Episode 7: Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2

Segment One

	(Cokie is on the table, talking into a cellphone.)

	Cokie: Yeah I'm listening, babe. Sure, babe. But can you- Oh, ok, babe.
	(Jason comes up to the table.)
	Jason: Hello everyone, I'm Jason and this is Cokie and- (Looks at Cokie) Who are you talking to?
	Cokie: Can you hold on a minute, babe? (To Jason) I'm talking to my agent.
	Jason: Agent? Why do you need an agent?
	Cokie: I'm trying to make it big on television. My agent has all kinds of shows lined up for me that he wants me to try out. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm working out on a deal for how much I should get paid. (To the phone) Sorry about that, babe. Yeah, babe, it's cool, babe.
	Jason: You're agent's name is Babe?
	Cokie: Excuse me again, babe? (To Jason) No, that's what everyone calls everyone in "Famous Land". Jeez. (To the phone) Sorry again, babe.
	Jason: Ok. Let's see what Dr. Snyder is up to.
	Cokie: Can you get that, Jason? Daddy's busy on the phone.
	Jason: Sure. (Pauses) Hey!
	(Goes to upstairs and instead of Dr. Snyder it's Prof. Snyder, Dr. Snyder's brother.)
	Prof. Snyder: Hello! (Laughs all weird) I bet you're surprised to see me.
	Jason: Yeah...who are you?
	Cokie: Hold on a moment, babe. (To Prof. Snyder) Oh my God!! It's Prof. Snyder!! Dr. Snyder's brother!!
	Jason: How do you know?
	Cokie: I met him when I was in that alternate world where I didn't exist...or in that dream where I didn't exist. I haven't figured it out yet. AHHH! (Back to the phone) Sorry, babe, what were you saying?
	Prof. Snyder: Yes, the talking dog was right, I am Connie's brother.
	Jason: Wait, Connie? Dr. Snyder's first name is Connie? (Laughs)
	Prof. Snyder: It's short for Conrad, you twit!! 
	Jason: What's your name? Frannie?! (Laughs)
	Prof. Snyder: It doesn't matter what my name is! You must bow down to me!!!...while my brother is off getting surgery.
	Jason (Finishes laughing): Surgery?
	Prof. Snyder: Yes. He's always been sensitive about his voice and he decided to do something about it once and for all. So he left me here to babysit you two...and Chickie. (Looks at Chickie) Oh, don't look at me like that! Now it says here (Looks at clipboard) I'm suppose to send you a movie to, and I quote "Torture the likes of Soto and Cokie so their wills and sanity will bend like a rubber spoon". Well, I'm not a real movie guy. So I'll just send you a movie that I saw one night at Christmas on USA Up All Night. 
	Jason: You're sending us a Christmas movie?
	Prof. Snyder: Yes!! And it's called "Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part Two"!!!
	Jason: A christmas movie AND it's a sequel to something? Jeez...(Looks at Cokie) Do you at all realize what's going on here, Cokie?
	Cokie: Yeah, Jason...the toilet's on fire...(To the phone) Yeah, babe, I'm still here.
	Jason: Look get off that phone and get in the theater. The movie's starting. BABE!
	
Segment Two

	(Cokie is still on the phone)

	Cokie: Ok, that fabulous, babe. Thanks. (Gets off the phone.) Jason! Great news! 
	(Jason comes up.)
	Jason: You found a way to escape now that Dr. Snyder is gone?
	Cokie: No! Jeez...you always got a one track mind. The shows that I filmed pilots for are done. You wanna see one of them?
	Jason: If I say no, would that stop you from playing them?
	Cokie: No. Here's one.
	(Goes to Cokie sitting on the table.)
	Voice over (Which is really Cokie): Can a neat freak (Shows Bug Bunny) and a total slob live together (Show Cokie and Bugs) without driving each other crazy? (Cokie/VO sings The Odd Couple Theme. The screen reads "The Weirdly Matched Couple".)
	(During the humming of the theme song, shows "Cokie" picking up something like a cigarette from the table with the tip of a pen. Then shows them dancing.)
	(Comes back to Jason & Cokie. Jason looks confused and slightly stunned.)
	Jason: Um, Cokie?
	Cokie: Good, huh?
	Jason: You do know that that show is just a rip off of "The Odd Couple".
	Cokie: The Odd...no. It's called "The Weirdly Matched Couple", not "The Odd Couple" jeez...what's with you?
	Jason: No. I mean the show from the 70's, based on Neil Simon's play and movie from the 60's. "The Odd Couple". You know?
	Cokie: No. I don't. If you don't like it, just say so. Jeez. 
	Jason: Why were you and that other guy dancing at the end?
	Cokie: I dunno. My agent said it had something to do with what was in the original. 
	Jason: Um, ok. I think we should get back to the movie.
	
Segment Three

	(Cokie and Jason are at the table.)

