Copyright 2006 The Nigiyakaza Players. Not to be used, reposted or performed without permission.

Nigiyakaza: Casshan: Robot Hunter -  Riffs... with line assignment

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Episode 1

1:20	(quickly) Mama Cass and Han Solo are... The Scarecrow and Mrs. King. Next.. on NBC.
1:28	*robotic* I hate this channel
1:33	Kaizer bot, forward.
1:39	*all* read on-screen text as fast as you can
1:49	robozone - for all your do it yourself robot needs - on the corner of I-10...come see us today.
2:08	Fantasy we love land?
2:10	It's the Cobra Commander! Go Joe!
2:15	I gotta get to the ship before the tide goes out!
2:19	...Darn
	...Pirate world? How far did he run?
	...Guys! I found one-eyed Willie!

2:31	Ow! Right in my trangle!
2:33	Ow! My coccyx!
2:40	I'm going to copy his Nerdcore collection onto my iPod
2:49	Darn! Out of foam disks!
3:00	Ishtar
3:05	"You shouldn't travel alone in the wastes." (Obi-Wan)
3:09	Wow, this city's got a big wall around it. Where do you get a wall like that?
	...I dunno, Wal-mart?

3:21	*all* READ on-screen text as fast as you can
3:28	*whistle while you work whistling*
3:38 	YABBADABBADOOOOOOOO!
3:45	Gosh, Steve. I didn't know you were gonna wear your grey smock today...
4:07	Dr. Claw!
4:14	Where has my hand been?
4:20 	(like robot in Spacecamp movie) Jinx save max. 
4:30	*robotic voice* Humans are invading the lesbian compound!
4:45	(singing) *opening lyrics to Beat It song*
4:56	...and he's gonna give you such a pinch!
5:05	If they stopped rebuilding Toyko, it wouldn’t keep getting annihilated.
5:14	*Like Cyrus* CAN YOU DIG IT?
5:28	Black King - He's super-strong and super-naked
5:35	He's got Ferengi teeth.
5:48	*Cat scream*
5:54	The security at this year’s Oscars looks really tight.
6:05	I'm gonna sneak into that after-party
6:15	Pink Floyd must be in town.
6:20	Incidental music by John Williams.
6:45	OK, so one things’ for sure... Big huge eye does not equal good aim.
7:09	So what you're saying is the chances are good.
7:24	Sure. Sure. Sure.
7:32	Whoa, whoa, watch your language!
7:40	(like nixon) I am not a crook
8:13	 (like a pimp) Where’s my money!
8:26	MY LEGS! AAAAAAUUHHHH!
8:40	half of that guy’s face always looks surprised
9:00	I pressed the big red button that said "open"
9:04	5 bucks says it's a girl
		- you're on
		- haha. pay up.
		-lousy stinkin’...

9:20	alright, now that I’ve taken off all my clothes, we can talk.
9:30	Hey look, they're all playing pocket pool
9:40	So in the future, Winnie Cooper is the leader of the resistance
10:02	Sailor Moon there makes a lot of sense.
10:11	(careful with this one) A ma’am, a plan, a canal, Pamama.
10:23	Step 1: Enslave Human Race, Step 2: ..., Step 3: Make Big Profit
10:38	This week, the character of BK-1 will be played by Destro.
10:48	 ...and he's FABULOUS!
11:17	Whoa! Where'd he go?	... Oh, there he is!
11:26	He's looking at naked pictures of Megaman
11:38	I think we’re about to find out who runs Barter Town.
12:07	What, no flaming bag of poo?
12:16	I think we can see into the pink robots' locker room from here.
12:26  That’s the prototype for the Nintendo DS.
12:32	Miss June, 2086. Turn-ons include handheld electronic devices, long walks in the desert, and bowl cuts. Turn-offs include men in gray smocks 

12:57 	(one condition) Put on some pants!
13:05	Hey, who put on the Creed video?
13:28	A Jarvik 7 cameo. You don’t see many of those.
13:50	(as girl) Do you think he can tell that I cut my own hair?
13:55	I bet she cuts her own hair.
14:05	(as dog) Hi, I'm your 4:30.
14:12	Lucky Luck
14:25	(as dog) I'm going walkies.
14:50	This scene has less frames of animation than Beavis and Butthead
14:58	(drawn out) You forgot your change!
15:23	Of course it is, and don't call me "Miss Taken"
15:40	(in a nerdy voice) No girls allowed
15:51	(right after you’re human) Wait, wait, wait...the dog can TALK?
15.58	Kaneda!
16:00	Stormshadow!
16:20	So, the robots just let them in and out of their high security prison?
16:30	The door seemed to OPEN a lot faster.
		-That red button must have been for "dramatic close".

