Episode 14-Stage Fright

Segment One

	(Cokie is sitting at the table by himself.)

	Cokie: Hi everyone. Before Jason comes out and scares you, I should warn you about something. Recently, Dr. Snyder let us watch an hour of VH1's extended series "I Love The 80's" and they were talking about the 80's supergroup Journey. Well, ever since then, Jason, um, "grew" his hair out and he became a Journey fan. And not the normal type of Journey fan that just listens to them on a regular basis, but he's become...the annoying type.
	("Seperate Ways" starts playing and Jason comes out with a mullet and a white t shirt with the sleeves cut off. He starts lip synching with the music then it gets turned off.)
	Jason (In weird accent): Dude man, like why did you go and do that for?
	Cokie: Because you played that song over and over yesterday AND the day before that.
	Jason: So, like, what you sayin' dude?! You saying Journey's gay?!?! HUH?!?! HUH?!?!?!
	Cokie (Sighing): No Jason...maybe you should play another song.
	Jason: Oh, ok then, dude. JOURNEY WOO!!!!!
	(Jason turns around and looks through his CD's.)
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder and he is holding a box.)
	Dr. Snyder: Soto! Cokie! Pack your shit up! We're moving!
	Cokie: Sheesh, I know Jason is that annoying but we shouldn't abandon him?
	("Lights" starts playing.)
	Cokie: Ok, let's abandon him.
	Snyder: No, I found another house so we're gonna move into that one, ok?
	(Snyder picks up Chickie, puts him in the box, then closes it and starts to tape it shut.)
	Cokie: Um, ok. Did you hear that Jason?
	("Open Arms" is playing and Jason is crying.)
	Jason: Dude...I love you so much. 
	(Jason picks up Cokie and cries.)
	Snyder (Looking at his watch): Oh, well, no need to hurry, the movers won't be here for another two hours. So in that time, you can watch a crummy 80's movie-
	Cokie: NO!! NO MORE 80's!!!!
	Snyder: Relax Cokie, Journey is nowhere to be found in this movie. It's called "Stage Fright", and it's one of those movies from Europe that has been Americanized to death. Enjoy! Oh and don't forget to fill out your change of address forms.
	("Wheel In The Sky" starts playing. Jason is jamming to it.)
	Cokie: Ok Steve Perry, we gotta go, the movie's starting.
	Jason: WOO!!!

Segment Two

	(Jason is putting some things into a box. Cokie comes up.)

	Jason: You know, even though I think of this place as a prison, it was like home to me. I am gonna miss it.
	Cokie: You're gonna miss it? I practically grew up here. Actually, I feel like I'm on some tv show or underground fan video and everyone just watched me grow up.
	Jason: Yeah. Boy we sure had some times here, huh?
	Cokie: Yep. Hey, look what I found.
	(Jason picks up the "Dummy's Guide To Evil Chanting" book.)
	Jason: Oh hey, neat. Oh and look what I found. (Picks up a shovel and a coat.) It's my Halloween costume.
	Cokie: Oh, and look, from when I had my funeral home.
	(Jason picks up the "Cokie-Stein" sign and the dead body.)
	Jason: Ew, we never got rid of this body?
	Cokie: Nope, I guess not. It explains that smell. I always blamed it on you.
	Jason: Oh and, it looks like your lake dried up.
	(Jason picks up an empty bowl.)
	Cokie: Oh well, conservationists told me that was gonna happen anyway.
	Jason: Oh, bummer. Well, this was fun, looking back, huh?
	Cokie: Yep. We should do it again sometime.
	Jason: Yeah. Well, we gotta get back to the movie. Oh hey, look, the deadly chopsticks I used to fight off that evil alien from the planet Zorblath.	Cokie: That never happened.
	Jason: Oh. Right.

Segment Three

	(Jason and Cokie are still putting things in boxes.)
	
