Episode 11-King Kong vs Godzilla

Segment One

	(Cokie is on the table and Jason is sitting down. Jason is listening to his headphones, the music is kind of loud and Jason is singing along, rather badly.)
	Cokie: Hi everyone, I'm Cokie. This baffoon who's singing rather badly is Jason. And we're still trapped in Dr. Snyder's basement, forced to watch some bad movies. And we're about to watch one now. Let me get Jason's attention.
	(Cokie turns the volume up on Jason's headphones. Jason screams, grabs his ears, and falls down.)
	Cokie: He-he-he...that never gets old? Dr. Snyder?
	(Dr. Snyder is in sweats and is holding a bowl of snacks.)
	Dr. Snyder: Not now, Cokie! The fight is on tonight! I rigged up a 3000 dollar satellite and asked some of the "fellas" to come over tonight!
	Cokie: What fight? And what fellas?
	Dr. Snyder: You know...the Big Fight!! And the fellas!!! Chickie, are the fellas' here yet?
	(Chickie just stands there.)
	Dr. Snyder: Well, go check the door. 
	(Chickie disappears)
	Dr. Snyder: So while I have company, I'll send you two a movie.
	Cokie: Aw, man, we can't watch the fight?
	Dr. Snyder: Hmm...let me think-NO!!! Your movie tonight is a classic fight of it's own, as made by Toho. It's "King Kong vs Godzilla". Who's here, Chickie?
	(Chickie appears with The Tick.)
	The Tick: I'm The Tick!
	Dr. Snyder: Hey Tick, grab a seat. Beer's in the fridge.
	The Tick: I'm The Tick!!!
	Cokie: Hm...I didn't know Dr. Snyder was friends with The Tick. Anyway, the movie's starting, Jason!
	(Jason stands up, holding his ears.)
	Jason: Next time, just tap me, ok?!

Segment Two

	(Jason comes out holding a script.)
	Jason: Cokie, I don't understand some things in this Godzilla play you wrote.
	(Cokie comes up, wearing a Godzilla costume.)
	Cokie: Like what?
	Jason: Well for one thing, it doesn't make any sense.
	Cokie: Well, since when did any Godzilla movie make any sense?
	Jason: Good point there. And also, how come I can't play Godzilla? I'm bigger then you...and you don't even like Godzilla.
	Cokie: Because I'm the only one who can fit into the costume. 
	Jason: Oh. Ok. Well, let's get this over with.
	(The Vapors "Turning Japanese" starts playing and the screen reads "What if Godzilla was in "The Odd Couple"?")
	(Goes to Cokie, as Godzilla and he roars. Goes to Jason, looking scared.)
	Jason: OHH!! GODZILLA!!! AHH!!!!!
	(Cokie roars again.)
	Jason: OK, you can live with me!!! OHHH!!!!
	(Goes back to the screen and it reads "What if Godzilla was in "The Mary Tyler Moore Show"?")
	(Goes back to Cokie, he roars. Back to Jason, scared.)
	Jason: OHH!! GODZILLA!! AHH!!
	(Cokie roars again.)
	Jason: Yes, you got spunk!! I hate SPUNK!! OHHH!!!
	(Goes back to the screen and it reads "What if Godzilla was in "The Twilight Zone"?")
	(Goes to Cokie, roars. Back to Jason, scared.)
	Jason: OHH!! GODZILLA!! AHH!!
	(Cokie roars again.)
	Jason: OH my god, all kinds of weird things are happening to me!!! OHHH!!!!
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder, drinking. He looks at the camera.)
	Dr. Snyder: Will you two keep it down? You're distracting my guests!! Right Tick and Bugs?
	(Shows Bugs Bunny next to The Tick.)
	Bugs: Ehhh...No problem, doc!
	The Tick: I'm The Tick!!!
	(Goes back to the screen and it reads "What if Godzilla was in "Seinfeld"?")
	(Cokie roars, Jason is scared.)
	Jason: OHHH! GODZILLA AHH!!!
	(Cokie roars again.)
	Jason: I'm the master of my domain!!! OHHH!!.... ok, Cokie, this is too stupid. How many more of these things you got?
	Cokie: About 200 more contempary shows.
	Jason: Oh...well, I think we should stop while we're ahead. And plus we gotta get back to the movie.
	(Cokie roars.)
	Jason: Get in the theater...GODZILLA!! OHH!!!

Segment Three

	(Jason and Cokie are at the table.)