16:42	She loves the taste of cold, hard, steel
16:50	(like tongue is stuck) Wait, wait, my tongue is stuck
16:55	FLINTSTONE!
17:14	Oh my god, it's almost V I o' clock!
17:34	Look, it's Nelly!
17:45	Hotpockets are done.
17:55	What are you doing in the darkroom?
18:03	Just like any given episode of Inu Yasha
18:14	I’m a man, not a number.
18:18	GRRRRRRRR
18:38	*all* YAAAAAAY
18:55	That’s the world’s luckiest hair.
19:08	Should he be touching that?
	-Can I?

19:19	Say what you want about this torture device, but it *does* lift and separate
19:29	(whining) But I wanted a puppy!
19:40	Wait, when did they move to Minas Tirith?
19:48	That's the hottest Jesus I've ever seen.

20:00	 “What does this button do” routine
to	=====Stand up and cover boobieness===== 
20:09	.

20:15	Send us Barabas!
20:40	(Announcer commentary) Casshan goes up for a single flip. A perfect execution. Now, can he stick the landing? errrrr, yes! Let’s see what the judges say.

20:56	 But sir, we can't possibly beat him. Don't you hear the trumpet fanfare?

21:20	“RATS!” routine
to	=====Stand up to cover boobies.=====
21:39 	“hey, guys, you’re missing it. sit down”

21:51	(as witch)...and his little dog, too!
22:02	 Right in the hand hole, that's gotta hurt!
22:08	 Casshan needs a V8.
22:28	 Greg Loo-gay-ness goes in for the kill.
22:45	(like a witch) How 'bout a little fire, Scarecrow?
23:07	ow, my legs (asbestos legs)
23:18	I ordered my Whopper an hour ago!
23:34	Ow, my glass eye!
23:41	It’s not the kind of head he was hoping for, but it’ll do.
24:05	That's right, I got past you somehow. I won't tell you how I did it. let’s just take it for granted that I did.

24:44	Now he gets twice the gas mileage!

Episode 4

2:00	We lost a lot of good men getting this information.
2:12	Dude, smoke or talk, not both.
2:17	*all* Bark
2:33	Tim Burton!
2:43	*sing* I'm the Reviver
	I'm a  Reviver (what),
	I'm gonna make it (what),
	I will Revive (what),
	Keep on Revivin' (what).

2:52	(Narrator Voice) The allied forces landed of the beaches of Normandy...
3:00 	*all* READ FAST
3:08	Hunt for Robot Hunter October.
3:17	Look out for the Japanese troller!
3:22	Santa Claus is lost, we'd better hurry!
3:31	(whispery) pssst. Dont look at the camera
3:42	...and the SOB torpedoes
3:59	Sir, we've re-taken the Banana republic.
4:08	That's funny, the "Northern" Lights don't usually come this far south.
4:21	Foot soldiers
4:27	This is the biggest game of checkers I've ever seen
4:38	Those are some weird looking love handles
4:50	If you listen closely, you'll hear the sound of one hand clapping.
5:01	He's getting his power from the Monolith
5:05	Why wasn't he doing this the whole time? I think "giant laser beam" is a bit more effective than punching and kicking every robot one by one.

5:20	Casshan is a Go-a-uld!
5:25	Ok, break out the hot dogs.
	-I'll do the s'mores!
	-Anyone for chestnuts?

5:47	(are they) real?
5:51	Gratuitous Dyno-Mutt shot
6:00	She learned that move from the LAPD.
6:05	So, before he was a robot hunter, he worked at 7-11?
6:25	CAWWWWW!
6:46	That map has termite damage
6:50	If they don't hurry up, Green is going to win this game of Risk!
7:04	Why do they even need female robots?
	-Title 9

7:13	(Primary Imperative) PANTY RAIDS
7:18	AFLAC!
7:23	*all* Read text on screen
7:35	...and don't forget the POS helmet.
7:44	Poppycock!
7:48	Look, it’s the world’s littlest soldier.
7:54	Well, your dad is stupid!
8:12	Look at the size of that schnoz!

