Episode 16-Satan's Blade

	It became a light saber

	someone spilled cherry kool-aid all over the camera lens

	MC Hammer productions presents

	so do you use satan's blade to get a devils haircut?

	hey marin, what up?

	Hitler's other book Terry Kimpf!!

	For the orgy

	Cory Feldman leaves his new job

	yeah let a man drive!!

	Bye!!

	whoa they cam back pretty fast

	Avon calling!

	can i deposit this gun??

	let us in or else we'll shoot the glass

	"did you tell them we're closed? you know we're closed??

	"Get closer to the camera, that's it!!"

	"Yes, Grandpa's will is mine!! HAHAHA!!"

	oh they're robbing a mcdonalds

	these button's don't match the blouse

	someone's clicking a pen off camera

	just wanted to see what kind of bra she's wearing

	"hey it's pretty nice where'd you get that, JC Penneys? Sears? Victoria Secrets?

	Come on and hurry up with the fake money

	get over there so we can see your clevage

	shot me no where near me but I'll die anyway
	
	look there just happened to be a blood stain from a previous murder behind her

	she's doing the lambada while dancing

	"OW My bra! Ow!"

	Only if Cory Feldman stayed

	well bye

	Manos? Oh...

	so is this a silent movie, what's going on here?

	So what does Lucifer's Bowie knife have to do with the bank robber? The Devils Cenitar?

	(honk) AHH!! (Crash)

	they need some streets light on this road

	this is the best scene so far

	mom we're home from the robbery

	time for the lumberjacks to get naked hehehe...

	it's such a good feeling, to know you're alive...

	hey bank robbers can't be women!

	hello? Dialouge?

	is it safe to talk yet?

	now to do some air conditioning maintence

	when i said iw anted a screwdrive i meant the drink

	whoa nice ass, but she's got a wedgy

	ow, my ears, there's dialouge now

	and we'll film every minute of their waiting

	george constanza?

	whoa! yeah!! 

	aww i'm liking this movie it ogt way better

	YES!!! WOO!!

	This is the best movie ever!!

	-Bater Ginsburg

	for helping me with my sex life

	nancy sinatra in the shining

	i guess there's no reponse to that

	look i'm naked

	whoa hey!!

	YES!!!

	aww...

	hear that, someone's tuning a piano next door

	here's your wonderbra, hey!!!

	don't close the door how is she gonna join in

	now that were lesbians

	"in my hand..."

	"just the two of us..."

	well no cause there's coplicated math...

	"sure..i guess..just gotta do some math"

	reach for the eyeliner
	
	aw don't shoot at the bosoms!

	I never got my bath!!

	wow she could be a james bond villian

	well i had a long day i'll take a nap

	sit tight little gun

	she's got a weird tan line

	Now Draw pilgrim

	hey lady you should put on a coat

	oh sorry i tried knocking on the door

	"i'll just go to sleep!"

	"they're naked!"

	you don't know where it's been

	we start digging there?

	ha ha ha ha...

	well let's do this again

	there's the overlook hotel

	The blood will give it "atmosphere."

	well you gonna get rid of the dead bodys in the cabin or what?

	the cops are so gay!

	this place isn't groovy enough

	ah who are you?

	wow there's a girl clown car out there

	The MURDER cabin!

	Quiet Mother!

	(snore)

	damn von trapp family

	monica lewinsky!

	-of mass destruction?

	ohh you mean bezelbubs chopstick?

	"i'm hungry"

	Tom Selleck!!

	what more do you want??

	Yeah, here at the gates of hell hotel here

	no wire hangers!!

	who you calling nice people??

	whoa!! the hell does that mean

	"heh we're gonna have sex"

	And well..just..kinda...drags..out...and...ends...cut?

	I'll break your other arm, Mother, if you don't shut up.

	the piano's almost tuned, it should be done by the end of the movie

	I can't wait until they get to Loki's grapefruit spoon

	Boy charlies angels is really lost

	we'll be spending it dead at the bottom of the lake...

	so nice=no legends?

	cause he's always hungry hahaha!!

	I have to unpack my mustaches.

	Did her dialouge coach tell her to deliever every line with evil sarcasam?

	plus he'll be busy eating somehing else

	what old lady's story?

	what's up with the fossils up on the shelf?

	we can all get naked, yay!!

	"at the camera"

	monica lewinski talking about coming on...

	let's eat! oh wait that's al

	yes they really are talking to each other

	i'm hal linden!

	maybe all the pooping I do in the lake keeps them away

	Nelson? Gunnar?

	Doris Day?

	I need to lose weight

	can you use it to cut things

	Yes scooby what is it all about?

	Back to the mystery machine!!

	oh the smart alleck hungry guy strikes again!

	whoa man i'm so baked, dude!

	yeahl ook at this rockin party going on here

	"sure al!!"

	"wait it's not food what is he doing?"

	one of these nights

	who?

	nice yawn

	like your herpes

	will you marry me?

	what does that mean?

	do you wanna propose anything? yeah how many times i can throw up?

	it makes her happy that i'm happy that you're happy while...what was i saying?

