Episode 15-Against All Hope

Segment One

	(Jason is reading "The Stand" at the table. Cokie is next to him.)
	Cokie: Hi everyone, I'm Cokie. Jason here found a copy of Stephen King's novel "The Stand", the uncut edition, and he's been reading it for two weeks straight. He's getting close to the end as you can see, but I think it's rather rude of him to be reading now. Let me get his attention. (Clears throat) JASON!!!!
	(Jason gets startled and he drops the book.)
	Jason: What? (Looks down) Aw man...(Picks up book) I lost my place.      What'd you want, Cokie?
	Cokie: Nothing now.
	Jason: Why I oughta...now I gotta start all over again.
	(Jason opens it to the beginning and starts to read.)
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder, holding a notebook.)
	Snyder: Tobey? Who the hell is Tobey? Ohhh, I know...Tobey MacGuire, that Spiderman dude, he's pretty cool. Anyway, Soto, I wanted to get your opinion about something. Soto?
	(Jason is still reading the book.)
	Snyder: SOTO!!!!!
	(Jason drops the book again.)
	Jason: WHAT?! Aww man...
	Snyder: I wanted to tell you guys that I got a date tonight and I need help.
	Jason: You want me to take your place on the date?
	Snyder: Nice try. No, I wanna know what women nowadays find attractive. Last time I dated, it was in the 80's. We went and saw "Flashdance", then went to a Flock of Seagull's concerts, then later went shopping for Swatches.
	(Jason is trying to hold his laughter in.)
	Jason: Um...yeah you need help. First thing, don't do the dinner and the movie thing, that's so tired out.
	Cokie: Yeah. Instead go to a nearby fire hydrant, sniff it, pee on it, then sniff each other's butts for a good five minutes.
	Jason: Cokie!
	(Snyder is writing on a paper.)
	Snyder: Sniff butt. Got it. Ok, I'm gonna get dressed, while I'm doing that, you two are gonna watch your movie. It's called "Against All Hope" and it stars Michael Madsen, a very popular actor nowadays, in his first role. Hmm...I wonder if I still have my member's only jacket.
	(Goes back to Jason reading the book.)
	Cokie: Um....Jason? (Nothing.) Jason? (Still nothing.) JASON!!!
	(Jason gets startled and drops the book.)
	Jason: God dammit!!!

Segment Two

	(Jason walks in.)
	Jason: ...and so that's what "Like A Virgin" is about.
	Cokie: Oh, ok. Hey, I was thinking. In this movie, Michael Madsen was able to find immedate help just by looking in the yellow pages. You think if we looked up other random things that we want we could find it right away?
	Jason: Hmm...I don't know. Let's find out. (Pulls out a yellow pages) Ok, name something that would normally be hard to find in the yellow pages.
	Cokie: How about...a cartoonist who does naked caricatures of old penquins.
	Jason: Ok...(Flips through book and stops.) "Need a caricature of a naked old penquin? Call Max J. Davis, Cartoonist At Large". I'll be damned. Ok, how about...someone who knows how to fix Playstation's but uses Amish tools? (Looks through book and stops.) "Ye Needst Thou Playstation fix? Call Jebediah and ye shall not wait ney longer" Wow...
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder, wearing a towel around his waist, holding up two hangers of clothes.)
	Snyder: I don't know what to wear, Chickie. What do you think of this one? (Chickie doesn't say anything.) Ok, how about this one? (Chickie doesn't say anything.) Oh, what do you know, you're just a CHICKEN! I'm gonna go get ready, if she arrives, let her in and keep her company, ok? (Chickie doesn't say anything.) Thanks.
	(Snyder leaves. "I Gotcha" starts playing.)
	(Goes back to Jason and Cokie.)
	Jason (Reading from book): "Got a hampster stuck in an embarrassing orfice? Call Dr. Gere." I'll be damned. Oh, we gotta get back to the movie.	
Segment Three

	(Jason comes in. Cokie is on the table.)
	
	Jason: Hey Peanuts.
	Cokie: Huh?
	Jason: Boy, Peanuts, it sure would be awful lonesome to be stuck in this basement without you, my only true friend, Peanuts.
	Cokie: What the hell are you talking about?
	Jason: More bad news, Peanuts. You know how I said I thought Dr. Snyder was getting nicer? Well he isn't. If things get too rough, I'll run away from here. And take you along, Peanuts. 
	Cokie: The hell kind of drugs are you on??
	Jason: Why, we all can be a happy family. Peanuts, Cashew (Pulls up Godzilla/Eliot), Pecan (Pull up Bugs), and even Macamadamia! (Pulls up The Tick) We can all be Nuts!!!!
	Cokie: You're not kidding. Dr. Snyder, a little help please.
	("I Gotcha" is still playing. Chickie is still standing there.)
	Cokie: Thanks, Chickie. Let's just get back to the movie, Mr. Blonde.

Segment Four

	(Cokie is at the table. Jason, off camera, yells OW!, then walks in, holding a broken milkbone.)
	Jason: I thought I told you to never leave your stupid milkbones lying around. I stepped on one and hurt my foot.
	Cokie: You know, I'm so sick of you bossing me around. If you dont leave me alone, I'm gonna kill you and pee all over your body.
	Jason: Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?
	Cokie: What's that?
	Jason: I said, are you gonna bark all day little doggie or are you gonna bite?
	Cokie: That's it!!
	(Cokie jumps on Jason and they fall onto the floor.)
	("Little Green Bag" is playing and Dr.Snyder walks in, dressed up as best as he can, and putting on sunglasses, looking all cool. Then the music stops.)
	Snyder: How do I look? (Chickie doesn't say anything.) Good. Now I just gotta wait for my date. (Sits down.) Aw man I'm so nervous I gotta go to the bathroom.
	(Snyder gets up. After a moment, there is a knock.)
	Snyder (off camera): That's probably her. Can you let her in, Chickie?
	(Goes back to the basement and Cokie appears on the table.)
	Cokie: I won. Let's go finish this movie.

Segment Five

	("Stuck In The Middle" is playing and Jason is dancing around with a knife. Cokie comes up and the song ends.)
	Cokie: Sorry to bother you, Jason, but there's something I gotta talk to you about.
	Jason: Oh, ok. What's up, Cokie?
	Cokie: Well...this is an intervention. 
	Jason: An intervention? For what?
	Cokie: You...are a dumbass, Jason. And it hurts me. You really should get some help.
	Jason: You know what Cokie...
	Cokie: Don't say anything. I know it's painful, and maybe something in your past lead you to be a major dumbass but you really should stop.
	Jason: Really...hey Cokie...you wanna help me re-enact a scene from "Reservior Dogs"?
	(Turns "Stuck In The Middle" back on and picksup the knife and goes towards Cokie.)
	(Nobody is around upstairs and there is a piece of paper on the table. Snyder walks in.)
	Snyder: Hello, baby, I'm ready to...(Looks around.) Hello? (Looks at table and picks up paper.) "Took too long, went out with...Chickie." Damn it!!!!!!! I need a drink. And a song. (Turn radio on. "Coconut" plays briefly.) 

The End