Copyright 2005 The Nigiyakaza Players

Final Draft - Kaze No Yojimbo -  Riffs... needs line assignment

1:33		Episode 1, Yojimbo Menace

1:44		It's always black and white with these people.

1:51		Angel's Egg!
1:53 		Galactic Express 999
1:57 		Angel's Egg again, make up your mind!

2:12 		The Silver Streak's out of control! AAAH!

2:22 		This is the slowest zoetrope I've ever seen.

2:28 		It's the hell gone, sir.

2:37 		Nothing but bums and hobos in this one, sir.

2:54 		Woah, filmed in Blair Witch vision.

3:11 		(train coming at you, altogether) AAAAAAH!

3:26 		(quickly) Sweaty pits.

3:30 		TERMINATE SARAH CONNOR

3:42 		Tyler Durden sighting #1.

3:52 		Sighting #2.

3:58 		Don't forget dreamy.

4:14 		(singing) 
		"here in my car, I feel safest of all" 
		(then hum a few more bars)		"in cars"

4:26 		Stigmata!

4:35 		(as he looks up) Yup, that's me pretty much.

4:45 		Marlow Thomas?

4:55 		(as annoyed director)
		Hey, George, we're trying to shoot a flashback here.... Get out of the shot! George! C'mon!

5:12 		That's cop talk for "getting doughnuts".

5:24 		They really shoulda went with the optical zoom.

5:30 		Stone Cold really let himself go.

5:53 		Tyler Durden #3.

5:57 		Captain Ginyu's been looking for ya.

6:07		(crying) No one messes with the Sharks.

6:11		(in mcfeely's voice) Speedy delivery.

6:29		(italiany) Rhymes with hockey, not baloney.

6:36		Thanks to that boxer guy.

6:46 		(as cop turns around) I wonder if he knows Apollo and Boomer.

6:56 		It's not often you see animated characters reading cue cards.

7:12 		But not too far far away.

7:20 		Crackerburg.
		--Honkeyville.

7:38		Those giant eyeballs kept freaking people out.

7:46 		Yeah, you know, "choo-choo driver".

7:56 		If we don't, we end up in the corn.

8:10 		He must have been in the garbage cans again.

8:23 		MENSA set it up in the 50's.

8:47 		Do you mind if we call _you_ "Araki"?

8:54		Never go that way. That way goes straight to the castle.

9:10 		I read strange enough, thank you.

9:26 		Hitomi Yaida's favorite cigarettes.

9:37 		I like that slightly firm, too.

9:52 		(like Michael from All in the Family) Just stupid, Arch.

10:10 		(on blockyness) Whoa, he broke the DVD!

10:27 		Who collects their debts by sliding on crap?

10:36 		They must be the rodney dangerfield gang.

10:55 		Nothing says action like "smoooooth jazz".

11:14 		Raccoon McBadgerson.

11:19 		(all together) What?

11:28 		Maybe it's Maybelline.

11:35 		Hey, guys.
		-yeah?
		-how do you keep a Genzami from charging?
		-how?
		-Take away his credit cards.

11:58 		How do you walk?

12:11 		(singing) He's got his mind on his money and his money on his mind.

12:26 		Whoop, sorry, fell asleep there.

12:40 		(holding nose being nasally) Yeah, so I've heard.

12:48		...on account of the war injury.

13:12		(after bowl hits) I'm Batman.

13:24 		Two stories AND centrally located? I'll take it!

13:31 		Here's five, keep the change.

13:50 		Mister Freeze makes an important call.

14:00 		(singing about 7 seconds worth) "Follow the yellow brick road..."

14:18 		So where do they go when wanna eat red beans and rice?
		-Black town.

14:44 		(as if writing while saying) Seeeeey-mourrrr....Butts.

15:24 		Parcheesi!

15:28 		(Moviefone voice)
		If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press 1 now.

15:34 		Little Bill!

15:44 		And no Air Mastering in the Lobby.

15:53 		(Moviefone continued)
		You have selected Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo...

16:06 		I take it slightly firm.

16:14 		I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair.

17:00 		Hope you guess my name?

17:07 		A claw foot!

17:11 		Haircut by Janet Reno.

17:27 		"Business" (with quotey fingers)

17:35 		(on screen blur, altogether) FREE GAME!

17:42 		Oh man, I hope this isn't like Basic Instinct.

17:49 		(as annoyed movie director) Alright, Cindy. Walk faster. Thank you.

18:00 		Tee Hee. That mustach makes you look like a walrus.

18:13 		He DID walk funny.

18:21 		*Knock Knock* Sir, this is a non-brooding room.

18:29 		I can hear him smoking in there.

18:34 		Fire proof t-shirt? Check.

18:42 		Araki. Dune. Desert hotel.

18:58 		I smoke my breakfast.

19:06 		Oh, man I gotta pee.

19:10 		Faye cleans up nice.

19:19 		--tarzan yell--

19:30 		Bring the baby seals around back.

19:40		Jehova's Witnesses.

19:51		 Kid, how could you!

20:18 		(as sportscaster) And Refrigerator Perry goes down!

20:25 		Hey, they stole this from Back to the Future!

20:36 		Ooh, a peanut.

20:40 		-- You'll never get far, running through tar.
          		-- Stop catching moonbeams in a jar.
          		-- That's a nasty scar.
          		-- I saw you in that bar.
          		-- And the Oscar goes to... Robert Z'Dar.

21:10 		MIGRAINE!

-----start of episode 3-----

1:31 		What happened to Episode 2?  

		--George Lucas!

1:42 		Previously on "Jimbo".

1:50 		According to the old guys, it's 7:30.

1:59 		Quasimodo!

2:13 		(as weatherman)
		Mars is experiencing greater than normal dust storm activity for this time of year, Jim. Back to you in the studio.