	Cokie: So you wanna see another show pilot I did?
	Jason: It's not a rip off is it?
	Cokie: No, no. These are all original. Here, take a look.
	(Shows Cokie & Bugs standing at the table.)
	Cokie: Shemezal! Shamazal! (Whatever) Incorporated!
	(Shows the opening like "Laverne & Shirley" but it it says "Bugs & Cokie".)
	(Goes back to Jason)
	Jason: No!!
	Cokie: What? You didn't even let it begin.
	Jason: Cokie, you're ripping off "Laverne & Shirley". Rather badly, I might add. Doesn't your agent have you signed up for any original projects?
	Cokie: I think they're all original.
	Jason: Have you ever seen "Laverne & Shirley"?
	Cokie: No.
	Jason: How about "The Odd Couple"?
	Cokie: No.
	Jason: Well, that's why. You should've consulted me before filming these things. These shows will never make it on the air.
	Cokie: Well...I don't think they're all rip off's. You wanna see another one?
	Jason: We gotta get back to the movie. But later, yeah. Come on.
	
Segment Four

	(Cokie is on the phone.)

	Cokie: Yeah, babe, he says they're rip offs. Well yeah he is a moron, but he's a moron who watches a lot of television. Alright, we'll see what he thinks of that one. Later, babe. (Hangs up.) Jason!
	(Jason appears)
	Jason: Ok, you said you got more "original show pilots" to show me?
	Cokie: Yeah. Here's another one.
	(Shows a big heart and Cokie's name and Bug's name appears, then the title "I Love Cokie" comes up. Goes to Bugs standing there.)
	Bugs (In accent): Cokie!!! You got some 'splanin' to do!!!
	(Cokie comes in.)
	Cokie (Crying like Lucy): WAAAA!!! BUGS!!!! WAAAA!!!
	(Goes back to Jason and he looks petrified.)
	Jason: Oh my God!!
	Cokie: Don't tell me of all the ones I did, that's a rip off.
	Jason: Yeah! That's "I Love Lucy". You had to have heard of "I Love Lucy" it's like a staple in television history...or something.
	Cokie: Ok...well there's another show that we didn't film. I'm suppose to do the theme song.
	Jason: Let me hear the theme song.
	Cokie: Ok. (Clears throat) You take the best, you take the rad, you take them together and you get "The Fiction of Life"..."The Fiction of Life"...
	Jason: Alright, stop!! Cokie, I think you need to drop this agent of yours. He's gonna ruin any television career you might get.
	Cokie (Sighing): Well...alright. 
	Jason: Let's go finish this movie..."The Fiction of Life..."

Segment Five

	(Cokie is by the phone. Jason is there.)

	Jason: You gotta do it.
	Cokie: But...I wanna be famous!
	Jason: Cokie, listen. No one is going to like or respect you if you do a show that is a blantant rip off of a highly popular show. I mean, that's like if  all kinds of people just got together and made their own "Mystery Science Theater 3000" show. I mean come on!!
	Cokie: You're right!! So you do it!
	Jason: What?
	Cokie: I'm not good at breaking up with anyone. I, well, never done it before.
	Jason: Oh fine. (Jason picks up the phone and dials the number. Then waits.) Oh hello...babe? Yeah this is Jason Soto, I'm calling in behalf of Cokie. Yeah, the genetically enginnered talking dog. He didn't know how to tell you this but he doesn't really want you to represent him anymore. Yeah, I seen the shows he was in and I think it's awful what you were doing to Cokie, ripping off-Another idea? What is it? Him, Bugs, and two other animals, live in a building. Yeah, one of them is older and lives in the bottom floor, another one's always horny, and Cokie is married and is friends with Bugs? What's it called? Oh. 22...5. Well listen, buddy...ok "BABE" just consider yourself short one last agent...you what? Me? Really? Well, no I never considered it. Hmm...that sounds original. Let's give it a try.
	(Shows on the screen "Inside The Actor's Basement". Goes to Jason sitting oddly with a stack of index cards. Jason looks at the camera)
	Jason: Television stars come and go...but my guest didn't do either. His name is Cokie and he is a terrific actor. Hello, Cokie.
	(Cokie is across from him.)
	Cokie: I don't believe how stupid you are for accepting this job.
	Jason (Laughing): Yes, yes indeed. You did do a show called "I Love Cokie" one of the finest television shows that was out at the time. Tell me, when you were filming that show, did you eat a lot of ice cream?
	Cokie: Um...
	Jason: If you could be any flavor of ice cream what would it be?
	Cokie: Prof. Snyder?!
	Jason: If you had your choice to wear boxers, brief, or a jock strap for the rest of your life-
	Cokie: PROF. SNYDER!!!!
	(Goes to Prof. Snyder, who isn't paying attention to Jason or Cokie. He is holding a food dish.)
	Prof. Snyder: Are you sure Dr. Snyder feeds you nothing but mashed up pizza and polish sausages? (Looks at Chickie) If you say so. (Puts it in front of Chickie, then looks at him.) Jeez, you eat like a pig. (Looks at the camera) As for you two, my brother Dr. Snyder will be back in the next episode so the opening theme song doesn't need to be changed! Until then! (Leans over to turn the camera off, looks at Chickie) EXCUSE YOU!
	(Turns camera off.)