	I'll just lick it off.

	This is an extremely taught drama unfolding here.

	who's sue???

	yeah, drinkin' and whorin'

	eww he threw up

	i'm starting to love you man

	speaking of real hard...

	huh? did we miss a reel or something?

	cropsy no!!

	oh it's a 70's version of phatom of the opera

	hey someone put a hole in the camera lens
	
	wow Neil Diamond is pissed

	they all died in their sleep

	oh no it's the owl killer from stage fright

	let's go out to the danger

	it's a giant baboon

	ok velma

	uh oh mom's calling!

	like this whole movie

	oh man we're here for a week, do we have to go skiing now?

	let's get some food in you

	well go back to sleep!! jeez

	the scenes cut out from the real world just aren't that exciting

	the hell you talking about??

	is it possible to ski while hung over? ask sonny bono

	"is your period interfering with your fun on your vacation?"

	i'll put my 70's groovy boots on

	isn't he gonna shower or change clothes or something?

	and not next door, honest

	he wasted his coffee, bastard!

	i have a headache this big

	oh there's that cop! I forgot i tied him up and put him in here

	who am I?

	the mic is outside the window

	hey it's bigfoot cool

	"and he does have the long pole, hehehehehe...."

	is someone practing their trumpet solo out here?

	this is what happens when a nature film director makes a movie

	wow another big foot cool!

	oh that al always dressing in drag

	we should tell sue to come along

	hey the a teams there to pick them up

	monica lewinskys cold

	so the Mckinley elemtary band class practices out here, huh?

	well 930 time for my first beer

	i'm looking to butters someone toast, hello?

	you abuser you

	I tried to return that movie to the video store on time...

	least not here, let's get to a bed

	and...? so...?

	especially in the 70's

	ew why?

	ha a woman getting the "friend" line whatta ya know?

	yeah grab my pole and yank..

	is i put my hands right on your boobs

	don't throw the pole in the lake you gotta buy me a new one now!

	aren't they cold?

	we can't solve strange cases

	cause serial killers don't have a life span of 14 years

	ok joe friday

	we'll establish that as a plot point

	oh you forgot our anniversary again!!!

	and eat a whole buffet

	hehehe woohoo...(lackluster)

	they were in the escpades?? cool!

	the shelf in the closet you big idiot!!! yeah me and al get along so well...

	So much for the oriental Dr. Ruth

	see i'm really a fish...

	Fire fire...I'll burn the place down YEAH!!!

	and bigfoot goes back into the wilderness

	so what's this called again? Lucifers ladel? Beezelbubs butter knife? Methopsoles fork?

	what is this a mommas and the poppas video, what's going on??

	phew i'm exhausted!

	You got more than a nibble, you jerk.

	Someone not hungry!  Amazing!

	I wanna have hot crazy sex!

	would you rather it be a playboy bunny?
	
	or smarter?

	ohh can we see that??

	my long standing acting carrer

	shut up!!

	whoa!! shes got two cases

	no no no, don't show him naked!!! no, no, stop!! EWWW!!!
	
	I'm wearing the sears robe

	eww i never wanna hear lawyers try to act sexy

	they're going to the land of make believe

	great more nature footage

	why is she just roaming around?

	"hey look snow!"

	(crash) HEY!!

	is she looking for a place to hibernate?

	man, she really got lost in yellowstone, trying to find old faithfull, but she doesn't like anything faithfull, she's gonna try to screw old faithful "Oh yes!"

	Al eats and it's funny!

	more of her walking around?

	killers carrying around a piano and playing it?

	(start singing "My sharona")

	ok!

	whoa!!!

	you're such a slut

	hahaha 70's humor!!

	think she's screwing that guy next door?

	she had to think of her line first

	its only 1130

	"informer...."

	help i'm stuck on this log!!!

	ow!! damn it!! stop throwing things at me!!!

	now that we made up, let me tell you the truth, i fucked her brains out, yep, and the fish were watching also, the trout was like" can we watch" and i said no!!

	the diner is open!! (Music)

	hey it's dueling pianos!!

	woo! the movie got better!!

	how come we're not seeing any nudity now, did the nudity budget run out?

	satan has no shoes, huh?

	the killer must have a master key to the place

	i must kill the stairs!!

	this is a lovey tour of this house we're getting

	Here let me do the dishes.

	you're not using dawn!!

	this is why woman don't like doing chores

	what how could drowing cause bleeding!!

	try some laundry detergent...ack...

	oh come on, now they're just teasing us

	ohh!! that's sue!!!! they solved one plot hole

	The decorating is the scariest thing about this movie.

	we're taking your perm back

	boy she loves herself, she's just kissing herself...

	shes dying in a supermodel super sexy way

	if she wasn't so skinny that wouldn't have hurt her, she shouldn't have used the calista flockhart exercise video

	i'm gonna leave bloody finger prints everywhere!!

	this is what happens when you sleep on a bed of nails

	whoa!! WOO!!! 

	ohh! not my boob!! why'd you stab me there!!