8:24	=====STAND UP AND COVER BOOBIENESS==== Sandwich GET!
to
8:41	“I saw something under here before. give me a sec.
	“I think you’re blocking a shower scene, dude. get out of the way”
	“I’ve almost got it.... there”

8:43	It used to be such a good, strong hand.
8:48	I've got a brand new pair of rollerskates, you've got a brand new key.
9:09	Panty shot, woah!
9:22	We can go see the Go-Gos, and eat Go-gurt while watching the Go-Bots.
9:30	CAWWWWW!
9:39	They'll hear you bouncing from a mile away
9:44	Meanwhile, at Quasimodo's house
9:53	If I sneak up slow enough, I can steal the golden egg.
10:05	Look, it's Echo the Swan
10:14	Didn't she play a dude in Robot Carnival?
10:30	Last Tuesday. Sorry, there's a delay in the swan.
10:47	He's got Michael Jackson nose.
10:57	*all* OF COURSE!
11:09	(singing) One of these legs is not like the other...One of these legs just isn't as long.
11:20	If i think his dead mom is hot, does that make me a necrophiliac?
11:40	Whose idea was it to use a carrier swan anyway?
11:54	The kitchen! ...and take off those shoes!

Sandwich EAT!

“What you got there”
“a sandwich”
“where’d you get a sandwich?”
...

13:00	I sense another panty shot in 3, 2, 1.. tada!
	-Woah, a two fer.
13:16	Rewind it, I think there was another panty shot!
	- You and your panty shots
	- Don’t judge me.

Series of "frau Blucher"s each time lightning strikes

13:55	Company policy strictly forbids the bringing of arks of covenants into the conference room.
14:17	...and our GD troops are in trouble, too!
14:32	Maybe the humans should have made THOSE weapons, instead.
14:39	You will let them have it their way.
14:54	Hey, What's long and hard and full of seamen?
15:10	Why is it so HOT in here?
15:23	Oh, that's why it's so hot, Somebody left the stove on!
15:37	The traps? - No, our heads.
15:42	When you Azuma, you make an Az out of U and Ma.
16:06	I thought Harley Quinn worked for The Joker
16:20	*chant* Hold the pickles hold the lettuce, special orders wont upset us. All we ask is that you let us, serve it your way.

16:49	Was that the end?
	- Guess not.

17:00	It's 4-leaf clever.
17:17	So where does the dog get all the fire?
	-Mexican food.

17:32	I’m glad Loopy found work after Kablaam! went off the air.
17:38	AAAAHHH, Bad angle!
17:41	water bug attack!
17:53	Oh yeah, I was supposed to explode.
18:13	*monotone* No, dont, stop, I don't know what I'd do without you.
18:21	Form of - a gun!
18:39	HA HA HA HA, your weapons are useless against me!
18:49	I guess she couldn't "stomach" that attack.
19:25	Talk to the hand.
19:36	Hey BK-1, I heard that you have cancer if your hand's bigger than your face.
19:53	They call me the gangster of love.
19.58	Nuh uh!
20:15	and the holy ghost
20:25	When I said "defend" yourself, I meant "surrender"
20:34	You guys think Black King is cold?
20:45	...and begin blowing animation budget in 10 seconds.
21:19	BK1 really packs a whopper
21:31	Thankfully those weren't load-bearing pillars.
21:46	Don't say rise when you're using this camera angle.
21:59	(like moses) Let my people goooo.
22:11	BK-1 has Jay Leno chin
22:24	underwear that doesn't ride up
22:35	Is that a robot TB scar?
22:47	SEXY COOL
23:22	This is what happens when you forget your contact lens solution...
23:43	Ooh, I think he's getting ready to do the Macarena
23:51	*all* KALI MAAAA KALI MAAAA
24:04	*make loooong fart sound when he sits*
24:25	Now he's BK De Milo
24:40	The male swan moves into position for mating with the female.
25:11	So, it turns out all 3 of them were the 5th element.
25:30	I guess those robots weren't Y3K compliant
25:40	Yay, now we can go back to polluting the environment!
25:57	What you've just seen was Star Wars the way it was originally intended.
26:25	Since she's the only living human female, she has hours upon hours of procreation to look forward to.
26:41	(as pirate) Get a little CAPTAIN in ya!

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