Episode 13-Bloodfreak w/ ABC's of Sex Education for Trainables

Segment One

	(Cokie is at the table by himself. Kelis' "Milkshake" is playing and Cokie is singing along. Jason walks in, looking at Cokie oddly.)

	Jason: I thought I told you to never ever play that song again.
	(Cokie continues to sing.)
	Jason: Cokie, stop it, that song is so annoying. It gives me a headache.
	(Cokie still sings.)
	Jason: Cokie, I'm warning you!!
	Cokie: Alright, alright, sheesh. (Music stops.) There, happy?
	Jason: Very much so. (Jason walks away.)
	(After a few seconds, Cokie turns the song back on and continues singing. Jason runs in and starts choking Cokie.)
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder.)
	Dr. Snyder: Um, Soto? Can you stop choking Cokie for one moment?
	Jason: Tell him to stop playing that damn Milkshake song and I will.
	Dr. Snyder: Cokie, stop playing that damn Milkshake song. I need to have a talk with you.
	Cokie: Oh, ok. (The song ends.) There.
	Jason: Thank you. (Jason lets Cokie go.)
	Cokie: What did you need to talk to me about?
	Snyder: Well...you're about a year old now, in dog years that seven. That's when my father had this talk with me.
	Jason: Oh boy, I think I better go.
	Snyder: No, you might learn something from this also.
	Jason: Oh, ok then I guess....HEY!!
	Snyder: You see Cokie, there comes a time in every persons and gentically engineered dog's life where...um...it's normal to...uh...hmm...
	Jason: You need some help there, Snyder?
	Snyder: NO!!! Um...I tell you what, how about if, before you watch your movie "Bloodfreak", you watch an educational short about this kind of thing. Um, I think it'll help prove my point.
	Cokie: Um, and that point will be?
	Jason: What he's trying to say Cokie is that every man-
	Snyder: GET IN THE THEATER!!!
	Jason: Sheesh, don't yell at me cause you're not a good dad. Come on, Cokie.

Segment Two

	(A mellow type song is playing. The screen says "The ABC's of Sex Education for Genetically Engineered Dogs". Goes to an extreme closeup of Jason.)
	Jason: Teaching your genetically engineered dog can be a easy and fun process if you know what steps to take. Sit down with your gentically engineered dog and using helpful diagrams and photographs, you can help get your point across.
	(Goes to Cokie and Dr. Snyder. Dr. Snyder is holding a stack of porno magazines.)
	Snyder: You have your Hustler...oh and there's Penthouse, a personal favorite. Then you got your Barely Legal...
	(Goes back to Jason, who has a closer shot.)
	Jason: Make sure your gentically engineered dog knows that such a thing is very common and he must not be ashamed.
	(Back to Cokie and Snyder)
	Snyder: Now, you may feel the urge to...you know, so I got you this blow up doll. (Dr. Snyder pulls out a unflated thing of rubber.) It's in the form of a sheep. Who knew they made such things?
	(Back to Jason, but you just see his eyes.)
	Jason: Make sure your genetically engineered dog knows the difference between men and women.
	(Back to Cokie and Snyder. Snyder is holding one magazine.)
	Snyder: Now this is a male, see how the male is "happy"? And now this (Holds up another magazine) This is a female, but she has clothes on. (Turns the page.) This is her without any clothes. (Turns the page.) And this is the woman covered with-eww what kind of magazine is this?
	(Goes back to Jason, but you just see his hair.)
	Jason: And finally, make sure you're helpful with your genetically engineered dog if he or she should have any questions.
	(Back to Cokie and Snyder.)
	Cokie: What if two guys want to go at it?
	Snyder: Um.....uh........
	Cokie: Or two women.
	Snyder: Whew, glad you asked that. Here's a picture of it. (Shows Cokie another magazine.)
	Cokie: Can I keep this, to, uh, study?
	Snyder: Sure.
	(Goes back to Jason, but you just see his chin.)
	Jason: Now you are closer to your genetically engineered dog, and he is ready to go out into the world to experience love or lust or screwing or whatever the hell you wanna call it. If you follow these guidelines, you and your genetically engineered dog will live a long healthy life.
	(Back to Cokie and Snyder.)
	Snyder: So, you still got any questions about sex?
	Cokie: Sex? You were teaching me about sex? I thought you were just showing me dirty pictures and making me say dirty things. DING DONG!!!!
	Snyder: OHH!!!! Get back downstairs with Soto and go watch your movie!!!!!!!!! 
	(Goes back to Jason, who is pushing the camera.)
	Jason: Why is this damn camera so close to me???!?!?!

Segment Three

	(Jason and Cokie are at the table.)

	Cokie: Hey Jason, I just finished downloading some songs, wanna check them out?
	Jason: Yeah sure.
	(Beck's "Loser" starts playing.)
	Jason: Oh, cool, I like this song.
	Cokie: Yeah. Here's another one.
	("Devil's Haircut" starts playing.)
	Jason: Another Beck song, huh?
	Cokie: Yeah, well...
	Jason: What else you got?
	("Where It At" starts playing.)
	Jason: Ok, another Beck song...
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder, getting into the song.)
	Dr. Snyder: Hey, this is pretty cool. Who does this?
	Cokie: It's Beck.
	Dr. Snyder: Beck? Hm, ok, I'll have to check this guy out.
	Jason: You mean, you never heard this before?
	Dr. Snyder: Nope.
	Cokie: Never at all?
	Dr. Snyder: Nope.
	Jason: Huh. You know what that means?
	Cokie: What?
	Jason: Dr. Snyder is a dumb bastard who doesn't know "Where It's At". 
	
Segment Four

	(Jason's and Cokie's back are turned to the camera.)
	Jason: I don't know if this is really going to work, Cokie.
	Cokie: It's got to work. It's gonna be the perfect pratical joke. Now just do as I say and it'll work.
	Jason: Alright but I'm still it's a dumb idea.
	Cokie: Oh stop being such a negetive Nancy.
	Jason: Negetive Nancy?
	Cokie: Shut up and listen. Tuck your head down into your shirt.
	(Jason does so.)
	Cokie: Now pick me up and put me on your head.
	(Jason does so.)
	Cokie: Now let's call Dr. Snyder.
	(Jason reaches behind him and picks up a remote control and pushes a button.)
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder, clipping his toe nails. He looks up.)
	Dr. Snyder: What do you want, Soto?!
	Cokie: Turn around now!!
	(Jason turns around and Cokie's head is sticking out of Jason's shirt. Cokie is making howling noises.)
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder looking scared in a generic fashion.)
	(Jason moves forward but trips and he bends over, making Cokie fall out. Jason pokes his head back out.)
	Jason: Oh, crap. Sorry, Cokie.
	Dr. Snyder: What? Oh you two idiots! Go back to the theater!!
	(Jason is wrapping Cokie in a bandage.)
	Jason: Let's never try that again, ok?
	Cokie: Oh shut up and let's go finish this movie. Ow...

Segment Five

	(Cokie is sitting there and "Milk shake" is playing again. Then the shot widens and "Hey Ya" starts playing and Jason comes out singing and dancing to it.)
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder and he is smoking a cigarette.)
	Dr. Snyder: Bad movies. Do they cause people to go insane? What is it about movies so awful that they make people dress oddly and sing and dance? In the case of Jason, it's simple stupidity. (Inhales the cigarette) And speaking of stupidity, smoking is really stupid. I mean (coughs) why do people (Coughs) do it? (Coughs a lot.) Oh god...until (coughs) next time...
(Coughs a whole lot, goes to turn the camera off and spits.) Oh what a nice color...

The End