	please don't stab me in my boobs

	don't kill sue, she's the plotline

	you're under arrest!! hahaha!!

	he's stabbing the wall!!

	why is she holding the knife, if she lets go she'll be ok

	thanks, we find out who sue is and she gets killed

	(as the two couples are walking in) Wow!  Who would've though killing all those people would be so easy?

	ok he likes to eat drop it!!

	why is she wearing camfloge in the middle of winter?

	if you're all dead ill just leave

	someone stabbed her in the boob!
	
	hey she's getting getting bigger!

	ok ok, while we're consoling you, did you fuck my husband? huh? Did you?!?

	hello mr killer dude guy

	I better check out their underwear.

	someone dropped a contact lens!

	she's breathing!!

	ok, don't act, just back away from the scene very slowly

	"before they think we did it"

	Wait!  They're in the same room!

	Shouldn't we call the cops?

	Huh? when did he slash the tires?

	Jeez...

	I need a toothpick!!!

	yep. bye.

	I'd rather go get killed in the woods.  Bye.

	but hold on loosely

	This is going to turn into the Shining, right?

	wait we gotta stop, i'm hungry

	wow tomato plant, well anyway

	soundtrack by the demo button on any keyboard

	cause she's more important to me

	oh that guy i fucked earlier...i mean

	well you should've bought a coat like I did, too bad!

	oh the tree's armed!

	Oh.  I have this stabbing pain in my neck!

	bullseye! 20 points you get the stuffed bear!

	wow he must throw as hard as kerry wood!

	she's gonna slip n slide her way to death

	the funny thing is? Al's still hungry!!

	and the award for long drawn out death scene goes to!!!!!!!

	so i can kill you for having sex with my husband

	you two can go and have sex now, it's only fair

	You had a hard day of fishing and finding the bodies of your friends, you get some rest.

	did you fuck her?? i mean...

	this is no time to worry about upgrading your computer!!

	I'm glad Balki is on the case here

	i know, i'll hold a barbeque and invite the killer!!

	this is in case santa clause is the killer

	yeah get naked and start jumping up and down

	this guy seen macguyver too many times

	I have no idea what the hell i'm doing

	he made a giant q-tip, is he gonna clean satan's ears?

	a killer's after me, sure, but these DAMN CURTAINS WON'T STAY STRAIGHT!!!!

	give me back that hair!!!!

	Oh, shoot.  My marshmallow.

	i'm trying to save your ass, get away, get away

	Ohh, i'm dead!!

	that was my favorite sleeve

	wait what were we looking at??

	don't turn the light off you bastard

	whoa she vanished cool!!

	you slept with my husband you bitch!

	how come this isn't an olympic sport

	satan's blade vs lucifers poker

	I love seeing shadow's fight!

	is that you walking very slow and dramatically

	well now that she's dead i can sleep with the husband all i want yes

	oh there you are you bitch

	it's a staring contest, i think we know who the winner is in that one

	ahh another beautiful murder filled day

	oh that's why the heat won't get through that was there!!

	you too can learn home maintence in under 30 days
	
	The soundtrack sounds like the music supervisor banging his head against the piano 

	hey it was sunner outside

	they never explained what that was, maybe we need to read the novelization to get the meaning

	strange enough i find you even more attractive

	rrr...rrr...rr..rrrr...

	oh nothing bad can happen with the cops here and..wha??

	man he should've shot her with beezelbubs pistol

	hey that makes him a "cop killer"

	I'm sorry?

	I didn't want to kill anyone...but...it just feels too good!

	i need peptol bismal to get it out!!

	oh, his knife completes him

	ow!! why am i doing this, ow!!
	
	hey, you left the echo button on!

	I patrol this mountain

	is he suppose to be an alien

	"i'm out of here"

	"I alone am best"

	OH yeah go back to the cabin, you'll be safe in there

	I'l stab the steps, die steps died, yes die steps died!!!!

	wow that's the best orgasam i ever had

	There!  I've mended my murderous ways.

	look i was trying to kill the rug you got in the way, ok?

	um, bye?

	why couldn't she have been naked?

	sounds like someone's trying to play "Figaro" on the piano

	time to go my feet are freezing for some reason

	Now, to relax with a nice salmon dinner.

	it became a very orange day

	man what got into me, like i was possessed or something

	let's go ski!!

	tell me again about the rabbits george

	let's hold each other

	diareeha is like a lake boiling inside your stomach
	
	hey it's the lady of the lake's demonic bastard son

	"there you go, enjoy, i'm outta here"

	oh no, this is the beginning of the movie!!!

	um the end?

	hey you wanna hurry it up there!!! we gotta rap this up!!

	"can anyone tell me where to find this satan's blade"

	(and the legend continues)  Lucky for us.

	stephine is stephine..ski is ski!!!

	"ohhh dream sequence..."

	wha wha special props!

	legal services formerly by dewey cheetum, and howe

	oh movie lab don't be so negetive

	scarevision?

	yeah well maybe Macintosh's faith can explain what was going on!!

	MC 900 Foot Productions and DJ Zero!!!