: Hugh Bateup is the kind of supervising art director who draws everything in pencil.  And then films it in that color.
< 02:03:10 > 
< 02:03:11 > 
< 02:03:12 > 
< 02:03:13 > 
< 02:03:14 > 
< 02:03:15 > 


< 02:03:16 > M: What does a “Runner” do?
< 02:03:17 > T: …what does it sound like?
< 02:03:18 > 
< 02:03:19 > 
< 02:03:20 > 
< 02:03:21 > 
< 02:03:22 > 
< 02:03:23 > 
< 02:03:24 > 
< 02:03:25 > T: You made Helen load the truck all by herself?
< 02:03:26 > 
< 02:03:27 > 
< 02:03:28 > 
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< 02:03:31 > 
< 02:03:32 > 
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< 02:03:35 > 
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< 02:03:37 > 
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< 02:03:39 > 
< 02:03:40 > 
< 02:03:41 > T: This is a lot of people.  Gonna be one huge hitlist when I get out of here.
< 02:03:42 > 
< 02:03:43 > 
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< 02:03:46 > 
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< 02:03:48 > 
< 02:03:49 > 


< 02:03:50 > 
< 02:03:51 > M: Say what you like, this movie was REALLY well coordinated.
< 02:03:52 > 
< 02:03:53 > 
< 02:03:54 > 
< 02:03:55 > 
< 02:03:56 > 
< 02:03:57 > T: Gag technicians?  I dunno, this movie wasn’t very funny.
< 02:03:58 > 
< 02:03:59 > 
< 02:04:00 > 
< 02:04:01 > 
< 02:04:02 > 
< 02:04:03 > 
< 02:04:04 > 
< 02:04:05 > 
< 02:04:06 > 
< 02:04:07 > 
< 02:04:08 > 
< 02:04:09 > M: Dan Glass needed a lot of help.  He tends to crack under pressure.
< 02:04:10 > 
< 02:04:11 > 
< 02:04:12 > 
< 02:04:13 > 
< 02:04:14 > 
< 02:04:15 > 
< 02:04:16 > 
< 02:04:17 > T: We don’t cotton to Justin Folk ‘round these parts.  Jenny Hicks neither.
< 02:04:18 > 
< 02:04:19 > 
< 02:04:20 > 
< 02:04:21 > 
< 02:04:22 > 
< 02:04:23 > 
< 02:04:24 > 
< 02:04:25 > 
< 02:04:26 > 
< 02:04:27 > M: I bet Nathan Whitehead had a rough time at school.  People calling him Zit Boy and stuff.
< 02:04:28 > 
< 02:04:29 > 
< 02:04:30 > 
< 02:04:31 > T: *Sting* Desert Rose, awaaaayhaaaeee
< 02:04:32 > 
< 02:04:33 > 
< 02:04:34 > 
< 02:04:35 > 
< 02:04:36 > 
< 02:04:37 > 
< 02:04:38 > 
< 02:04:39 > 
< 02:04:40 > 
< 02:04:41 > 
< 02:04:42 > M: Only one recording studio could have done this…NEWMAN!
< 02:04:43 > 
< 02:04:44 > 
< 02:04:45 > 
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< 02:04:48 > 
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< 02:04:52 > 
< 02:04:53 > 
< 02:04:54 > T: And Jan Garner with the most exciting job of all.
< 02:04:55 > 
< 02:04:56 > 
< 02:04:57 > 
< 02:04:58 > 
< 02:04:59 > 
< 02:05:00 > 
< 02:05:01 > 
< 02:05:02 > M: Oof could you imagine how much it would such being Keanu’s physical trainer?  Having to pry the Pop Tarts out of his hand, having to explain that he shouldn’t do push-ups girly style…Not to mention having to help him stretch out.
< 02:05:03 > T: Gaah!
< 02:05:04 > 
< 02:05:05 > 
< 02:05:06 > 
< 02:05:07 > 
< 02:05:08 > 
< 02:05:09 > 
< 02:05:10 > T: Sanskrit advisor?
< 02:05:11 > M: Yes yes, I advise you not to have any Sanskrit in your movie.
< 02:05:12 > 
< 02:05:13 > 
< 02:05:14 > 
< 02:05:15 > 
< 02:05:16 > 
< 02:05:17 > 
< 02:05:18 > T: Who’s in charge of On Set Safety?  Wayne?  Pleace!
< 02:05:19 > 
< 02:05:20 > 
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< 02:05:23 > 
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< 02:05:32 > 
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< 02:05:34 > 
< 02:05:35 > 
< 02:05:36 > M: Aaaagh my eyes are blurring up at all these names!
< 02:05:37 > 
< 02:05:38 > 
< 02:05:39 > 
< 02:05:40 > T: Why so many set painters?  Everything was black and gray.  Gimme 10 minutes and a paint sprayer.
< 02:05:41 > 
< 02:05:42 > 
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< 02:05:53 > 
< 02:05:54 > 
< 02:05:55 > M: Yeah I had my name changed to Mark Van Kool.  It was either that or Joe Kickass!