	Jason: Did we ever use this pen to fight off evil aliens from the planet Dooonath-9?
	Cokie: No, Jason.
	Jason: Hm. 
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder and he's packing his stuff.)
	Dr. Snyder: Oh hey look, those hats I made when I tried to kill everyone. Too bad that failed miserably. (Puts it in a box.) Oh and that videotape that was suppose to kill everyone. That failed also. Oh and that blueprint I made up to destroy the Fourth of July. That failed also...Hmm I'm picking up a pattern here. Maybe, once we live in the new house, I'll let Soto go and stop being an evil annoying jackass. Because, it's clear to me, that I am just no good at it.
	(Jason looks stunned.)
	Jason: Wow. Ok. So does that mean we don't have to finish up this lousy movie?
	Snyder: Oh, no! You're not getting out of it that easily!
	Jason: Aw shoot, ok. Lets go Cokie.
	Cokie: Wow a new house and a new life. This as been a very interesting day.

Segment Four

	(Jason is closing up a box and he puts it on the floor. The People Processor is on the table.)

	Jason: Oh, hey, The People Processor. Think we should take this with,  Cokie? (Looks around.) Cokie?
	(The People Processor activates and Godzilla steps through.)
	Godzilla: Like, rarr...
	Jason: Oh, hey Godzilla, what's up?
	Godzilla: I, like, heard you were moving and so I thought I'd say, like goodbye and stuff.
	Jason: Oh, that's nice of you. Thanks.
	Godzilla: Well, um, I'd stay to help you move but I gotta to stomp on Toyko again.
	Jason: Oh, right, ok. Thanks for stopping by.
	(Godzilla leaves but Bugs Bunny appears.)
	Bugs: Ehhh...what's up doc?
	Jason: Oh, hey Bugs. 
	Bugs: Ehh...you movin' eh doc?
	Jason: Yeah, I guess you can say that.
	Bugs: Ok, just don't take that wrong turn to alberqorkie.
	Jason: Right. 
	Bugs: Ehh....later, doc.
	(Bugs leaves but The Tick appears.)
	The Tick: I'm The Tick!
	Jason: Hi, Tick.
	(They just sit there for a moment.)
	Tick: I'm The Tick!
	(The Tick Leaves and is replaced by Mr. Destructo.)
	Mr. Destructo: Hello!!
	Jason: Oh, hey Mr. Destructo, you came to say bye to me and Cokie?
	Destructo: Bye?! No!! I came to get that twenty bucks you borrowed.
	Jason: Oh. Yeah. (Jason gives Mr. Destructo a 20.)
	Destructo: Thanks.
	(Destructo leaves and Cokie appears.)
	Jason: Cokie? Where did you come from?
	Cokie: The bathroom. I thought it'd be cool if I came through here. Neat huh?
	Jason: Um, whatever. We gotta go finish this movie.

Segment Five

	(There are tons of boxes around Jason and Cokie.)

	Jason: Ok, we're ready. Let's go start our new life.
	Cokie: Yay!!
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder.)
	Snyder: Before we leave, we must sing that standard goodbye song. "It's a long way...to Tipparary.."
	(The phone rings and Snyder answers it.)
	Snyder: Hello? Yes this is him. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh...ok, thanks. (Snyder hangs up. Then gets a knife opens a box and pulls Chickie out.) Guess what, Chickie? We're not moving after all.
	Jason: What?
	Cokie: Why aren't we moving?!
	Snyder: Well, I didn't know if we were moving for sure. I just put in a bid for a house and I lost the bid. So we're not moving. 
	Jason: You mean....you had us pack up everything down here, sit here and do pointless flashbacks, and have our friends say goodbye to us all because you only put a BID on a house? Jesus christ you are god damn fucking retard!!!
	Snyder: What..did you...say...
	Jason: Aw crap...
	Snyder: I was going to let you and Cokie go but now, forget it!! You will never ever leave that basement, Soto!!
	Jason: Aw shit!
	Cokie: Good job, asswipe!!
	Snyder: I am so mad.....at you that I'm going to send you the sequel, "Stage Fright 2: Owl Boogaloo"! I am really, really mad....GARBAGE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

The end