2:26		Prince Valiant!

2:30 		(after head cock)
		Too fat for the doorway again. I gotta call Jenny Craig.

2:40 		This'll help Timothy's pneumonia.

2:54 		We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted to Arizona State University. While we appreciate your application, we have had an unusual amount of applicants this year who were better than you in all ways. We recommend in the future not sending a picture with your application materials. 

--3:10 		(or just after ^ is done)
		Congratulations on your purchase. Please read and follow all instructions for the safe and enjoyable use of your brand new Flowbie hair care system.

--3:20 		(or just after ^ is done)
		Do not remove under penalty of law.

--3:25 		(and maybe if not yet :28)
		Nutritional information based on a two thousand calorie diet.

3:43 		And you didn't even get to collect the $200.

3:55 		The years haven't been kind to The Dawson. 

4:10 		Ramen inspector.

4:28 		He drinks Tab? And I was sure that Atkins was his secret.

4:43 		(as he switches between looking at each bottle) 
		Grape, cranapple, grape, hmmm.

4:53 		(after he says "the good stuff")
		Strawberry-banana.

5:14 		Free manicures.

5:26 		Mmm. Ocean Spray. Bobby McFerrin was right!

5:34 		Some people call me Maurice.
		-*whistle*

5:49 		(as envelope comes into view, altogether) AH!

5:59 		The first one's always free.

6:05 		Look into my evil eye.

6:18 		It's noodles, stupid!

6:22 		(after "hey master") You think this coat makes me look like a cockroach?

6:33 		Those urinals are awfully close together.

6:56 		They don't always wait until eager beaver duck season.

7:18 		Not since the backstage incident with Sting.

7:31 		Huh huh, he said duties.

7:45 		(singing) "Scooby dooby doo where are you..."

7:55 		It's the Libyans!

8:05 		It seats fifty!

8:11 		It was that guy from Grove Street!

8:22 		That'll teach the Census Bureau. (on face)

8:35 		(as dude who is talking) Mavis is out of control, sir.

8:43 		Nomi no sukune!

8:45 		Lyle Lovett!

8:48 		Breakit down.

9:01 		(counting as he takes each step)
		485, 86, 87, 88. Twelve more steps and he gets Erdrick's armor.

9:20 		You think that eagle adds to the fung shway of this room?

9:37 		Yo, Jimbo, you're in the shot again!

9:55 		Trevor Goodchild!

10:18 		A little, but my pencil broke.

10:33 		Hokey Pokey.

10:47 		("by the way") Do you think I look like John McEnroe?

10:54 		Man, this floor is *filthy*.

11:07 		I gotta get that ceiling tile fixed.

11:17 		Burbur is all wrong for this room.

11:33 		(in apu accent) You don't frighten me, my friend.

11:38 		Puddin' Tame.

11:49 		Wanna join the union? Gotta have the mustash.

11:55 		Kimujuku must be under Air Force protection.

12:08 		c, at, cat.  b, at, bat. (on guy) f, at, fat.

12:20 		Gordan Freeman!

12:34 		(as announcer) Kimujuku, a metropolis bustling with activity.

12:55 		Oh-ho, that Marmaduke. (on guy)

13:08 		(singing) "And I-EEEAAAYEEAAA..."

13:15 		Five seconds to cliche.
--13:22 	(as train reveals guy) Tada.

13:27 		Pistol packing tough guy? Who is she, mamie van doren?

13:37 		Thomas Marlo?

13:56 		She stole that hair from Tony Robbins.
		-- TONY HUNGRY!

14:25 		(annoyed director) Judus Priest! Now they're both in the shot!

14:28 		**good bad ugly whislte** "wah wah wah"

14:37 		 (timed with punches) Ich! Ni! ich! uhm. seven. n-ninety two. 

14:46 		Magic.

14:57 		Aeon Flux!

15:08 		See if he's going to ask me to the prom.

15:19		Meanwhile, at Camp David.

15:25 		I call him Betty.

15:35 		Action!  ACTION!

15:39 		Hungry Hungry Hippos.

16:03 		(not singing) Love is a battlefield.

16:12 		(singing) For the show that never ends.

16:16 		GI-GAN-TORRRR!

16:36 		I'm not a child! I'm NOT! I'm NOT! I'm NOT!

16:42 		George decides to take a stroll in the woods before heading on over to the Witch Hunter Robin auditions.

17:00 		This smell funny to you?

17:11 		I'll get my mom to drive me.

17:26 		(on close up) Mister Potato head has his angry eyes on.

17:43 		Daedalus Attack!

17:50 		We'd like to apologise, Steve was eating fried chicken when he painted these cells.

18:06 		What's with all the Klingon blood?

18:11 		(in pain) Damn, these guitar riffs!

18:22 		Man, this fight is slower than Dragon Ball Z!

18:37 		(suavly) GQ pose.

18:42 		Ginzami Industries, CD's, DVD's... contract killing.

18:57 		Now turn to the left! Now turn to the left!

19:03 		My rhinoplasty!

19:08 		I'm huge!

19:18 		Bad breath, bad gas, bad touch.

19:24 		Now we'll see who you really are!

19:30 		(as sports announcer) The yankee's send in a substitution. Kolfax takes the plate. There's the wind-up... and the PITCH! Oh! Kaline takes it in the shoulder. He'll take a base. 
		--He's gonna feel that one in the morning.

19:57 		I called it Operation Tucks Medicated.

20:09 		BRILLIANT!

20:16 		I did until you beat me up.

20:33 		True dat.
		--Word.

20:49 		Did you see me do it?

20:56 		(like stupid) Tell me about the rabbits, George.

21:05 		He needs a V8. (on guy)

21:10 		(like stupid) But the rabbits! The rabbits, George!

------END------