	Cokie: Man, this is kind of a confusing movie. I wish we could talk to someone involved with the making of this movie.
	Jason: Well...we got the People Processor. 
	(Jason brings up The People Processor.)
	Cokie: Oh, yeah. Ok, let's call someone then.
	Jason: How about...the man himself?
	Cokie: Toho?
	Jason: No! Godzilla!
	Cokie: Oh. Ok. Calling...Godzilla!
	(The People Processor operates and Godzilla appears.)
	Godzilla: Like, raa!
	Jason: Hey, Godzilla, don't be alarmed. 
	Godzilla: Like, I'm not alarmed. I'm freakin' Godzilla.
	Jason: Right. Well, we just wanted to ask you some questions.
	Godzilla: Questions? About what?
	Cokie: About your fight with King Kong.
	Godzilla: Hmm...King Kong? Can you describe him? I fought so many monsters in my career that I can't recall them by name alone.
	Jason: Well, he's about as big has you.
	Cokie: He's hairy.
	Jason: And he's an ape.
	Godzilla: OH!! Kong! Yeah, I remember him. He was pretty cool.
	Cokie: Did you hate him?
	Godzilla: No, not at all. Kong was an ok person. He's no Gamera or the Smog Monster, that's for sure. But it really wasn't fair because the most Kong ever did was climb a building in New York, so he didn't have a lot of experience, you know?
	Jason: Yeah. So what happened to you two once you two were done fighting?
	Godzilla: Well, I don't wanna ruin how the final fight ended but when it was over, came the apologizes, and then we hung out in a bar. Then I had to go fight Mecha-Godzilla and he went back to that island of his and, well, we just kind of drifted apart.
	Cokie: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
	Godzilla: Well, I hear he's happy now. The people on the island got some scientists to whip him up a girlfriend and they're married now.
	Jason: Oh, well, that's cool. Um...didn't we call him about the movie, Cokie?
	Cokie: Um..I don't remember. I'm sure it wasn't important though.
	Jason: Yeah.
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder, looking at the camera.)
	Dr. Snyder: Hey! Is that Godzilla?
	Godzilla: Yeah, is that you Snyder, you ol' goat humper?
	Dr. Snyder (Laughing): Come on up here, the fight's gonna start soon.
	Godzilla: Ohh!! The Big Fight?
	Dr. Snyder: Yeah!
	Godzilla: Oh, I'm there, dude!! Hey, I gotta take off you guys. Stay cool!
	Jason: Wait, you know Dr. Snyder?
	Godzilla: Yeah, we go way back. Anyway, I'll catch you later, Larry.
	Jason: It's Jason.
	Godzilla: Sure it is...
	(The People Processor operates and Godzilla disappears.)
	Jason: Well, that was disappointing...
	Cokie: I bet King Kong would've been nice...
	Jason: Oh shut up. Let's get back to the movie.

Segment Four

	(Jason and Cokie are at the table.)

	Jason: You know, all this talk about fighting, it made me wonder something.
	Cokie: If violence is really nessesscary in our modern culture?
	Jason: No, I wondered who would win in a fight between me and you.
	Cokie: Oh. Well, I think the answer is obvious.
	Jason: Yeah...it is.
	(Jason glares at Cokie. Cokie "glares" at Jason. Jason again. Cokie again.)
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder and next to him is Chickie, The Tick, Bugs Bunny, and Godzilla.)
	Dr. Snyder: We got a good crowd here at our fight party, huh Chickie? I wonder if anyone else is gonna show up?
	(Suddenly Mr. Destructo shows up.)
	Mr. Destructo: I AM MR. DESTRUCTO!!! AND I WILL DESTROY YOUR PARTY!!!!!!!!
	Dr. Snyder: Who the hell are you?
	Destructo: I said (Ahem) I AM MR. DESTRUCTO!!!!
	Dr. Snyder: Umm...ok. Why are you here?
	Destructo: Don't you ever listen? I said (Ahem) I WILL DESTROY YOUR PARTY!!!!!
	Dr. Snyder: Aw, but The Fight is tonight.
	Destructo: I WILL DESTROY...the fight is on tonight?!
	Dr. Snyder: Yeah.
	Destructo: Oh...well...I'll destroy your party later. Pass those chips.
	(Goes back to Jason and Cokie, still glaring at each other.)
	Cokie: Are we just gonna glare at each other all night?
	Jason: No, we gotta go finish the movie. 
	(Jason glares at Cokie while leaving.)

Segment Five

	(Jason and Cokie are at the table. Jason looks upset.)
	Jason: Man...I can't believe Godzilla lost.
	Cokie: Yep, what a shame. Where's my money, Punchy?
	Jason: I don't understand it. He breathes fire and that damn monkey is made out of fur. Why didn't Godzilla just roast his ass?
	Cokie: Yeah, yeah, less complaining and more paying.
	(Jason pulls out a 20 dollar bill and puts it next to Cokie.)
	Cokie: Now do the dance.
	Jason: Oh, not the dance.
	Cokie: Yes the dance.
	(Jason sighs and then starts doing a goofy dance.)
	Cokie: With the song.
	Jason: Cokie!! (Cokie just looks at him. Jason sighs again.) Cokie is God. Cokie is Right. Cokie is Never Wrong. Jason is A Moron. Jason is a Jackass...
	Cokie: Yes, yes...Jojo Dancer, you're life is calling you. (Laughs.) Dance!!!!
	(Goes to Dr. Snyder and his guests.)
	Dr. Snyder (To camera): Will you two keep it quiet? The fight is about to start!!
	On TV: And the Fight has begun. He takes a swing and...ohhh his opponent is down on the floor!!
	Dr. Snyder: NO! No! Get up!!!
	On TV: -And ten!! That's a knock out!! WINNER!!!! And the fight is over. Goodnight. (Changes voice) We now continue with the concert series "Carl Douglas: Kung Fu Fighting...After All These Years". 
	(Kung Fu Fighting starts playing.)
	Dr. Snyder: NO!!! I paid 3000 dollars for this satellite system, plus another 3000 dollars for this high denstity television set, plus the snacks and-
	Bugs: Ehh...this party sucks.
	The Tick: I'm The Tick...and this bites!
	Godzilla: I rather be fighting King Kong again.
	Destructo: I would be too ashamed to admit to destroying this party.
	(One by one, the guest leave.)
	Dr. Snyder: NOOOO!!!!!! WHY?!?!?!?! (Looks at camera.) Somehow this is your fault!!! For that, you will watch "Sense and Senseability" for 24 hours straight!!!!!!!!!!!
	(Jason and Cokie scream no!!!!!)

The End