< 02:05:56 > 
< 02:05:57 > 
< 02:05:58 > 
< 02:05:59 > 
< 02:06:00 > 
< 02:06:01 > 
< 02:06:02 > 
< 02:06:03 > 
< 02:06:04 > 
< 02:06:05 > 
< 02:06:06 > 
< 02:06:07 > T: If you have a third unit you should see a doctor.
< 02:06:08 > 
< 02:06:09 > 
< 02:06:10 > 
< 02:06:11 > 
< 02:06:12 > 
< 02:06:13 > 
< 02:06:14 > 
< 02:06:15 > 
< 02:06:16 > M: When you need a gaffer and you need him high speed, call Steve!
< 02:06:17 > 
< 02:06:18 > 
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< 02:06:22 > 
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< 02:06:24 > 
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< 02:06:26 > 
< 02:06:27 > 
< 02:06:28 > T: I went down to the gym once.  I was around Buf Company, let me tell ya.
< 02:06:29 > 
< 02:06:30 > 
< 02:06:31 > 
< 02:06:32 > 
< 02:06:33 > 
< 02:06:34 > 
< 02:06:35 > 
< 02:06:36 > T: check it out, Diana Meee-OW!
< 02:06:37 > 
< 02:06:38 > 
< 02:06:39 > 
< 02:06:40 > 
< 02:06:41 > 
< 02:06:42 > 
< 02:06:43 > 
< 02:06:44 > 
< 02:06:45 > 
< 02:06:46 > 
< 02:06:47 > 
< 02:06:48 > M: So where were you in the credits, dad?
< 02:06:49 > T: Uhhh I don’t know, I can’t read it!  So many names!  There!  There! See?
< 02:06:50 > 
< 02:06:51 > 
< 02:06:52 > 
< 02:06:53 > 
< 02:06:54 > 
< 02:06:55 > M: I don’t think the Matrix Unit had a whole lot to do in this movie.
< 02:06:56 > 
< 02:06:57 > 
< 02:06:58 > 
< 02:06:59 > 
< 02:07:00 > 
< 02:07:01 > 
< 02:07:02 > 
< 02:07:03 > 
< 02:07:04 > 
< 02:07:05 > 
< 02:07:06 > T: Matchmover matchmover move me a match…
< 02:07:07 > 
< 02:07:08 > 
< 02:07:09 > 
< 02:07:10 > 
< 02:07:11 > 
< 02:07:12 > 
< 02:07:13 > 
< 02:07:14 > 
< 02:07:15 > 
< 02:07:16 > M: Ooooh this generic techno music really gets your blood moving don’t it?
< 02:07:17 > T: No.
< 02:07:18 > M: Wow hey!  They weren’t kidding!  They brought in Giant Killer Robots!  
< 02:07:19 > T: Wow!
< 02:07:20 > 
< 02:07:21 > 
< 02:07:22 > M: We may be the first two people to ever sit through these credits.
< 02:07:23 > T: We might be the first two people to actually not walk out of the movie.
< 02:07:24 > 
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< 02:07:26 > 
< 02:07:27 > 
< 02:07:28 > 
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< 02:07:40 > 
< 02:07:41 > T: Ah my exotic love from Spain, Athena Yvette Portillo.  We danced on the beaches, we sampled the wine, we..DPMed stuff.
< 02:07:42 > 
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< 02:07:51 > 
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< 02:07:53 > 
< 02:07:54 > 
< 02:07:55 > 
< 02:07:56 > 
< 02:07:57 > T: Who cut the negatives?
< 02:07:58 > *MO HENRY MO HENRY MO HENRY!*
< 02:07:59 > 
< 02:08:00 > 
< 02:08:01 > 
< 02:08:02 > 
< 02:08:03 > 
< 02:08:04 > 
< 02:08:05 > 
< 02:08:06 > M: Ah of course.  The Welsh.
< 02:08:07 > 
< 02:08:08 > 
< 02:08:09 > 
< 02:08:10 > 
< 02:08:11 > 
< 02:08:12 > 
< 02:08:13 > 
< 02:08:14 > 
< 02:08:15 > M: Hah hah!  Oh wait, they’re actually serious in thinking we’d want to know who did the music?
< 02:08:16 > 
< 02:08:17 > 
< 02:08:18 > 
< 02:08:19 > 
< 02:08:20 > 
< 02:08:21 > 
< 02:08:22 > 
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< 02:08:24 > 
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< 02:08:26 > 
< 02:08:27 > 
< 02:08:28 > T: Oh whatever you do, don’t make illegal copies of this movie.
< 02:08:29 > M: Yeah I mean, nobody would buy ‘em anyway.
< 02:08:30 > 
< 02:08:31 > 
< 02:08:32 > 
< 02:08:33 > 
< 02:08:34 > 
< 02:08:35 > T: Any similarity to actual people should be severely punished.
< 02:08:36 > 
< 02:08:37 > 
< 02:08:38 > 
< 02:08:39 > 
< 02:08:40 > 
< 02:08:41 > 
< 02:08:42 > 
< 02:08:43 > M: Time to go!  AUUUUGHHH!!
< 02:08:44 > T: AUUUUUGHHH!
< 02:08:45 > 
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< 02:09:00 > 
< 02:09:01 > 
< 02:09:02 > T: Whoaaaaaaa.
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